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Beautiful! You make a fabulous Madonna, Readymom.

Agreed, but what's with the chorus of Chicos?

That's ma husband, who at first blush looks a bit like Chico with that bald pate and good Commie-intellectual eyeglasses. But I assure you, there was no funny business with Chico.

Unless someone spiked my drink while I was in NY last spring.

Jeez, you all's jammie tab must be monstrous.

Question: Readymade, why is it that we unbelievers are the ones who tart up the house and pitch the tree, while the Monkeys of the Book 'round here are all Scroogies.

Merry Christmas, my friends, Scroogies or not :)

"...and it was always said of him, that he knew how to keep Christmas well, if any man alive possessed the knowledge. May that be truly said of us, and all of us!" --Charles Dickens

That's truly sweet, readymade - thank you! What was your inspiration? Was it Martin Beck? Come on, own up! :)

Call off your minions, Moby, you're too late. The kid was delicious.

I'm sorry readymade - the roofies took a lot longer to kick in that night than I thought. Once the sailors got all let's-play-officer-and-gentleman on you, I thought the jig was up. But hey, it all worked out. Right? Right?

Anyway. I admire your constitution. And may I say, that shot is appropriately worshipful of thy divine grace.

Though that's obviously not me. Look at the facial hair. (That is a goatee of some kind, right?) That makes him the evil twin. And you, my fertile friend, are carrying his spawn! (Awright!)

Miguel--the inspiration was actually that our house was being painted, and the primer was so blisteringly white that we thought it would be funny if we took photos of little angelic scenes. One thing led to another...*poof* Holy Mother of the Readymades.

As to the evil twin, I'm so confused! Is this like the Spock/evil-Spock episode of Star Trek? And which one is the right one? Or, more importantly, who's the father? Hope me, administrator!

Possibly officers. We're not sure about the "gentlemen."

The ships are "in", so to speak.

And on another "Oh, the monkeys will love this" note: my little 72-year-old 98-lb-soaking wet mother had her nail scissors confiscated on the way to Seattle to see my brother for Xmas, thus making the world safer for democracy.

Her opinion of the security guard? Quote: "I just wanted to call him a fucker." Unquote.

I had to advise this senior El Quaida member to behave better, since I would not swim over to Guantanamo to save her if she kicked 'em in the nuts when they took her copy of the Anarchists Cookbook on the way home.

Hey, and don't forget Lupo's jump into the icy cold waters of the Atlantic for charity. I'd make a link but lately my links don't work - anyway, I just sent my hard-earned cash and you should, too!

www.blogfucker.com

Can anybody tell me where I might pick up some phentermine? I don't know why, but I have this overwhelming urge to get some.

Hell, I don't even what it is.

Merry (late) Christmas, monkeys! Blessings on us all.

Her opinion of the security guard? Quote: "I just wanted to call him a fucker." Unquote.

MUAHAHAHA! I hereby nominate Tizzie's mom as honorary monkey queen-mum, in perpetuity, ad hoc, ad infinitum, in toto, quid pro quo.

For, unto us, a monkey-child is born!

readymade looks so beatific. (oh, how we all *know* better.)

tizzie, just *what* was your mother *doing* with the nail scissors, hmmm? Subverting democracy, obvs.

[I interrupt your regular thread to bring you part 7 of my ongoing "Move to Portugal!" campaign, specially important for those who might fear an excessive Catholic heritage.] :)

These comment spammers are pissing me off. The giant HGH-headed jittery wood-sporters must be stopped. Doesn't anyone know how to hack their site to screw with them? I'm an urban lumberjack, so all's I can do is drop a tree on their perversely overgrown boners.

I got a couple mongol-biker-looking brothers that will do just about anything for $200. You get an address, maybe we send them over to visit...?

9622.net: Call off your minions, Moby, you're too late. The kid was delicious.

hey everybody!

who was that masked woman?

Grainne! Hey yourself! We miss ya round here. Are you well?

in answer to tizzie's question and in the 'back to me category':
i survived about 35 bottles of wine with my immediate family. my mother and father kissed for the first time in 6 years, and i'm procrastinating writing an essay for law school about the different ways in which i am intelligent.

for some reason i've spent the better part of the morning reading old metatalk threads, from what i consider our glory days, and then i realized how much i miss you all, so i thought i'd top by.

and readymade, you're really a vision of the beautiful mom-to-be.

Actually, me and pips have discovered who chico's (and thus mr. readymade's) real doppleganger. It's gotten to the point that whenever we see him on TV, we shout "Tony!"

