It's time to think about the ones you love. So here goes:
Happy Valentine's Day.
(made with this, in case you want to make your own.)
Posted by Vidiot at February 14, 2004 01:20 PMOnes you never see:
>that was lousy can we try again later.
>heh, that was great...a smoke.
>whoa you're big, slow down...harder.
Yea, too wordy:P
Posted by: thomcatspike on February 14, 2004 02:06 PM
Oh man, do I want to do a pre-ghost Scrooge all over this alleged holiday...
Not Safe For Wendell
Still, why doesn't that heartmaker offer a background in MeFi blue?
Like New Years, I like to spend V-day with paper bag over my head (it's safer) but that don't mean I ain't sincere when I wish you all -the all alones and the altogethers (and those of ether camp in the altogether)a happy Valentines day.
Posted by: towerbrave on February 14, 2004 07:22 PMWendell, in IE5.5 your text ads float over whatever it is I'm meant to be reading.
- also
Posted by: dong resin on February 14, 2004 07:46 PMWell, I have to let loose.
Since last night, my wife and I have had the most wonderful time, dining, lunching and dining out again; making love; exchanging all sorts of love letters, flowers and hand-made cards.
Just twenty minutes ago, we arrived back after a wonderful supper (langoustines, Champagne, fresh shrimp. lobster, clams) and, at the very last minute, because "The Girl From ipanema" was playing and I mentioned I'd met her at a dinner party (she's 65) in Ipanema and she was a gigantic bore, a horrible wonan, my wife convinced herself I'd had an affair with her.
So now she's crying in the bedroom and I'm fuming about the injustice of life. How can a bad quarter-of-an-hour ruin 48 hours of perfect bliss?
In the next life, I'm coming back gay.
Posted by: Miguel on February 14, 2004 08:48 PMAnd with a bit of luck, I'll still be in time to catch the youngish ColdChef while he's still interested. ;)
Posted by: Miguel on February 14, 2004 08:51 PMMiguel! Oh, dear. I think she may still come to her senses and kiss you goodnight. I'll wish for it, anyway.
Vidiot, I can only say - Best. Candy. Heart. Ever.
But dong_resin's comes in a close second.
Posted by: tizzie on February 14, 2004 09:22 PMJust twenty minutes ago, we arrived back after a wonderful supper (langoustines, Champagne, fresh shrimp. lobster, clams)...
What exactly are langostinos? They're always in cheap dishes at seafood restaurants. I betcha it's foreign for "barnacles."
Posted by: jonmc on February 14, 2004 09:28 PMJealous women take a strong man to understand us...er, I mean...them. Patience and love. And a cup of tea.
Valentine's brings out the worst in everyone.
With a colossal, eye-wateringly gassy wife and a kid with the flu (why is it, exactly, that children under 6 can seemingly vomit casually, at will, and with absolutely no warning?), Valentine's Day was less about love and more about some truly remarkable points of biology. But I managed to sneak away this past week for an itty-bitty diamond necklace and a somewhat larger bunch of tulips and for the missus, plus a stuffed bunny and a Bob the Builder video for the amazing Vomito the Human Fountain. Put 'em all to bed, and am now rewarding myself for my perspicacity and thoughtfullness with a nice gimlet :)
Posted by: Fes on February 14, 2004 11:51 PM9622.net: With a colossal, eye-wateringly gassy wife.
Sadly, a bad Valentine's Day for individual monkeys, but it's been fucking gangbusters for slogans.
Posted by: dong resin on February 15, 2004 12:47 AMmrs. jonmc is on the medical fritz as well at the moment, sitting on the couch watching late nite TV on an Afrin jag. I did manage to procure her an antique silver butterfly brooch in a boutique on 9th street, that she loved. If she's feeling better perhaps tommorow we'll gallavant around Gotham.
Posted by: jonmc on February 15, 2004 02:08 AMLangoustines, also known as Dublin Bay prawns, are like small pink lobsters, but the flavour is more delicate and delicious. They're nothing like freshwater crawfish and cost (are you ready, Jon?) $125 for a kilo. They're also very rare.
What you find in cheap seafood joints is fake langoustine, often called "scampi", generally made of processed hunks of various dubious fish.
