9622.net

Gee, Fes, and I thought our NYC meetups were fun.

You guys look out of control in that pic, dude.

I've never been a big zombie-movie guy, but your thesis has given me some historical context. Now I feel like I'd know where to start. Thanks, man.

Lordy, Fes. You almost make me want to go rent a veritable assload (brainpanload?) of zombie flicks.

Almost. I have yet to figure out my squickiness towards brains, yet can sit placidly through bloodbaths like Blade2 or From Dusk 'till Dawn. Mebbee 'cause Anne Rice doesn't write about no zombies...?

I can well appreciate your anticipation for a new film, though. Just.11.more.days.Argh.(selflink)

When I am emperor, all remakes of any kind will be banned.

oh, I dunno. Some remakes are better than the originals.

And for those of y'all in the States, USA network has a ten-minute preview of "Dawn of the Dead" tonight at 8p Eastern. Check, as they say, local listings.

Aw, come on jon. Remakes, even the really vile ones, at least generate some interest in the original for people who might otherwise have never heard of n/or bothered to look up said original.

*whistles "Always look on the bright side of life"*

I saw Night of the Living Dead at a heavily pot-fueled midnight showing in high school, and went back to sleep over at my girlfriend's house. We raided the fridge, and she grabbed a chicken leg and started munching.

All of a sudden, I looked over at her gnawing away on this bony leg and just freaked out.

Sudden onset of vegetarianism, take one!

*whistles "Always look on the bright side of life"*

Because, as we all know, 'The Passion of Mel Gibson' is really just a bad remake of 'Life of Brian.'

All remakes prove to me is that Hollywood has no original ideas left. All that gets made now are remakes, thinly veiled remakes, sequels, adaptations of bad TV shows and bad books.

I feel the same way about revivals of musical styles, all that neo-this and neo-that. Why would I wanna listen to Big Bad Voodoo Daddy when I can listen to Louis Prima or Benny Goodman? or Listen to some neo-rockabilly when I can listen to the originals? It's just another fad so's the hipsters can play dress-up.

This concludes the mornings dose of bile.

Oh, jon, don't make promises we all know you can't keep! Silly.

But if you wanna be emperor, go on, be emperor. Who am I to stop you? You could be a radiologist like your cousin Herman, but don't listen to me, if you wanna be emperor, go ahead, break your mother's heart, see if I care.

But. Think about this, jon.

If Emperor Jon I outlaws remakes, it'll cut Hollywood's movie output by three-quarters, and then all those whiny feely-liberal pseudo-activists are gonna have a lot more free time on their hands. Many of them will move back east. Into your neighborhood.

(Speaking of which, we're gonna be neigbors! I'll come over and we can talk about anti-corporatism and trees and bunnies and shit... it's gonna be sweet!)

Fully eighty percent of remade movies (or adapted movies, or for that matter movies in general) fall firmly into the Satan's-pecker-sucking category. (Or at the very least, they're uninspired. Gus van Sant, I'm looking at you.) But they can be good.

F'r instance:
"La Jetee" inspired "Twelve Monkeys";
Luhrmann's "Romeo + Juliet", while an acquired taste stylistically for some, was much more vital, and fun, and sad to me than Zeffirelli's 1968 weeper...falling in love is supposed to be fun, and it was nice to actually see it treated that way for once;
As much as I like Dino and Frank, "Ocean's Eleven" was way better than "Ocean's 11";
"Adaptation" was the most interesting book adaptation I've seen in a while.

That said, I'm not sure how the forthcoming Tom Hanks remake of "The Ladykillers" can hold a candle to the 1955 original with Alec Guinness and Peter Sellers. Even if the new one is a Coen flick.

Fully eighty percent of remade movies (or adapted movies, or for that matter movies in general) fall firmly into the Satan's-pecker-sucking category. (Or at the very least, they're uninspired. Gus van Sant, I'm looking at you.) But they can be good.

