9622.net

Woo-Hoo! Yet another mini-Fes or Fessete!

oh, thanks for the sartorial primer, Don Fes.

Thank you, and my pleasure - but I said no one had to know! :)

It's going to be another boy. On the way home from the doctors appt where these sonograms were taken, MissusFes (who was hoping for a girl) is silent for a while, then says: "My house is going to be FULL of STINKY boys!"

Me: "Don't think of us as a houseful of stinky boys, think of us as your own private army of men who'll do anything you ask."

MissusFes: (pause) "Never thought of it that way..."

Congratulations, Bodhisattva Fes.

I will consider it OK for me not to reproduce, what with all the little Festers popping up.

Thanks :) Kaf, don't you feel, like I do, that it's just plain selfish to withhold your superior genes from the world, knowing what we do about the general level of murk in that particular pool?

I don't know. I may be mellowing on the anti-repro front. It's tough to fight the zero-population grwoth v. urge to procreate battle.

Mrs. Fes speaks truth - my boy chilluns had the remarkable ability to smell like an old gym shoe within a half hour of having a bath, soap and all.

Stinky boys - can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em.

Congrats, Papa Fes!

Kaf, that's the home-ownership talking. As long as we've gone this far....

Congratulations, Fes! Since you're having more than one, I figure that absolves me of any responsibility toward survival of the species. (Oh, us wild bachelors...)

(Besides, I got genes I don't wanna pass along to the world. One of me is plenty, trust me.)

My best to MissusFes as well!

Whither the baby girls of 9622.net?

We were pretty damned sure we were carrying a girl because nobody we knew was having female primates. Nobody. But he's got a stinger, and we're just as happy as can be!

But that'sa fine lookin' blob you got there! Your blob and my blob should meet when they're paroled. Although yours will inevitably be the snappier dresser...luckily I don't think they care much until they're at least, oh, four.

Good on you, fertile-man!

stinger?

I always thought of mine as the devious but retarded midget that leads me through life.

No, that's this guy.

Fes & Readymade:If you don't mind I'll congrat the fetuses, way to go dudes. My mom had all 3 boys so my heart goes out for Mrs. Fes. as my mom too wanted at least "a" girl. Think you'll have more Fes, wait is this your plot...

Is it really wise for ANY of us to procreate?

Hey! Whatever happened to b****fire?

My mom recently confessed that, when we were wee tykes, she used to dress me and my brother in girl clothes when my father wasn't around. I'm sure it had no affect on my psyche, however.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go Fung Shui my moisturizer collection.

My mother once had a wreck that folded all four of us kids into the back seat of the station wagon. But that didn't bother me either.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go to the chiropractor. Again.

ColdChef, whatever happened to you???

Congrats, fes! What, um, is that in the second photo? The first one, I get...the second one, not so much.

Vidiot and I will doubtlessly end up married to each other in our childless old age, rocking in twin rocking chairs on our front porch, and wishing there was someone around to change our adult diapers.

Cyrano, you know who else used to get dressed up like a girl by his mom? Henry Lee Lucas.

You can't prove anything...

Little dude's got a large, uh, head.

C_S the pic in the thread next door & the second pic are similar...had an older(mention as it adds to the tale) woman pick me up the other night; on the way to my place she blurts out:you're cute & I'm ovulating. Have to say the best pick up-line to make a single man feel could about himself then go limp.
{excuse my poor posts of late not all been posting, thought it was 9622 but was informed by mis that my hard drive needs mirroring & replaced...it's shite.}

Hey, everybody needs a traditional, old-fashioned Portuguese godfather, Fes! Consider me a candidate!

Congratulations, you lucky but deserving man!

*chokes a bit*

That second photo is, ah, the confirmation on his gender.

It's the little turtle-head looking thing with the line next to it, not the big thing underneath. That's, sadly, his leg.

9622: You're cute and I'm ovulating.

Vidiot and I will doubtlessly end up married to each other in our childless old age, rocking in twin rocking chairs on our front porch, and wishing there was someone around to change our adult diapers.

