I'm always trying to make sure we leave the campsite clean, and I notice there's some broken glass at the edge of the trees. So I bend down to pick it up, and almost pick up this guy.
Posted by tizzie at September 13, 2004 11:23 PMOh, and it was a nice trip. I'm getting to be Suzy Scout with this whole "cooking on the campfire" thing. Not only can i make a damn fine cup of coffee in the percolator, but I also grilled up a mess of sausages, onions, peppers and potatoes that weren't bad at all.
Posted by: tizzie on September 13, 2004 11:28 PMNot sure what kind of spider it is (how big was it?), but I can assure you it's not dangerous to people.
Posted by: Vidiot on September 14, 2004 01:12 AMOh Tizzie - the poor deadly spider was attracted by the aroma of your cooking and you had to go and be an environmentally correct little camper and gathered up all the tasty leftovers.
Have you any idea of how many insects the remnants of your pot would have fed for weeks on end? :)
Lots and lots of love!
I do miss 9622, dammit...
Posted by: Miguel on September 14, 2004 01:16 AMWhere ya been, Migs?
We miss you, too...and we thought we'd have to break out the Beer Nuts to get you back...
Posted by: Vidiot on September 14, 2004 03:51 AMTizzie, I love you to death, but just because it's furry and small DOES NOT mean it's cute. Gah.
/severe arachniphobia. Feelin' itchy now.
Posted by: romakimmy on September 14, 2004 07:58 AMKimmy, honey, that is not small. Furry, yes, but it wouldn't fit on the palm of my hand if I had thought about putting it there - which I did not!
I think Vidiot is correct - it's probably not poisonous. It doesn't have to be. Sort of just sits there looking like the baddest mofo in the forest and, sure enough, it IS the baddest mofo in the forest.
Posted by: tizzie on September 14, 2004 08:21 AMAnd let me just add ....
MIGUEL!!!!!!!!!! ***smooch***smoooch***smooch****
I have missed you so!
It looks like a common wolf spider, but who knows. But I hope you didn't stomp it, as spiders, who chow down on bugs with abandon, fall under the rubric "enemy of my enemy" and therefore are our friends.
My darling Kimmy, nothing counters the buggies more than a nice, long, hot shower with someone who might be persuaded to wash your hair for you. Or so I've, ah, heard.
Posted by: Fes on September 14, 2004 12:09 PMHope our ColdChef has the Missus and the Chefling in a high and dry spot, safe from the big old storm. Although it sounds like things are not going to be as bad as originally thought.
Fes, the thought of squoooshing Fred Spider is almost more unpleasant than the thought of picking him up.
Posted by: tizzie on September 14, 2004 01:15 PMTiz, that was evil but Sweet Jeebus on a crutch Fes, now I'm thinking of that shower scene from Arachniphobia. Urg.
I made the mistake of watching that movie one afternoon on cable when I was 16, thinking it wouldn't be so bad if I viewed it in broad daylight. Mom came storming out of her bedroom.
"Turn that damn TV down! I can hear the screaming with the door shut."
Doing a double take she realised the screaming was coming from her oldest daughter, huddled on the couch strangling a hapless throw pillow.
I don't know how I made it through Girl Scout camping trips.
Posted by: romakimmy on September 14, 2004 01:34 PMMicio mio, I would stomp any and all that dare disturb the care of you lustrous locks, con piacere, bare feet or no.
Posted by: Fes on September 14, 2004 01:53 PMYou're making me all misty. I just sent Murphy, the wolf spider I shared accomodation with, outside. We were getting along great, he was only about 2-3" and keeping my place bug free.
Then he decided a good place to hide would be inside the cardboard tube of my tp roll. He got a little too cocky. Now he's out in the carport, with no radio or cable. I hope he's learned something.
Posted by: salmonberry on September 14, 2004 02:13 PM"Salmonberry's Time-Out for Spiders"
This title will fly off the shelves! But which shelves? Parenting, self-help, entomology... it has something for everybody!
Posted by: tizzie on September 14, 2004 02:20 PMYea I wouldn't pick up that spider either. he's one bad ass camper, drinks its beer from broken bottles.
Posted by: thomcatspike on September 14, 2004 02:43 PMKill it! Dead! Step on it! Kill it! Kill it! Kill it! Kill it! Kill it! Kill it! Kill it! Kill it! Kill it! Kill it! Kill it! Kill it! Kill it!
Posted by: dong resin on September 14, 2004 03:00 PMIf it wasn't for spiders, I'd never hang on to my lunch money.
The bullies here at work are such wusses.
Spiders: Our Furry, Creepy Friends.
Posted by: Chico on September 14, 2004 03:28 PMIt would've been helpful, tizzie, if you had put something like, say, a spare tractor trailer tire next to the spider to give us a sense of proportion.
Posted by: dana on September 14, 2004 05:14 PMNote to self: don't go camping with dong resin. Actually, do go camping with dong resin. Pack rubber insects to throw into his tent.
Posted by: salmonberry on September 14, 2004 07:32 PMThanks for the well wishes, Tizzie. We are hunkered down and eating fried chicken. I mock the awsome powers of nature with a greasy clenched fist.
Posted by: ColdChef who is dribking on September 14, 2004 08:41 PMScary Spider countermeasures ACTIVATE !
Ahhh. That's better.
PS : WTF? Inline images aren't allowed any more?
Posted by: stavrosthewonderchicken on September 14, 2004 08:58 PMI got drubk in sympathy, coldchef.