Posted by: Miguel on February 15, 2004 05:40 AM9622:generally made of processed hunks of various dubious fish.
Posted by: ana on February 15, 2004 08:25 AMThe Valentine's thread seems about a good a place as any for this type of announcement, so...here goes:
Mrs. ColdChef is laden with child! We're expecting a chimp of our own in the middle of the summer!
I weep for my lost youth.
Posted by: ColdChef on February 15, 2004 12:25 PMI ain't claiming pappaship until I see some damn DNA tests.
Curse her oily round hide.
Posted by: ColdChef on February 15, 2004 12:26 PMPoppa ColdChef!! Yahoo!!
If the kid ain't yours you're perfectly welcome to adopt me...
Posted by: jonmc on February 15, 2004 12:29 PMI bought my husband Pamper's for VD, and myself a new shirt that reads "Open 24 Hours" in honor of my boobs. My husband bought me Thai food, and we took turns eating and entertaining the wee one. Then we split a dessert, which I fed to him as the boy slept on his chest.
It was good.
(Upon reading this back, my husband doesn't actually wear the Pamper's...just thought I'd clarify)
Posted by: readymade on February 15, 2004 12:31 PMHoly zygote, Batman! That's some great news!
What the hell is in the monkey water these days? We's some seriously fertile chimps...What with Fester and me and now the Chef, we could have a great Little League. Our monkeys will win every time because the other team will flee the hail of poo-flinging. It'll be great--they won't even have to be good at baseball!
Posted by: readymade on February 15, 2004 12:35 PMI bought my husband Pamper's for VD
They have special pampers for venereal disease now?
Posted by: jonmc on February 15, 2004 01:05 PMWell, considering original plans were for a small group of us single types to drunkenly abuse passing couples with small projectiles, I was plesantly surprised by other circumstances which erm, arose, as it were.
The pulled thigh muscle was so worth it, though I must admit to a small degree of trepidation; does posting on 9622 have an adverse affect on prophylactics in general or just those of the very attached/married persuasion?
Posted by: romakimmy on February 15, 2004 01:30 PMCongratulations, GJ! That's great news.
We're not Valentine's Day celebrators, me and the wife. We just glared at each other over dinner a little less harshly than the other 364 days of the year. And left one of the electrodes off.
Posted by: kaf on February 15, 2004 02:00 PMPapa Chef! Don't deep fry that turkey, it's the bay-bee!
Congratulations, you ole devil, you.
Posted by: tizzie on February 15, 2004 02:00 PMyou pulled your thigh *during* sex? Yeesh, I'd hate to be your neighbors.
Posted by: notsnot on February 15, 2004 02:15 PMFor this Valentine's Day, I've decided to give up on the opposite sex for good. And the non-opposite sex, too, for that matter.
If you need me, I'll be bitterly playing Zelda.
Posted by: kaibutsu on February 15, 2004 02:51 PMTo Cold Chef & wife, that is.
It'd be so much easier for me most days if you'd all just take the time to receive my thoughts mentally.
Posted by: dong resin on February 15, 2004 04:06 PMMany excellent thoughts from my direction as well, ColdChef. Don't worry, you'll get some sleep after a few years!
Posted by: language hat on February 15, 2004 04:30 PMGreat news, ColdChef. Is Ms. Chef sure it's hers?
Valentine's Day was less about love and more about some truly remarkable points of biology.
Can't it be about both?
errr...I meant that my Valentine's Day was disgustingly happy. (There's a first time for everything.) Stayed in all day, didn't leave the house till it was almost time for our dinner reservations at a nice little place down the street. Our behavior at dinner had our fellow patrons reaching for insulin injections.
Best of all was the mysterious-sounding special dessert, the "Love Plate" for two. It ended up being two small bittersweet chocolate cakes, two scoops of raspberry sorbet, and one of those rolled-up wafer thingies with an inverted raspberry perched atop it. One look, and you could tell why it was the "love plate." Of all the times not to have my camphone...
does posting on 9622 have an adverse affect on prophylactics in general?
God, I hope not.