That would probably end up being me in between bowls of creamed pocky as I watch the Billy Graham Crusade on TV, which 50 years from now will probably be hosted by a born-again James Hetfield.

Portuguese godfather? I'm taking you up on that one, Miguel. And thanks :) Thanks, everyone. I'm not looking forward to the sleepless nights and the umbilical-stump cleaning, but I am pretty pleased.

Anyone know a good name? Interesting, but something he can shorten into something conformist when he gets to highschool? Right now we're mulling "Jonah", "Beckett" and "Elias."

My first choice was "Reinhardt," but MissusFes but the kibosh on that pretty quick. I returned her the favor for "Gabriel."

"Adolph" and "Mookie" are, obviously, right out.

So that clucky sound eminating from my browser upon navigation to 9622 wasn't some happy midi soundtrack embedded by der vonderchicken....

My sincere thanks for your positive contributions to the gene pool - the more you reproduce, the less I feel morally obligated to add in my chromasomes. Woot!

*raises glass* May the fruit of your loins never give you sorrow. And may they give readymade and MissusFes lots of happy drugs while they squeeze a watermelon sized fetus through a hole the size of a kumquat.

A dopo my simian friends - I have to go escort my grandmother, uncle and father around the city while Granny continuously implies that I need to squirt out a few great-grandsproglings. After I gets meself married, of course. :-P

J got his first suspension from school yesterday (at the ripe ol' age of 5).

They were having circle time, and it was his turn to get up and dance in the middle of the circle to some silly music that was playing. A kind of kiddie breakdancing contest, if you will.

What they didn't make clear to J was that he was supposed to dance with his pants on.

(and, congrats, fes!)

What they didn't make clear to J was that he was supposed to dance with his pants on.
hallarious...: but dad that's how Tom Cruse does in the movies.

Fes, I like the old fashioned stuff. Joseph. James. Andrew. Maxwell. Save the fancy names for a middle name - that's my 2 cents.

Adam, I would be at that school kicking ass so fast it'd make their eyeballs spin. Suspended? That is just wrong, wrong, wrong. Grrrr. Stupid people.

and thanks for asking that question, cowboy_sally, so that I didn't have to. I was certainly, umm, perplexed, by that second pic.

"Do you have any objection to naming a child Vladimir...even a girl?"

waittacottonpicknminute! They didn't give me a picture of our kid's turtleneck--and I would have gladly posted it for all to see. Gawdammit. I feel cheated!

And for the J suspension--I think it shows awesome promise in the lad. A rebel, a do-er, a showman. Any true monkey would be proud.

Since no Reinhardt, how bout Django? It's a cool name.

Not to be the voice of conservativism here, but much as we all have dreamed of a pantless society, our reality is that, for good or ill, this world demands of us pants.

how bout Django?

Too Star Wars. Wasn't he Boba Fett's son? :)

Our kid was almost Django, but Milo Xavier won out. You monkeys are freaky with the psychic name voodoo.

9622.net: dreaming of a pantless society.

Is it pronounced Duh-JANG-go or Duh-YANG-go?

Two syllables, Fes. "DJANG-o."

Vidiot and I will doubtlessly end up married to each other in our childless old age, rocking in twin rocking chairs on our front porch, and wishing there was someone around to change our adult diapers.

Mmmmm....poopy diapers and wrinkly_sally. Sounds idyllic.

*sigh*

I suppose I'll have to burp the both of you. Please try and keep the projectile vomiting to a minnimum

I always wanted to name a girl Crayola.

I knew a girl named Toshiba in high school. She was named after a cassette player.

And I hear stories (almost certainly apocryphal) of a girl named Shithead...pronounced "Sh-teed."

Congrats, Fes. May he have his father's taste in music.

Isn't the D in Django silent, as the "p" in swim?

Yup. I mis-typed the "JANG-o" pronouncer.

I've always wanted to name kids Arista, Dema, Buera, or Otto. It's probably for the best that I never had any kids.

I think the world needs more Arthurs, but I'm biased like that.

What about Quentin? Akira? (may be hard to explain if you're not Japanese) Orson?

much as we all have dreamed of a pantless society, our reality is that, for good or ill, this world demands of us pants.

