Welcome, new monkey! JOIN US!
(*flings poo*)
Ice cream all around!
(...and yes, I'm so excited about ColdChef's little one (or at least about ice cream) that I posted this thread before s/he was actually, y'know, born. Daddy can fill in the vital details when the Big Moment comes.)
(so should this be in "Little Monkeys", "Monkey Birthdays", "the 9622 Legacy", or where?)
Posted by Vidiot at July 13, 2004 11:52 AMI keep telling myself that first babies take a long time to pop out, even when they are induced.
*taps toes impatiently*
Hey, BabyChef! Hurry the hell up, will ya!!!
Posted by: tizzie on July 13, 2004 01:36 PMAnd keep a salad spinner and potentially a salad shooter nearby for baby frightening.
Posted by: kaf on July 13, 2004 04:03 PMNo, no! Catcher's mitt, not salad tongs. And definitely no whaling equipment. The entire subject of whaling is off limits during pregnancy and the next, say, year or two.
Get with the program, you guys.
Posted by: tizzie on July 13, 2004 04:05 PMFor the love of Pete! I stayed up and watched all of "Cold Mountain" and that baby ain't here yet.
That Ruby character woulda had that baby twice by now. She was some tough woman.
Posted by: tizzie on July 13, 2004 10:20 PMWell, you'll be pleased to know I got a headstart on the ice cream issue, at least. Thank you, O Peter's Drive In--and listen here, li'l ColdChef Jr., no blackberry milkshakes for you 'till you come outta there.
(It's all about incentive, see...)
Posted by: arto on July 14, 2004 03:19 AMOne would think Mrs. ColdChef would object to a pre-natal milkshake for ColdChef Jr.
(you thought an ice cream headache was bad...)
Posted by: Vidiot on July 14, 2004 07:23 AMAllow me to add my sincere congratulations to ColdChef and Mrs. ColdChef on the presumed arrival of adorable little BabyChef! Since we don't have details yet I'm going to guess 8 pounds, 6 ounces, and that immediately upon emerging into the world, he/she said, "What does a [guy/girl] have to do to get a drink in this joint?"
Posted by: pardon me on July 14, 2004 11:16 AMI'm hoping that MiniChef is born today so he'll share a birthday, not only with Mefi but with my one and only lady Pips!
That'd be some badass birthday sharin' company, dontcha think?
Posted by: jonmc on July 14, 2004 11:32 AMCome on, Bastille Baby!
My granmother, by the way, always swore by giving the mother-to-be a nice hot curry.
Posted by: kafkaesque on July 14, 2004 11:42 AMMr. K, I think you are on to something there. That Bastille Day linkage, and the whole NOLA-French heritage thing. Could be a winner!
*waves hi to Pardon Me*
Hey there, stranger!
*waves back, belatedly*
Hey, yourself, pretty lady. I still peek in on you guys fairly regularly. You know, just to make sure the inmates are still running the asylum. I would post more, but the witticisms don't seem to come to me as quickly these days. (I blame old age.)
Posted by: pardon me on July 14, 2004 03:44 PMChico, if it helps, my cuttings finally took and I have a bunch of little baby chocolate-mint plants.
Umm, I mean chocolate-mint MONKEY plants.
I got nothing.
Posted by: salmonberry on July 14, 2004 08:35 PMIf this kid doesn't hurry up, I'm gonna start to lactate.
Posted by: tizzie on July 14, 2004 08:50 PMI'd start whistling the "Jeopardy!" theme, but that asshole Ken has kind of ruined it for me.
How 'bout we sing a round of "Beverly Hillbillies" instead?
Posted by: yhbc on July 14, 2004 11:18 PMI suspect the baby ColdChef - the "Chefling" - has arrived and is already sucking the life out of his online time.
Damn babies, taking away all the fun.
Posted by: salmonberry on July 15, 2004 01:01 AMSalad tongs, dude.
Vegetarian Chinese gang members'd scare the babylump outta anybody!
Can we post images anymore? No? Okay, then. Self link.
And as I recall, there was about six months of delirium post-baby. Wait, is that the six-month check-up I'm going to today?
I'm sure he's just finding his papa sea-legs. Or searching high and low for them, anyway.
Posted by: readymade on July 15, 2004 12:35 PMReadymade, how sweeeeeeeeet! Wow, he's gorgeous.
I'm sure he's peaceful like that all the time, too, right?
Posted by: tizzie on July 15, 2004 12:52 PMJust dropping in from a Circuit City near the hospital...(why no WiFi in a modern hospital, I ask you?) to tell you all that I became a father to a beautiful little girl on Tuesday.
She's as beautiful as her mother, and that's a relief.
More once we're released back into the wild...thanks for all the "pushing support."
Posted by: ColdChef on July 15, 2004 04:51 PMYay chefstah. That's the first female baby monkey in the 9622.net years isn't it?
*light's up cigar, remembers he's at work, puts it out quickly*
Posted by: ufez on July 15, 2004 05:03 PMCongratulations "Papa Chef." A Girl! Whom have their ways with fathers that the “cold” in them is rarely found.