Posted by: Vidiot on February 15, 2004 04:45 PMa hundredfold congratulations, coldchefs (mr and mrs)!
Posted by: Marquis on February 15, 2004 05:08 PMIt'd be so much easier for me most days if you'd all just take the time to receive my thoughts mentally.
*shudder*
No thanks, hon.
Posted by: tizzie on February 15, 2004 05:39 PMCongrats to Mr and Missus Coldchef!
Here valentine's day was mostly celebrated by the youngest daughter and her boyfriend. Their romantic carriage ride downtown got rained out...but he gave her a small stuffed GORILLA.I knew I liked that boy.
As for me and the mister, we have valentine's day 365 days a year...his birthday is TODAY(day after v-day) so I made him a chocolate birthday cake from scratch. We managed not to burn down the house with the candles.
Posted by: b*nn*f*re on February 15, 2004 09:43 PMCongratulations, ColdChefs! I guess that means that you will both soon be hearing the paté of tiny little feet ...
Posted by: carter on February 15, 2004 10:15 PMIt'd be so much easier for me most days if you'd all just take the time to receive my thoughts mentally.
Is there a rectal option?
Also : Congrats, cC, you fool.
Also, also : Little known Korean fact of the day - those canny (read : Satanic) marketers in Korea have convinced the populace that there should be two count 'em two Valentine's, the second of which is called 'White Day' for some fucking reason, a month later. On St Val's, wimmen gives the menfolks stuff like chocolate and flowers and blowjobs (hah! not fucking likely in this country), and on White Day, it's reversed. Double yer pleasure, double yer revenue. It's all made-up anyway, so why not?
This post has been brought to you by Hyundai Heavy Industries™.
I'm not sure I said 'fuck' enough in that last post, so here's another :
fuck!
Posted by: stavrosthewonderchicken on February 15, 2004 10:34 PMReading it back, "ColdChef and wife" seems a little frosty.
I meant, of course, ColdChef and Chain ball.
Posted by: dong resin on February 15, 2004 11:36 PMYou know, 'cause it'd be cool to say 'I take my dong resin rectally!' if someone asked.
Well, maybe not cool, exactly. Still.
Posted by: stavrosthewondergoatse on February 16, 2004 02:16 AMYeesh, I'd hate to be your neighbors.
The pay-per-view rights seem to keep them happy.
Posted by: romakimmy on February 16, 2004 06:49 AMWhat with the conjunction of Valentine's Day and Mefi being on the rack, nine months from this weekend there ought to be a whole new generation born. Mark my words.
Posted by: tizzie on February 16, 2004 08:07 AMDammit, stop jinxing my contraceptives!
Just teasing. I know you dear monkeys are not sitting around poking holes in a voodoo condom marked 'romakimmy'.
Right?
Posted by: romakimmy on February 16, 2004 09:07 AMVoodoo condoms! w00t! Great evil idea there, romakimmy. I'll apply for a patent immediately.
Posted by: tizzie on February 16, 2004 09:38 AMWhat with the conjunction of Valentine's Day and Mefi being on the rack, nine months from this weekend there ought to be a whole new generation born. Mark my words.
Oh, tizzie, you're breaking our hearts here: surely, MeFi is something you do after sex, mot before and surely not instead of... :(
Posted by: Miguel on February 16, 2004 09:41 AMSometimes a community blog is just a community blog, Miguel.
Posted by: Vidiot on February 16, 2004 10:01 AMAs for me and the mister, we have valentine's day 365 days a year...his birthday is TODAY(day after v-day)
Heh. My mom's birthday IS valentine's day, which was a real blessing back during my long single years, but is kind of a pain now. But I called her and she told me that the students at her catholic school love the boxing nun puppet we got her for christmas.
Posted by: jonmc on February 16, 2004 12:08 PMMeFi is something you do after sex, mot before and surely not instead of...
And I'll bet that mot before sex is bon, you erreur-prone Freudian devil.
Compliments to the chef on the bun.