F'r instance:
"La Jetee" inspired "Twelve Monkeys";
Luhrmann's "Romeo + Juliet", while an acquired taste stylistically for some, was much more vital, and fun, and sad to me than Zeffirelli's 1968 weeper...falling in love is supposed to be fun, and it was nice to actually see it treated that way for once;
As much as I like Dino and Frank, "Ocean's Eleven" was way better than "Ocean's 11";
"Adaptation" was the most interesting book adaptation I've seen in a while.

That said, I'm not sure how the forthcoming Tom Hanks remake of "The Ladykillers" can hold a candle to the 1955 original with Alec Guinness and Peter Sellers. Even if the new one is a Coen flick.

Feck!

(And the original version of that comment had supporting links and such. But IE ate it. Dammit.)

In other film-related (sorta) items vis a vis regarding Ocean's Eleven. First, Vidiot? totally on the superiority of the Clooney vehicle over the Sinatra vehicle. The former was a classic caper movie on the grand scale. But most importantly - where can you get those extra-long cuff shirts that Brad Pitt wore throughout? (examples here here here and here). Does anyone even know what they're called? The only other place I've seen them was in a Prada ad in GQ. I posted the same question recently as a Curious George over at Monkeyfilter, and got one minimally helpful response, one not-so-minimally-helpful response, and five panty-moistenings for George Clooney (well, four for Clooney and one for Andy Garcia). Any ideas?

Tizzie: describe the freakout, please?

Romakimmy: I ever get to Rome, let's debate the relative merits of zombie movies vs. ballet movies over a few liters of bella vino, my tiny Queen?

I am a zombie movie fan myself, and was much heartened by 28 Days Later, which I thoroughly enjoyed.

As far as all remakes being bad, that's a pretty blanket statement, don't you think? For one, I thought The Ring was better than Ringu, surprisingly enough.

On the other hand, I cringe when I see upcoming remakes of The Singing Detective, or tripe like City of Angels.

I think it all depends on the vision and purpose of the filmmaker. A shot-for-shot remake of Psycho is not that interesting, but re-examining a subject from your own point of view, sure, that's worthwhile. I'm sure there's some Jonmc tirade somewhere about the wonders of cover songs, after all.

other good remakes:

Nosferatu, Phantom Der Nacht
Magnificent Seven
Fistful of Dollars, etc.
Invasion of the Body Snatchers

But to address the original question, maybe the new direction in zombie movies can be explained by the jadedness of moviegoers. You can only see classics like Zombie so many times, after all. 28 Days Later, it's true, is not a real zombie movie, but a plague-apocalypse movie.

The elements of body-horror are still there, though.

Fes, my sartorially splendid friend, I think those are just French cuffs that are not turned up.

Freaked out, as in grabbed the chicken leg out of her hand/mouth while letting loose a blood-curdling scream, "AIIEEEIE!! NO !! NO!!" opening up the back door and throwing the chicken as far as it could fly. Ah, the druggie years!

Incidentally, this was the link for Zombie, mentioned above, a Fulci movie that was one of my favorites when I was like, twelve. Scared the bejeezus out of me and had a wicked soundtrack. (Strangely enough, appears to be also called Zombie 2)

And I love post-apocalypse movies. I think they appeal to my post-Catholic school world-could-end-at-any-moment-at-god's-whim imagination.

And also, it would take me a lot less time to drive to Hollywood on a Friday night.

Until the highway becomes overgrown with kudzu and giant reptiles stretch out across several lanes to sunbathe.

The beauty of post-apocalyptic movies is the interior picking-over of the question of "What would I do if I survived [insert particular apocalypse]??"

Tizz, they can't be. French cuff shirts are heavily creased at the point of fold - I suppose one could iron them out to their full length, but if you didn't buy them specifically to do that the edge of the cuff would be at the knuckle, and no WAY would you get the kind of bracer-like stiffness from a pre-creased french cuff shirt, unless you had it done by a pro and starched to shit (theoretically speaking). And anyway, the Prada shirt belies that - there are buttons half-way up, I don't think those are cufflinks. ALthough admittedly, they are in the correct spot for what you are describing...

I just got a Tyrwhitt french cuff that's just a teeny bit to short at the wrist - thing I should have it pressed and see if it looks like this?

