I think the worst gift you could give would be a honey-baked ham, to Miguel.
Sorry, Migsy!
Posted by: Crash on December 11, 2003 01:55 AM*gives Miguel a trip to the MeTa woodshed instead*
Posted by: filmgoerjuan on December 11, 2003 02:47 AMThe worst: A pair of underwear that plays "Barbie Girl" by Aqua every time you move.
Not the worst: The Metallica vs. Napster playset.
Posted by: arto on December 11, 2003 02:58 AM
on preview: The "Drop off a log, bring one back" rule *must* be obeyed.
Posted by: arto on December 11, 2003 02:58 AMA dozen pairs of full-cut white cotton granny undies to Britney or Romakimmy.
Posted by: tizzie on December 11, 2003 12:39 PMWill the hula hoop expedite this baby thing? 'Cause I'm interested!
Posted by: readymade on December 11, 2003 12:50 PMIs this the year I get my own midget? Huh? Is it?
Posted by: dong resin on December 11, 2003 12:51 PMIt would readymade, if you.. uh...
Frankly, I don't want to type out the visual here.
You know... in like a contact lens, only... y'know... downstairs.
Posted by: dong resin on December 11, 2003 12:54 PMAhhhh! Ahhhhhh! Still haven't drunk my pretend-caffeine yet...too many visuals...hurts brain...collapsing....
That's it. I'm going back to bed so I can return to my own nightmares.
Posted by: readymade on December 11, 2003 12:58 PMParticularly apropos:
I hate you. Here's 5 lbs. of popcorn.
Posted by: kaf on December 11, 2003 02:26 PMActually, hula-hooping is how my sister got her waistline back after she had my niece. She'd hula hoop while studying - it both kept her awake and firmed the abs!
Posted by: notsnot on December 11, 2003 05:14 PMReally? That's pretty excellent advice, man of little snot. Or man who isn't a snot. Or isn't snotty.
Well, anyway, that's fabulous advice...better than dong's dubious recommendation certainly!
Posted by: readymade on December 11, 2003 11:12 PMHey, I try. She went from being built like a female rugby player pre-pregnancy to being looking like, well, to quote my bro-in-law (to get me back for all the times I've mentioned that I fucked *his* sister a few years ago), like a Slavic J-Lo.
Posted by: notsnot on December 12, 2003 12:41 AMIs everybody out shopping? Having the departmental Xmas lunch? Ringing the Salvation Army bell???
It's awful damn quiet in here.
Posted by: tizzie on December 12, 2003 01:54 PMI'm here, kentucy woman (she get's to know you).
I'm pretending to work (I just entered data on an Italian Mandolin Orchestra, reading the liner notes was liking spending a weekend with my grandparents) and eating a Twix bar.
After work, I'm getting a haircut. Any ideas for a new style? I am famously grooming impaired, as we all know.
Posted by: jonmc on December 12, 2003 02:17 PMI've been fixing people's computers to get together some holiday cash, so I've been a bit busy for an unemployed guy.
Posted by: tj on December 12, 2003 02:56 PMtj, at various times when I was an unemployed guy (gal), I had an errand running service, a gardening service, and a ghost writing service. I called the ghost writing service "Sincerely Yours" and I spent a lot of time writing personals ads for men who didn't know how to describe themselves.
Not coincidentally, some of them were indescribable.
So I'm all about the feelance opportunities.
Posted by: tizzie on December 12, 2003 03:04 PMA dozen pairs of full-cut white cotton granny undies to Britney or Romakimmy.
Gah. That's almost as bad as control top pantyhose.
Boxed rosè wine and Velveeta for Migs.
Posted by: romakimmy on December 12, 2003 04:47 PMjonmc, after giving this a lot of thought - no crewcut.
In Kentucky, most barbers only know the crewcut and one other cut, that sort of looks like a boy about to make his first communion. Probably in the big city they know more, though.
Posted by: tizzie on December 12, 2003 04:50 PMOrgan grinders. For all of you.
On second thought, a good organ grind*ing may be just the thing some of us need. ;)
Posted by: notsnot on December 12, 2003 06:31 PMWhat's wrong with you people? No one's mentioned fruitcake yet.
Posted by: b*nn*f*re on December 12, 2003 07:47 PMWhat's wrong with you people? No one's mentioned fruitcake yet.
Posted by: b*nn*f*re on December 12, 2003 07:47 PMPreparation H for all.
The ointment or the suppositories? *perk*
Posted by: tizzie on December 12, 2003 08:57 PMA lil' Prep H rubdown will get that scrotum looking like a wet tee shirt contest toot sweet, eyeball, and without all the surgery.
Like pulling the drawing on the sack of kickballs in gym class it is.
Ah, but how would a wrinkle-less scrotum play south of the border?
Posted by: Miguel on December 14, 2003 06:45 PMHonestly, if it didn't look kinda like a brain, I wouldn't let it do my decision-making nearly as often, that's for sure.
Posted by: Fes on December 15, 2003 12:05 AMHow *would* a wrinkle-less scrotum play "South of the Border"? Presumably, wind instruments are out. You could gently strum an autoharp or something, I suppose...
Posted by: arto on December 15, 2003 04:33 AMA sublime, green day, blink 182, no doubt, they might be giants, yellowcard, coheed and cambria, or simple plan cd.
Posted by: Alex on December 18, 2004 01:42 AMA note about posting images:
We encourage users to post images, especially those hilarous pics of monkeys
wearing dresses or programming for Linux. But posting images that reside on someone
else's server is considered by many to be bandwidth theft. Our thoughts
on the matter, along with some solutions to the problem, can be found
here. Thanks.
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