Posted by: liam on February 16, 2004 12:08 PMMy mom's birthday IS valentine's day
My sweetheart's birthday is on Valentine's Day, which means that I haven't actually gotten any kind of gift or card or flowers for ... oh, lets see ... ::counts:: 11 years now. However, we did have an awful dinner at a new Italian place where the waiter dumped a pitcher of water on my sweetheart. Also, we went bowling and had $5.00 stolen from us by some white-trash six year olds while we were playing pool as we waited for a lane. And then when we got home sweetheart set the toaster oven on fire trying to make me a grilled cheese sandwich.
A good time had by all, despite (or perhaps because of) the String Of Unpleasantness.
Posted by: anastasiav on February 16, 2004 12:52 PMPretty impressive, anastasiav! All you need is to get athlete's foot from the bowling shoes... strike!
Posted by: tizzie on February 16, 2004 01:42 PMWeeeell, happy belated VDay everyone. I wanted to make this its own thread but darnit I have forgotten my password and I have Evil Dead cued on the picture box as we speak, so I'ma make this sweet and quick.
Congratulations, Fes! Welcome to the world, BabyFes.v2, Johannes Beckett, weighing in at 7 pounds, mumble mumble ounces. The little one's doing peachy, his older brother is absolutely entranced, and Missus Fes has a *lot* less gas, from what I've heard.
Posted by: cowboy_sally on February 16, 2004 05:14 PMAnastasiav (and Migs and Wendell): Thanks for making me feel glad to be single.
*strings swell in background, a voice starts singing "Born Free"*
Congratulations Fes!
My goodness! Babies, babies everywhere, no one will sleep a wink!
*beams congratulations in the direction of Saint Looie*
Great news.
Posted by: Vidiot on February 16, 2004 06:56 PMWhoa. Baby central. (I hope that's not catching.)
Congrats Fes & ColdChef and the respective missuses. (is that a word? it's been a long day.)
Posted by: aine42 on February 16, 2004 07:02 PMBig, fat congrats ColdChef.
Hi everyone else. I missed you.
Posted by: brittney on February 16, 2004 07:42 PMCongratulations Fez!
Dang, you guys are reproducing like.....bunnies!
I probably shouldn't remind you that you only have about 13 years before you have a teenager in the house.
Dang, there's a lotta birthin' goin on around here! Congrats, poppa unca fes! Maybe me and pips will unleash a mini-mc on the world if this keeps up. Although, I dunno if the world could handle that..
Posted by: jonmc on February 16, 2004 08:32 PMMazel tov to all the Fes family! I wish you every happiness and good fortune all the days of your lives.
Posted by: tizzie on February 16, 2004 09:07 PMWell done, dear Fes and Mrs. Fes!
I hope this thread will still be available when the two tikes are old enough to come and see how much they were wanted and warmly welcomed by their parents and their friends!
:) :) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;)
Smileys all round!
Posted by: Miguel on February 16, 2004 10:04 PMCongrats, Papa Fes! Teach the young'un the way of haiku.
Posted by: kaf on February 16, 2004 10:26 PMI get me some tail,
And I use a damn condom.
No one gives a shit.
But Fes and Coldchef,
Get laid sans a willie-wrap,
They get all the props.
(Seriously, congrats dudes!)
Posted by: Cyrano on February 17, 2004 12:29 AMOh, Fes, you've bred!
Congratulations to the little monkey munchkin and his most excellent parents!
Posted by: Chico on February 17, 2004 09:55 AMCongratulations! CC & Fes. Add: Readymade too. (my LJ account was not properly set to post in your blog)
...*Cheers ALL!*
Woo hoo! Birthin'! Congrats to you!
The rest of you need to pick up a little slack on the whole child rearing thing, because I can assure you that one is enough for me.
Posted by: adampsyche on February 17, 2004 04:48 PMCongrats to the Festah and ColdChef and the missuses.
And I'll get right on that, adam, just as soon as I get over being dumped, found out that I was being cheated on (with one of my best friends), find someone new, learn to trust again, and get married.
Could take at least three or four months.
I'm afraid that my misanthropism and dystopian ideals are nearing dongish levels.
Happy Fucking Valentine's Day indeed.
Posted by: ufez on February 17, 2004 05:04 PM9622.net: misanthropism and dystopian ideals are nearing dongish levels.