At the same time, look at the first sample pic: Pitt's arms are folded, but the edge of the cuff is right where it should be, just a tinch past the wrist. And in the second, nary a french cuff crease in sight on his wrist.

I just got a Tyrwhitt french cuff that's just a teeny bit to short at the wrist - thing I should have it pressed and see if it looks like this?

Fold it down to make sure it doesn't flare out at the bottom, and if it doesn't then have it starched and pressed out. The reason Mr. Pitt's hit just where he wants them to is that they are tailored, I'll bet.

As a child, never once did I ever think I'd reach a point where a night of bowling (one of the least strenuous pastimes known to man) would leave me still sore three days later. And I certainly wouldn't have envisioned it happening to me at age 33.

I'm old. I was a child for a while, then I became old. What the hell happened to the post-pubescent/pre-decrepitude years I was promised?

heh, I know that feeling jon. I went out about a week and a half ago and played foosball for like an hour and a half. I'm hoping I just slept on my arm funny that night too, but damn that shit hurt the next day. And I'm 24.

It's foosball karma, dude. Did you spin?

And incidentally, do you see what happens when McNally doesn't write in his blog anymore? Nonsensical bowling bitterness in a zombie thread!

kaf, I'd bet that would've happened anyway.

And we did push him pretty hard. We kept him on the chain, just heaving ball after ball down the alley, while Adam, Vidiot and I were fed grapes by vestal virgins, and Prince cooed and squeaked seductively in the background.

There was also wings. It's a very good bowling alley.

I wasn't sore the next day (and I'm 68), but I do have a splitting headache, which I'm guessing was from the beer-flavored tap water they were serving and the rice pudding Vidiot and his dad brought from downtown.

The rice pudding was excellent, by the way. I had some this morning, and I'm still fresh as a daisy. Thanks, Vid & Dad. Thanks to you guys, I had a balanced breakfast.

Things are... different in New York.

There was spinning, eventually, but it was after we had already had a few beers and everyone mutually agreed upon it.

I think a better game would be FesBall, which I would imagine to be kind of like CalvinBall but with Brooks Brothers brand masks and a nice chianti.

You don't know the half of it, Fes.

What chico dosen't mention is that this bowling alley was in Port Authority. Not in the neighborhood surrounding Port Authority, but inside the actual bus station itself.

Sounds like something out of a Tom Waits song:

It was in a bus station bowling alley/that I met a one-eyed hooker from Mill Valley/we bought some rubbing alcohol from a midget named O'Malley/and drank ourselves to sleep...

Foosball. Is that a euphamism? ;-P

Fes, tesoro, it goes without saying that if you ever grace Roma with your dazzling self, much wine and food shall be consumed while having discourses on zombie ballerinas and other such fripperies. 'Tis a standing offer.

'N that goes for the rest of y'all, too.

Assuming I can find a dirt cheap ticket, I *might* be heading back to Dallas come August, to flounce amongst the fattened cheerleaders and flirt with their husbands of my ten year high school reunion. You Dallas monkeys had best start preparing.

...much wine and food shall be consumed while having discourses on zombie ballerinas and other such fripperies. 'Tis a standing offer

I had a date with a zombie ballerina/her skin so green that it stung my eyes...

[walks in with french cuffed arms stretched out]
If the world was zombied I'd open up shop selling eye-drops.

Rule One: Any individual game of FesBall is terminated at the moment where all players cannot each comfortably play whilst holding a beverage. Play resumes when beverage comfortability is re-established.

if you ever grace Roma with your dazzling self, much wine and food shall be consumed while having discourses on zombie ballerinas and other such fripperies. 'Tis a standing offer.

Any dazzlement I might exhibit is mere affectation, and pales to near-oblivion in your alluring light as the moon is paled by the sun in eclipse, meine kleine liebchen.

I *might* be heading back to Dallas come August

*mentally disembowels Ufez, that lucky bastard, and newly single to boot*

You Dallas monkeys had best start preparing.

Step 1: clean wet spot that just appeared in pants.