Also, Christmas makes 2 sober months for me. Which of course means more booze left over for you guys. Woo-Hoo, either way.

I'm not exactly sure that Mr. Shaeffer swings my direction, so I don't think the kid is a Letterman love spawn. Although I did walk by the studio while I was in NY, so you never know!

And really, why no visits, sweet Grainne? See, it's more like "Here I'm Not Typing." This needs to change. Welcome back, however fleeting!

Also, maybe Tizzie can hunt ya up some of this stuff. But be careful or the revenooers'll getcha.

You don't want to be drinkin' that bad moonshine. It'll give you the jakeleg.

there is no good reason for the lack of visits, except that my work is no work, and so does not condone me not working. there's nothing to goof off from so i feel perpetually guilty when i'm playing.

Damn! now you've got me googling for a really great magazine article about the jakeleg that I read a few weeks ago. Can't remember where I read it, unfortunately, and I'm not finding it.

In other news, my boss just informed me that he's changing my schedule for Wednesday. I was scheduled to work noon-8p. Now I have to work from 4:30p-12:30a. Not very nice to do to someone two days before New Year's Eve. Especially when I had plans. (Not big plans, but plans nonetheless.)

Remember me while y'all celebrate.

I read that article too, Vidiot - can't remember where.

I do remember when I first heard the term though. I needed a shed torn down once, and I wasn't sure who to hire to do it. I asked this old fellow in the neighborhood, and he suggested that I go to the corner bar about 10:30 in the morning, walk in and say "Any you guys got a pick-up truck?" and I'd find me an old jakeleg boy that'd do it for 20 bucks.

And I sure did. Man took that shed down, hauled it away and went home happy, with my 20 in his pocket.

There was a long piece about jakeleg by Dan Baum in the New Yorker (Sept. 15), pdf-able from here.

A Happy New Year's to all. If I can think that evening, I shall think of Vidiot

I've heard home-bums in suits referred to as 'jakey's', too. Are the two terms related?

Damn you Lou Dobbs!

I'll think of you vidiot, ceptn' for those special few minutes to myself when I'll be thinking of Lou Dobbs.

Remember me while y'all celebrate.
...that is a shame Vidot. Because everywhere you'll go, you'll be chasing everyone's spirit, maybe never equaling their buzz too...unless your boss allows drinking at work. Heh: Worked my share of "christian jubilations, a no alcohol *wink wink* family event also being a very dreaded event for most employees that “had” to work it. The common shift being 7pm to 2:30am, which sucked as no liquor sales after 2am.

At this event the same question was always asked. This usually came in a loud & running form; customer hurrying a long while panicky looking everywhere. Upon seeing a worker: please point me to the toilets then while looking back: do you sell gum or breathe mints here?
Remembers a coworker, bless her heart, stashing various drinks around our stock room during this event. While retrieving merchandise in the stock room: you rewarded yourself with a fine "spirit swig"; cola/rum, vodka/tonic & kool-aid/everclear also recall champagne (don’t know how we hid that with its loud opening, “THORK”).
W/o that it would have been hell as a lot of the customers besides being intoxicated were too obnoxious for some reason…hmmm: "christian jubilation"[not bashing being one, just the honest truth]. But will say had many great times as the nights were slow and all the coworkers in the shop were able to catch up with each other’s lives. Making the best out of it made the shift go bye well.

Thanks liam, that is indeed the article I was thinking of.

And truth be told, a couple of years ago a few of us working Y2K New Year's Eve were passing around a bottle of Freixenet in the parking lot before heading in to work at 10pm...made me feel like I was in high school all over again.

...also(w/o searching, pinch me:P)Readymade how much longer do you have to carry that "fine high riding fanny pack", your due date? cheers!

Wow, cool photo, readymade.

Thanks, Adam! And Mr. Catspike, he's due in a couple of weeks.

If you all want to gamble on these odds, go to my journal and play "guess the due date!" Go ahead. Give me something to think about other than bitching about my ominously large tum.

Jesus, can time fly so quickly? I feel like it was only yesterday the little one was just a sperm in your husband's--well, that's a conversation best left to martini time.

Ha! I was wondering where you were! Hope all is well down in the Southland (aside from those dreadful fires you guys had...) and that you're gradual degree is coming along nicely. Not gradually.

I get wistful when I think about the Tile Bar and sailors. Cheers, witchy! Would that I could raise another Bud with you.

Wow, witchstone made an appearance...{waves west}

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