Posted by: Cyrano on February 17, 2004 05:24 PMOh, ufez, dude, I'm sorry.
Hey, there's a meetup in these parts next weekend.
Airfare's cheap, pal, and accommodation's free. Bring your sorrows. Your friends'll drown 'em before your very eyes while you wait.
Posted by: Chico on February 17, 2004 05:36 PMIt's cool. If I can joke about it, then things must be getting some better.
And I've already done the get smashed, yell at your cell-phone (hell hath no fury like a drunken monkey scorned), and then break down crying in front of a friend, his roommate, and six strangers thing.
I told Cyrano that Houston was an evil, vile place. It only took her two weeks there to turn her into a bitchy, backstabbing ex.
Sorry to taint an otherwise quite happy thread. Quite pleased for all the procreation and whatnot around here.
Posted by: ufez on February 17, 2004 05:50 PMmy misanthropism and dystopian ideals are nearing dongish levels.
But still short of Wendellism...
Posted by: wendell on February 17, 2004 08:42 PMufez: ouch. There's something intrinsically unfair about your life becoming a country song lyric. But, chin up, kid, this too shall pass.
My advice: find a chick who looks just like her, do her and then dump her. Now where did I hear that...
Posted by: jonmc on February 17, 2004 08:50 PMI told Cyrano that Houston was an evil, vile place. It only took her two weeks there to turn her into a bitchy, backstabbing ex.
We're not *all* evil. I'm only mostly evil (although we are all sorta bitter about getting dissed throughout the entire Superbowl festivities. It was a clear blue sky and in the 70's today. Take that you snowbound motherfuckers!)
(And while I realize you have no reason to ever grace the city limits again [I can't go to Galveston for similar reasons] if you ever do end up here [taxi ride gone horribly wrong, 'fer instance] you have a place to crash and a tour guide [assuming you're down with the dive bar circuit...if you're a clubby-type person, I can't help you.])
Ufez, that's outrageous. You are a prince among men, and she wasn't fit to tie your shoe. If I ever see her in a dark alley, she's toast.
Hell hath no fury like me when somebody hurts my friend, and that's the truth.
Posted by: tizzie on February 17, 2004 09:22 PMTry to look on the bright side, Ufez :
Eventually, everyone gets cancer.
congrats to those with the baby news.
and a pox on ufez's bitchy ex!
Posted by: tj on February 18, 2004 12:29 AMAw, shucks, folks. the last thing I wanted was a self-pity party, I've done enough of that on my own. Not that it's not appreciated, but the monkey site is for fun and games and escape...
appreciate it, but i'm good. now fling some poo, dammit!
Posted by: ufez on February 18, 2004 01:00 AMHeh. Somebody just found my site looking for Cardoso vinyl wallpaper. I'm picturing a room now, walls covered in Miguel-heads, all staring back at me with doleful eyes and enormous cigars... I may never be the same again.
Aw, shucks, folks. the last thing I wanted was a self-pity party
It's not self-pity if we pity you. See, it's like the difference between masturbation and sex.
Posted by: tizzie on February 18, 2004 08:51 AM9622.net: the difference between masturbation and sex
This really has been one hell of a thread for taglines.
Posted by: ufez on February 18, 2004 10:17 AMAw, shucks, folks. the last thing I wanted was a self-pity party
No problem. Is it to soon to start hitting on you, though? I mean, now that you're a single fella and all..... *growf*
AND congrats mini-monkey-makers etc etc etc....
Posted by: salmonberry on February 18, 2004 06:39 PMGood Lord. I leave ya'll alone for a couple of years and everyone goes and gets themselves impregnified.
Congrats, and happy late Valentines day from gloomy London.
Posted by: Optamystic on February 19, 2004 01:52 PMHmmm, do you hef zis picture offin, Herr arto?
Wot, zis picture?
Naw, I only used it once, I swear...
Zat would be zis picture.
(Curse you, O stripper of image tags! I asked for images of strippers playing tag! Listen closely, next time...)
Posted by: arto on February 20, 2004 04:06 AMA note about posting images:
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wearing dresses or programming for Linux. But posting images that reside on someone
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on the matter, along with some solutions to the problem, can be found
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