There's another ballet-themed film coming out, romakimmy, but this one with extra sex. Unfortunately, the scene where the dancers bowl at zombies (to the music of Prince) was cut.

not only virgins feeding us grapes, but velcro shoes.

sam and jon

one of chico's many strikes

9622.net: Nonsensical bowling bitterness.

Speaking of which:

The other white meat is...PEOPLE!

That's freaky liam, because somebody kept playing "When Doves Cry" on the jukebox at the bowling alley over and over. As some of Chico's harem of female admirers got a wee bit inebriated, I caught a few of them doing that half assed dance thing that women do. I did not do anything of the sort since I am still unsullied by alcohol and because I am pure at heart.

On the subject of remakes, I'm going out on a limb and saying that the 1931 Maltese Falcon with Ricardo Cortez as Sam Spade is not quite as good as John Huston's 1941 rip-off. And I'll challenge anyone who disagrees to a bus-station bowl-off in tutus.

If god had meant you to do that half-assed dance thing, jon, he would have given Motorhead the gift of polyrhythms.

Dancing to Motorhead is easy because Motorhead are all rhythms. At the same time. Half an ass, all ass, no ass, ass of spades, don't matter. The door to The Rock is always open in Motorhead City.

That said, there was no Motorhead at the alley. Which was why we left. Also they were closing and we ran out of money. But still.

whats in your head?

Jon, you are, I am all too aware, neither female nor a member of my harem.

It just wasn't meant to be, I guess.

*mentally disembowels Ufez, that lucky bastard, and newly single to boot*
If he was a girl I'd date him, really Ufez is very charming in the flesh. He is one of the nicest guy that I have been pleasured to drink with while living in Dallas. Now if he was a zombie, I'd drink him.

"Charming in the flesh" is just not the right description for a zombie thread.

"Charming with long strands of torn flesh hanging from his bones and grey matter oozing down his chin" is more like it, right?

Speaking of remakes, today was my second MetaFilter birthday.

* enter crone, as scary music swells *

"Beware! Beware the Ides of March!"

* crone, et al, exeunt, music fades *

Shit, where did that come from?

You're quite welcome for the rice pudding. (How come your harem didn't want any?)

I introduced my dad to Men's Pocky and ramune soda tonight. It was shortly after we walked by Peanut Butter & Co and had a cup at 71 Irving. You'd have been proud, Jon.

By the way, we have pics of Chico and Jonmc bowling.

Killer post, Fes!
You'll be with me in spirit tomorrow night at the Luomo show.

really Ufez is very charming in the flesh. He is one of the nicest guy that I have been pleasured to drink with while living in Dallas.

Indeed! Met him when he came to St. Louis, he's a gentleman and a scholar, and I count myself fortunate to name him a friend. But I have a black, jealous, greedy heart, Thomcatspike.

Speaking of remakes, today was my second MetaFilter birthday.

Congrats!

Did you post something snotty?

You'll be with me in spirit tomorrow night at the Luomo show.

Oh. Oh, dude.

This is how I shall imagine it: flourescent light on arterial red upholstered couches against black walls. Baroque glassware shining in the hands of people dressed like the vampires in Blade. The Luomo so loud that it drowns out thought, let along speech. But that matters not, because no one is talking - the men preen and trade hooded glances, while the women undulate in slow motion as if the music is passing through them, rippling them like paper underwater. At the stage, bathed in crimson light, well-made people recreate koans of dance. At the back, jaded jacks with glittering lapels and angular jaws share bar-space with molls raising challenging, laughing eyes.

Email me, tell me how it went!

as an aside? I tried that Tizzie-inspired just-stretch-out-your-regular-french-cuffs thing. I think we may have a winner, here :D

also: did anyone watch the Dawn of the Dead preview that Vidiot mentioned??

I turned on the tv and anxiously awaited it - on the wrong damn channel. I'm thinkin' the SciFi channel made perfect sense, no? Duh.

Man, I haven't felt this much love since I defeated Jack La Lanne in a hummus snorting contest in '54.

That was you?

I had money on Lalanne, you bastard.

I'm a big fan of zombie movies. And I'm a big fan of Japanese gangster movies. Ladies and gentlemen, I present: Zombies Versus Yakuza.

