Buggeration...England...See you next Tuesday...I don't have one...Sloblocks [only SFW with the sound down]
So, what's yours?
Posted by anathema at March 17, 2004 04:46 PMIt's such a rush to see the cast of Six Feet Under doing anything, even just cussing.
[/jonesing unmerciful]
Posted by: Chico on March 17, 2004 05:07 PMKinda reminds me of "Ullo John, Got A New Motor" by Alexei Sayle, the complete lyrics of which comprise this ad.
Posted by: Chico on March 17, 2004 06:12 PMAwww, fer fuck's sakes!
Wish I'd saved the post the sysop of one of my favourite BBS'es made in the '80s, about his swearing policy. In short, "shit", "fuck" et al were all right, but he'd unleas the unholy force of hell should you say "darn" or "frozen rat on a stick."
Posted by: arto on March 17, 2004 11:08 PM"Dingleberry", "wankstain", and "ass-clown" are all good.
Posted by: Vidiot on March 18, 2004 12:38 AMlet's see if I can code this..
Guess that was a "no" then...shitballs.
Posted by: ufez on March 18, 2004 09:58 AMMy two favs are douchebag and cocksucker. (I can't believe that I have so much in common with Kelly Osbourne.)
Posted by: dana on March 18, 2004 10:28 AMAshcroft. As in:
Ashcroft You!
MotherAshcrofter
That's Ashcrofted.
AUBAR
DonkeyAshcrofter.
AshcroftWad.
I don't give an Ashcroft
He knows sweet Ashcroft all.
Please, if you will, gently and slowly Ashcroft the Ashcroft off.
/got nuthin'
Posted by: romakimmy on March 18, 2004 10:38 AMAshcroft me running.
I still will profess a deep love for Stavros's shitmittens, but it's tough to work into everyday conversation. I'll try to do that more often.
Posted by: ufez on March 18, 2004 11:03 AMActually, fuckstick is nice, because it's so peculiar. Also "pud" or the more gleefully verbose "pudwhacker" or even the somewhat overwrought "pudwhacker extraordinaire", which can be traced back to its etyomological roots: "ye whacker o' the pudde", referred to in one of the deleted portions of Titus Andronicus.
Posted by: kaf on March 18, 2004 11:35 AMI've been on a "fucknozzle" binge lately.
The other morning I made the mistake of saying it in front of my daughter, and I think she injured herself giggling.
Posted by: Crash on March 18, 2004 12:23 PMHad a woman co-worker call me a "penis wrinkle", which caught my attention quickly.
Call guys “Quick Ricks” when being politely rude.
in high school we coined a hybrid term, "NPF" which we could use and not get beat-up for, since it was a secret.
Neon Penis Flake.
Now my favorite is "fucking hell!" or "god-fucking dammit!" which i realize isn't very original. My utah cousins say "fetch!".
Posted by: phil on March 18, 2004 01:00 PMon an entirely unrelated note, last night, when asked what tj stands for I replied: The Jesus.
Posted by: tj on March 18, 2004 01:38 PM"fartass", "shitheel" and "jagoff" are probably the ones I enjoy using the most. Each has a certain regional flair.
But for sheer volume (both decibel and quantity), "fuck" and its variants cannot be beat. "Well fuckity-fuck, you buttfuckers, we're fucking fucked!"
I'd like to use "autofellatier" more often, but I usually have to explain it, which sorta takes the teeth out of it.
Posted by: Fes on March 18, 2004 01:39 PMJust for the record, it means a guy who sucks his own dick.
Posted by: Fes on March 18, 2004 01:40 PMI've used "assclown" at least a dozen times in the last few days.
But then again, I work in a gay circus.
Posted by: Chico on March 18, 2004 01:53 PMOh, I know, Fes. I know.
"Well fuckity-fuck, you buttfuckers, we're fucking fucked!"
One of my very first days in New York, I observed a guy in a well-tailored three-piece suit screaming at a cabbie:
"Who the fuck you calling a fuck, you fuck? Fuck you, you fucking fuck!"
I love this town.
Posted by: Vidiot on March 18, 2004 01:57 PMMy autistic child (now 20) is almost completely non-verbal, so I've never felt it necessary to clean up my language in front of him.