Posted by: thomcatspike on July 15, 2004 05:35 PMWhat I wouldn't give to see beaming Chef pride...There is just something hot about a happy new papa.
Congrats to you and your lovely little family, especially the one with the tiny tootsies.
Posted by: readymade on July 15, 2004 06:04 PMw00t!
Congrats chefstah! Can't think of a cooler babydaddy. Much happiness to you and the missus.
Posted by: jonmc on July 15, 2004 06:22 PMYAY! Oh, Chef, I'm so happy for you. I mean, I'm a little bit drubk and all, but even if I wasn't, I'd still think that's a helluva thing.
Give the Mrs. and the new Miss a kiss from us monkeys.
Posted by: tizzie on July 15, 2004 09:59 PMCongratulations to all three of you, and don't forget to warn her about strange people on the Internet.
Posted by: Vidiot on July 16, 2004 12:57 AMCongrats, CC!
*does the salad tong dance*
Posted by: stavrosthewonderchicken on July 16, 2004 01:19 AM*does the salad tong dance*
If you try that at the Olive Garden they'll throw you out and call the cops.
Congrats, C.C.
Posted by: Cyrano on July 16, 2004 04:50 AM*uses the salad tongs, which have happily turned out to be a multifunctional SuperTool and not a vegetarian Chinese gang at all, to pass some placenta to the famished dong*
Posted by: stavrosthewonderchicken on July 16, 2004 06:35 AMWelcome to the world, lil' ColdChefette. May your days be filled with wonder, love and monkey goodness.
Go Chef! He should be happy to have a dad who makes such awesome mix CDs.
Posted by: mr. psyche on July 16, 2004 09:31 AMAdampsyche - girls are she, and boys are he.
I can't get more specific about that right now. I'm looking up placenta stew recipes for Dong.
Posted by: tizzie on July 16, 2004 10:38 AMYay! Congratulations to the Cheffersons!
I was going to suggest printing out this thread for the baby book, but now I'm not so sure. dong's totally bogarting the placenta. Maybe there'll be a regular baby book, and a very special "after you turn 18" baby book for later.
Posted by: whatnot on July 16, 2004 11:05 AMIn honor of the new wee one, here's a link to a story about a monkey named Miggi, and his very fancy underpants.
Really.
I swear.
So help me God.
Posted by: Crash on July 16, 2004 11:50 AMWe need more female little monkeys so we can begin arranging marriages.
Monkey eugenics!
Posted by: ufez on July 16, 2004 04:36 PMSends ufez a banana daiquiri tied to grass skirt ;P
Posted by: thomcatspike on July 16, 2004 07:19 PMSends ufez a banana daiquiri tied to grass skirt ;P
Posted by: thomcatspike on July 16, 2004 07:20 PMYou lucky, lucky man!
A daughter is about the best thing in life there is.
I bet she's very sweet and lovely.
Make her listen to Willie Nelson singing "Valentine" for extra luck.
The warmest congratulations to mother, child and father.
*Breaks into "You've Made Me So Very Happy"*
YAY!
Posted by: Miguel on July 16, 2004 10:24 PMWonderful!
A playmate for my grand-daughter, Lils.
7 months old now, and ruler of all she sees!
esme
Posted by: esmerelda on July 17, 2004 12:29 AMHa! A tiny princess. Congratulations, Coldchef! A friend of mine who has three daughters once told me: "Having a house full of girls means two things: I'm always wrong, and I need a better job." He paused, then added: "Hey, guess what! I signed up for a martial arts class." It was like a Zen koan.
To the new princess! May she be the star that outshines the brightest sky!
Posted by: Fes on July 18, 2004 11:42 PMCongrats, CC. It's cliche, but it's the gift that keeps on giving. Wait'll you see the diapers.
She's as beautiful as her mother, and that's a relief.
That is good news. And if she's as witty as her father, she will be a true force to be reckoned with.
Posted by: pardon me on July 20, 2004 12:29 PMBaby's a week old and we've got no pictures.
And I think we missed a certain someone's birthday over the weekend.
This place is going to hell on a banana peel. Thank gawd we've got the Mighty Tay-Hota cleaning up the comment spam and the chewing tobacco in the aisles.
Posted by: tizzie on July 20, 2004 09:58 PMEmail me if you want to see pictures. Her mom is freaky scared about putting photos of the internet. I mean, last time she ended up Frenching a killer whale.
Posted by: ColdChef on July 21, 2004 12:28 AMcan't say I blame her much.
btw, we had 108 spam posts to the "freebird" thread from July of last year.
that thread is now closed.
Posted by: tj on July 21, 2004 01:34 AMA note about posting images:
We encourage users to post images, especially those hilarous pics of monkeys
wearing dresses or programming for Linux. But posting images that reside on someone
else's server is considered by many to be bandwidth theft. Our thoughts
on the matter, along with some solutions to the problem, can be found
here. Thanks.
In an effort to help eliminate spam (and to preserve the sanity of the 9622 Volunteer Simian Spam-Cop Brigade) all threads older than 30 days will now be closed to comments.