Oh, most certainly ill, no question about it.

Congrats on the spawnage!!

Congrats, Fes! And yes, tell the missus that she will indeed be the queen of the household. I can back that one up from personal experience.

And I love to bandy about names. It is always a fun discussion--we hosted a poll when we were expecting our most recent kiddo. While we were trying to come up with names, my husband actually stumbled across someone named "Monkey" in the Texas genealogical archives. Pretty cool, eh?

Ya know, we get to explain the origins of our online names in our profiles over on the blue, but I would love to hear the stories behind your real names.

*channels Miguel* So, were you named after someone? Perhaps a specific event or locale spawned your moniker? Does it fit you like a glove or weigh you down like an albatross? *end channel*

Congrats Fes!

All I can suggest is DON'T go the gaelic route. It leads to tears and spelling trauma for the child. My mom had some traditional Welsh names picked out - who names a daughter Morfudd? Luckily my father stepped in, and I got an anglicised version of a Welsh name.

(Yeah, this is aimed right at you parents of Taliesin who live in a logging town where his name will not only lead to fistfights but likely mean being given a nickname people can pronounce like "T-Boz" or "Schlumpy".)

But you know, here are some bold choices if you want to be different. I'd suggest "Blodeuwedd" for daughters and "Aneurin" for a son.

How about Skeeter?

So, were you named after someone? Perhaps a specific event or locale spawned your moniker?

I was named after a Catholic shrine my parents visited while they were on their honeymoon. Just the fact that they were visiting shrines when they should have been making woopee I find a bit strange.

Other than that, the name's ok - but tizzie is more "me" :)

Ok, new squirrel story:
I've got a gas can out in my back yard, with I guess about a quart still in it. Well, the pressure changes of late must have made the vent pop open. I went out back to get rid of some trash, and there's one of the squrrels, on top of the can, sniffing the fumes. judging by the pile of squirrel shit on the can, they've been doing this for a couple days.

No, I'm not kidding.

When I was a kid, my dad told me they had named me after Mary Magdalene, a prostitute who had her virginity restored every new years eve. It was a long time before I learned that actually I was named after a university friend of my parents and that my dad's grasp of Christian hagiography is a bit sketchy.

My name is derived from my dad's initials. And my middle name is my dad's first name. Kinda lame, actually.

You could name the kid "Knuckles." No one would ever mess with him.

Or you could name him Huffy Squirrel.

Congrats Fes! Thanks for sharing with us. You all are quite fertile.

Our kid was almost Django, but Milo Xavier won out

That's crazy. One day driving down to Houston, the Miss Ufez and I were discussing baby names and the first two that I said were Milo and Xavier. She denied them both, dammit.

Dearest Fes and Mrs. Fes: I have to say I've mulled it over and tried it out in my mind and I really, really like Beckett.

At first, I feared it would remind people of Dylan, Woody Allen's kid, but no. Beckett is a great name. The fact some will associate it with the (to me) greatest writer ever is just dandy.

Beckett is the right mix of traditionalism and individuality. And it's a great name.

Thus is completed the voting of the Lisbon jury. :)

Hate to break it to ya, Miguel, but over here, people would probably think Dylan from "Beverly Hills 90210" first, then Bob Dylan, then Dylan Thomas and only if they're some sort of pointless-trivia-sponging superfreaks would they even think of Woody Allen's kids.

On the other hand, though, if Fes named the kid Dweezil or Moon Unit...

(See, there's your stragtegy, Fes: Throw out as many ridiculous names as possible until you sense your wife's resolve weakening, then hit 'er with the (only slightly ludicrous) real thing. "C'mon honey, Dweezil's a great name! Okay, how 'bout Pee Wee? etc etc.)

I like Beckett. It's nice, and it goes well with Fes' surname.

Two votes for Beckett.

RUFUS!!!!

Sassafrass is nice.

Thanks for the CD by the way, Fes. Honestly, it's not my cup of tea, but the insight into the soul of my fellow searcher for truth is invaluable.

Miss Ufez and I were discussing baby names and the first two that I said were Milo and Xavier.