Call me a bad mom, but I was quite delighted one day when the dog tried to steal his hamburger and he said, quite clearly, "Piss off, you!" I gave him a big kiss and said "Good boy, Andy!" then I called all my friends to brag about it.
Posted by: tizzie on March 18, 2004 02:07 PM"Fuckwad" is good regarding a person. A general all-purpose expletive is "mother-fucking christ." I've recycled "dickhead" from fourth grade and find that it makes more of an impression now, because people understand one of two things: either I'm completely regressed or the person I'm regaling with that title doesn't even warrant enough respect for a more biting expletive. In this vein, if you really dislike somebody, a basic "jerk" or "jerk-off" works. The lower the respect, the less colorful the language.
"Christ on a crutch" is one I've picked up from me ol' mum, who talks more blue than sailors or truckers. God bless mum.
Posted by: readymade on March 18, 2004 02:15 PMNyctalops!
Zatopecs!
Bashi-Bazouks!
I try to follow The Way of Captain Haddock, but on occasion, when confronted by New Yorkers in full 'Fuck you, you fuckin' motherfucker' mode, I find myself resorting to the traditional cunt and wanker of my youth.
Posted by: liam on March 18, 2004 02:50 PMThey're not just for breakfast anymore, Cyrano.
But where will it end? Is nothing sacred anymore? We need to preserve our way of life! What of our other sacred cows are we going to slaughter for dinner? Cockomelettes? Aureovaltine? Muffmuffins? Won't somebody please think of the children???
Posted by: ufez on March 18, 2004 05:31 PMWon't somebody please think of the children?
Children is what you get from twatwaffles. I learned that the hard way.
Ha!
Posted by: readymade on March 18, 2004 09:00 PMAssMunchkin.
I used to like "DickLick" and "KnobGobbler", but that was before I had lots of friends who would prefer to be called those.
These days, I use "frick" a lot. "Oh, what the frick?" It makes me feel like a deviant Mormon.
Posted by: ColdChef on March 18, 2004 09:16 PMYou thought the spam-bots were bad before, just wait until you see what googlers this thread is going to bring in.
Sorry. "You fig puckers thought", etc.
Posted by: yhbc on March 18, 2004 10:34 PMI can't believe I almost forgot to mention my old phone number (now sadly lost):
BIG-TWAT
Made it almost impossible to forget, but rather hard to hand out in polite company...
Posted by: arto on March 19, 2004 05:37 AM(btw, anybody else having trouble getting to the 'filter? I keep getting a 500 network error, but status.metafilter.com says nothing about it...)
Oh, and in the interest of staying on topic:
Posted by: arto on March 19, 2004 05:43 AMmy coworker's been using "turdburglar" a lot recently. it has nice assonance, if nothing else.
Posted by: adam on March 19, 2004 07:35 AM"Crusty fuckbuggery" is a personal favourite, especially when exclaimed at high volume in a moment of silence in an otherwise busy room. Churches are best, but expect to be asked to leave.
Posted by: flying walrus on March 19, 2004 11:20 AMWalrus, you been Crusty Fuckbuggering in India lately, then? What kind of sphinctermangling clusterfuck fishfight you on, exactly? Everything I hear about this trip makes me jealouser and jealouser.
Oh, I'd like to state, for the record and in all future dealings, that calling someone a dicknose has nothing to do with the size or shape of their noses. That's all.
Posted by: Chico on March 19, 2004 04:46 PMAs we say in Kentucky, "revenue" is a fightin' word.
As is "Yankee," but we'll leave that for another day.
Posted by: tizzie on March 19, 2004 08:23 PMchicken fingers.
[Pictures jon eating one of a kind chicken.]
I just watched a thing one of the news channels. It was a panel of political humorists and comedians. I've decided that I kinda like Phil Hendrie and that I loathe Greg Proops.
Posted by: jonmc on March 20, 2004 09:23 PMI've spent today watching a movie* about a romance between two disabled people. I've become visibly misty a few times, no joke.
Lter I'm gonna read my books and wait for Lisa to arrive with hot dogs from home.