(It wasn't all that good, but it's zombies and it's yakuza!)

Hmm. That was supposed to be this.

"AIIEEEIE!! NOT ... FRED!! "

"Auuuuuugggh ..... Elizabeth, I'm coming ... it's the big one this time..... auuuuuuuuuuuuggggghhhh ....... braiiiiinsss ..... here I come, aw Elizabeth ....."

Well, if Fred needs to eat brains, then at least that big dummy Lamont is safe.

You know I bet out there somewhere, some sick bastard writes Sanford and Son slash fic.

Yeah, but it's probably focused on the Fred/Grady relationship. Lotta smothered desire there if you ask me.

Perhaps an orgy scene involving Smitty & Hoppy would add a little spice to the proceedings as well.

*tries vainly to rub the Fred/Grady/Smitty/Hoppy image from retinae*

*idly considers letter opener, mumbles 'only if I have to, only if I have to...'*

I think I read somewhere that the primary consumers of slash fiction are not gay men but women.

I do not understand the female sex at all, nor will I ever.

Zombie pizza delivery? Witnesses Describe Accused Domino's Gunman As 'Vampire Slayer'

Ok. Utterly off-topic (no zombies in this post, unfortunately), but my evil partner in crime, Christyl, and I have just found out we've got use of an apt. on Christopher St. over Easter weekend.

Any NYC monkeys wanna come out and play on Friday (4/9) or Saturday (4/10)?

Um, yes!

You coming in early? I have a gig the night of the 8th, right there in the Village.

Not that I'm pimping my shows or nothing. That would be crass.

We're still dealing with airline details, but we're shooting for arriving Friday morning and leaving Sunday night.

Looks like we're gonna miss the show, unfortunately. :-(

I read somewhere that the primary consumers of slash fiction are not gay men but women.

It's true, Jon. My housemate is a slasher and part of a large online community, almost %99 women. There are a zillion theories about why this is so, but I don't know -I don't understand the female sex myself, really.

Say, anyone interested in a Spring Swap? I could use a tune fix.

A born-again Christian vampire slayer? Makes sense, Jesus is definitely on record as being anti-vampire.

Fes: I s'pose I could dig another swap.

Nobody in particular: Why yes, a disused Grind King skateboard truck does make a decent bottle opener. Thank you for asking.

Be on the look out for {{{green}}} {{{ eye}}} zombies.

My housemate is a slasher

Ms. Werbrave, I would recommend moving or stocking up on tourniquets.

Sincerely,

kaf

I just got a phone call asking for "the activity center at the psyche hospital."

Wrong number? Maybe not.

ok, question about "Dawn" if hell is full, and the dead possess the living, doesn't that seem ineffecient? cause then you have--yep--More Dead. And the zombies, being dead, will eventually turn into muck.

seems like mass possesions but not killing would be the way to go for a smooth transition to hell on earth? Big orgies to have lots of babies to have more space for souls would make more sense...Or put them in heaven--probably lots of space there.

the whole zombie genre just confuses me, but not nearly as much as the cinema attacks of monsters and wild animals where they pose and growl before pouncing, very un-predator like. Predators pose and growl at their competition, not their food.

and jon, i'd vote for you as emperor of movies if you banned remakes and covers--As long as i could be king of the world and deal with everything else.

Big orgies to have lots of babies to have more space for souls would make more sense..

Must be from Utah.

SurviveZombies

must be from Utah

was born there. ;-)

the polygamist blood in my veins dies hard.

And then comes back to life, and demands BRAAAAINS?

No reviews yet!?!?

A note about posting images:

We encourage users to post images, especially those hilarous pics of monkeys wearing dresses or programming for Linux. But posting images that reside on someone else's server is considered by many to be bandwidth theft. Our thoughts on the matter, along with some solutions to the problem, can be found here. Thanks.

In an effort to help eliminate spam (and to preserve the sanity of the 9622 Volunteer Simian Spam-Cop Brigade) all threads older than 30 days will now be closed to comments.

Name:


Email Address:


URL:


Comments:

Remember me?