See, now, that's just freaky. Because I've discussed the name thing with virtually no-one but you guys, and you all keep accidentally hitting on these names that we're actually serious about. It's strange! It's bizarre! It's proof positive that there is some vortex of monkey names into which we have all been dunked and can't find our way out.

If this is true, best of luck to you Mista Fes. Your kid is now at the mercy of a bunch of drunk monkeys.

Wouldn't you rather be at the mercy of drunk monkeys than, say, sex-starved gila monsters?

Sheesh, readymade, you act like its a bad thing.

Blind Lemon is a nice name. Failing that, Vidal. Or perhaps Snooky.

I concur with the Blind Lemon suggestion. Or, failing that, anything within the [infirmity] + [fruit] + [President] rubric. So you could have:
Blind Lemon Jefferson
Deaf Pineapple Johnson
Amnesiac Carambola Fillmore
Palsied Apple Coolidge

et cetera. (You get the idea.)

It's so familiar. Where's that bit from, Vidiot?

One of those nameless e-mail forwards that circulates -- I got it a couple of years ago and promptly deleted it. Sounds like something Dave Barry would come up with, though.

(sob -- my lack of originality has been painfully exposed for everymonkey to see.)

So I'm guessing naming the kid dong_resin is right out, huh?

You guys are creeping me out - so far, me and MissusFes have "Beckett James" in the frontrunning. Just so long as he doesn't end up being called "BJ", at which point I will have to sell him to white slavers from Dubai.

Sorry I've been gone a bit. First, Romakimmy: it is an indictment of the entire country of Italy that you have not had a veritable phalanx of suitors lined up outside your home with but a single purpose - to conduct the modern equivalent of a neanderthal head-bashing and lair-away-to-dragging. The idjit-tery of my fellows never ceases to amaze me. Also: were you not supposed to post pictures of you and your sister recently. I feel like I would have remembered that, even fuddled by estrogen, free methane and Palmer's Cocoa Butter fumes.

Whatnot: thanks for the poll? I gleaned from it runners' up names Julian, Luther and Porter.

Salmonberry: agree, no Gaelic. Get a box from me yet? And, like the Highlander, there can be only one dong_resin. I would - I could - never presume.

Notsnot: dude, what kind of nut trees do you have in your yard, anyway?

Ufez: true story: friends had a baby, I asked the name: "Dylan Thomas..." they replied. Me: "Nice! After the poet?" Them: "Poet?" Gah.

Kaf: S'ok on the disk; a man needs coasters too, right? :D

And to everyone, thank you all very much, for the well-wishes and the name-ideas. Although Palsied Apple Coolidge is, like Adolph, right out, sorry Vidiot. Don't feel bad, Sassafras and Rufus are similarly not happening.

The name game: Just do what my parents did with me and their parents so forth, name the kid after an "uncle/aunt" to be whom was also named after their uncle/aunt. Plus you get to have one of your siblings name a son/daughter after thee, if the tradition marches on in your name w/o the added jr. Then too at large family gatherings you get your own table named to you":The Thoms' table party of 4. I did have the privilege of doing this once which was cool seeing all three thoms I'm named after.

While we were out walking the mutts just now, I was explaining to Mr. Tizzie about our efforts to Name Baby Fes. His suggestion was "Byron."

Quite elegant, I think.

Fes, luv, 'tis not a lack of caveman sensibilities here, but a lack of housing. More precisely, a lack of housing for males under 35 years and consequently still live with the entire extended family. I ain't adverse to the occasional shennanigins in the back seat of a car, but when the choice is either that or my place every night...feh.

You mean you never got the nudie pics beseetching you not to leave the Blue i emailed you? Uh-oh...

Jokes aside, pics will be posted as soon as my sis sends me my copies, never fear (couldn't use the snazzy Nikon from work as the boss had it and my camera is busted.)

Kimmy, do I need to ship my Impala over there and buy a place (and some tight jeans), and show those italian boys how to woo American wimmen? In exchange for being taught how to speak dirty in Italian, of course.

I need to stop PUI. Really I do.

I think we could all cut down on Picking Up Invalids.

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