*although Diane Keaton in that movie acts like my mom, which is irritating. Well, she's got my mom's mannerisms, but my mom always aspired to that ...mein, but never quite pulled it off.
I think I need an ovaltine.
Posted by: jonmc on March 21, 2004 04:17 PMYou're watching movies now? Cool....you & L. should come over and see some sometime.
Movies, that is.
Posted by: Vidiot on March 21, 2004 06:46 PMIt was on TV. I'm listening to The munsters through the walls now. Lisa should be home from CT soon. She's bringing dogs from that mythical stand. You should give a call.
Posted by: jonmc on March 21, 2004 06:48 PMYou are frightening me, anathema. Do you not have enough complex hypotheticals do dissect? Wait; here comes Mrs. Palsgraf. Perhaps she will pass by the scale, which is in imminent danger of being violently exploded by the weight of several tons of sick sheep, being shipped off shore to comfort the yearnings of the fertile octogenarian and her unborn heir. They should all get the hell back to Blackacre, where at least they have riparian rights.
Discuss.
Posted by: yhbc on March 21, 2004 11:53 PMCrap. I hit post instead of preview. I meant to say "to dissect", of course.
And I also meant not to post it at all, but now I have. It's an overdone law school joke, if anyone was wondering.
Posted by: yhbc on March 21, 2004 11:55 PMI haven't posted a movie review in a long, long time, but I saw a movie this
weekend that may very well change the way you feel about the world. No, I'm not
talking about "The Passion." I'm talking about "Eternal Sunshine of the
Spotless Mind" starring Jim Carrey. Yes, that Jim Carrey.
I love love loved this movie. It's not for everyone, I admit that, and it can
sometimes be a challenge to remember what is going on, but it's the most
visually stunning thing I've seen in a long time plus it's funny as hell.
Don't take my word for it? Check the reviews:
http://www.metacritic.com/film/titles/eternalsunshineofthespotlessmind/
Again, this may not be your kind of movie, but if you liked "Adaptation" or
"Being John Malkovich", this may be right up your alley.
And I'll make this deal with you: if you see it and you DON'T like it, I'll
take you to the movies, my treat, next time you're in Baton Rouge.
How's that for a deal?
CC, the Dallas Observer ran a pretty good piece on Charlie Kaufman this week. You may wanna check it out.
Posted by: ufez on March 22, 2004 01:18 PMThanks, ufez. I got a MeFi post out of it. Good stuff.
Posted by: ColdChef on March 22, 2004 09:12 PMYou know, commish, that "scale" was really a slate shingle.
And thanks a lot, I was trying to forget about riparian rights until BarBri rolls around.
Posted by: ana on March 22, 2004 10:51 PMThose damned Riparians and their rights! Always wanting to arm bears and the like. I say, make Riparia the 51st state!
Damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead. Free Riperia!!!
Posted by: tizzie on March 23, 2004 06:41 AMDoes anyone remember the song "Avenging Annnie" by Andy Pratt? I've been singing it to myself non-stop the past week. It's the best song I've heard this year, and it's 31 years old.
I live in a strange little world.
Posted by: jonmc on March 23, 2004 10:51 AMNever heard of it, jonmc. And that name would have stuck in my head.
Posted by: tizzie on March 23, 2004 10:55 AM*sniff sniff*
smells like spring
*sneezes*, [wipes nose]
well dayve spit out...
[holds a bar soap behind his back]
Jesus H. Christ on a popsicle stick
(which I believe I picked up from the movie "Fletch")
Posted by: filmgoerjuan on March 27, 2004 10:50 AMI tend to be a 1980's dad kind of swearer. I really like the old mf and the gd, the ones that sanctimonious assholes would frown at me for saying in the 11th grade.
Posted by: mikro on April 2, 2004 05:56 PMI forgot about "dumbass." That's really one of my favorites. Even though it's pretty innocuous, if said with enough bile it can really cut to the bone.
Posted by: readymade on April 3, 2004 12:29 AMA note about posting images:
We encourage users to post images, especially those hilarous pics of monkeys
wearing dresses or programming for Linux. But posting images that reside on someone
else's server is considered by many to be bandwidth theft. Our thoughts
on the matter, along with some solutions to the problem, can be found
here. Thanks.
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