And now I'm sitting here, wondering. Wondering about Murphy. Is he ok? Did a robin get him? Was he able to find insects to eat? Was he able to hide in the rain?
My pet rabbit is looking at me accusingly. Oh, the guilt! The shame!
The emotional rawness...it's all so French.
Posted by: salmonberry on September 15, 2004 01:04 AMColdChef, when you wake up, errr, sober up, errr, somethin', keep us posted!
If you want to put that baby on a Greyhound and send her up to Aunt Tizzie's till the worst is over, that's cool too.
Posted by: tizzie on September 15, 2004 10:29 AMI'm thinking positive, calming thoughts about the Chef too.
Posted by: Chico on September 15, 2004 11:38 AMOooooooooooohhhhh, babies!!
If I could die and come back as anybody in the whole world, I pick the lady that gets to carry the baby gorillas around at the zoo.
Posted by: tizzie on September 15, 2004 12:53 PMShhhhh...stop yelling. You know the trick to no hangovers.? Stay drbuk. I'm at workg now, but I'm greasing the wheels for later.
Blow wind blow.
Posted by: ColdChef on September 15, 2004 02:20 PMLet me get this straight: when the hurricane flooding hits, fire ants ball up, float around, and wait for something - say a person - to show up and clamber on top of.
That scenario makes a big fuzzy spider seem serene.
Posted by: salmonberry on September 15, 2004 02:54 PMSaid it before, Miz Berry - Spiders are your friends. Make friends with the spiders.
And Chef... you spelt "kubdr" wrong. You alright, brother?
I'll have my sister take pictures, CC. Nothing says lovin' like some good old weather-pr0n.
Posted by: ufez on September 15, 2004 11:34 PMSpeaking of pr0n, I'm working on a photo shoot today for "HVAC Insider" magazine. Now THAT is a hot publication.
Posted by: tizzie on September 16, 2004 01:14 PMmiguel has been busily working on a translation of dong's book.
Posted by: ana on September 16, 2004 01:15 PMHmph. Tizzie my dear, until you've read the Journal of Compensation and Benefits, you simply don't *know* literary excitement!
If you all like that, let me send you the latest issue of "Meetings" magazine. Boy howdy, I count the days until the next issue of that comes out, lemme tell ya.
Posted by: Fes on September 16, 2004 03:02 PMmiguel has been busily working on a translation of dong's book
Boy, do I regret it, though, Ana. What a fussy bastard! He refuses to accept "cão" is the correct Portuguese translation of "dog" just because it doesn't spell "God" backwards or "foi" for "went" because "foi" reminds him of foie gras, which he hates.
Then he annoyingly complains "it just isn't the same". At one point, infuriatingly, he said "I would never have written that" and, try as I might to convince him he had, his curt reply was "I don't even know Portuguese, dude - how the fuck could I have written that shit?"
At one point, he suggested publishing it in Portugal in the original English and suggesting I set up a web site with the translation for the "lamers who need help."
Will I get my revenge when, as promised, he has to translate my book into English? You betcha.
Posted by: Miguel on September 16, 2004 11:23 PMMiguel, if you or ana hit a roadblock, I have my copy of Carolino's "English as She is Spoke", I'm sure it'll help quite a bit.
Posted by: salmonberry on September 17, 2004 03:12 AMWooooHOOOO! It looks GREAT, Lupo - way to go!
Posted by: tizzie, your biggest fan on September 17, 2004 11:40 AMDrubk actor frees lobsters at local grocery store.
If he was really worried about justice, he wouldn't have gone there in the first place. It's non-union.
Posted by: tizzie on September 18, 2004 04:54 AMWho *is* that chick? Also, how can I be surprised-yet-not-surprised simultaneously? Am I experiencing a wrinkle in time?
Posted by: dana on September 20, 2004 10:04 AMBill Maher's turnover rate for hydraulic spokesmodel galpals rivals that of your average McDonald's, so I'm guessing he didn't know her name neither.
"Buffy? Muffy? Missy? Angie? Ashley? Oh, hell, I give up."
Posted by: Chico on September 20, 2004 12:04 PMJust between you and I, she's got sort of a, ah, midcourse transgender thing happening, doesn't she?
While I can't argue with the turgitating effect of her pre-eminences, those are *dude* eyes, folks.
Posted by: Fes on September 20, 2004 12:57 PMOh, geez. I disappear for a couple of months and come back to find that the first thing I see on the page isn't some kind of cute baby monkey. No. It's a big, hairy, disgusting spider. And precisely the kind of big, hairy, disgusting spider that bit me when I was a kid and made my arm swell up in a huge, nasty welt.
*shudder*
Posted by: aine42 on September 20, 2004 07:13 PM(Also: Hi, all! I've missed you monkeys while I've been busy all summer with this pesky "work" nonsense.)
Posted by: aine42 on September 20, 2004 07:14 PMWelcome back, aine, and sorry about the childhood trauma thing. Who knew??
Posted by: tizzie on September 20, 2004 08:23 PMThe ColdCheflette's college hopes - dashed!
What happened, my friend? The storm-out? Midlife crisis? Met a stripper and moved to Metairie? He asked you, "Son, you beddah get yo haid owcho ace or gimme yo two weeks!" and you gave him yo two weeks? (wait, that last one is mine).
Posted by: Fes on September 20, 2004 11:12 PMPlease tell us that the floodwaters washed an old treasure chest up onto your front porch!
Posted by: tizzie on September 21, 2004 08:21 AMA note about posting images:
We encourage users to post images, especially those hilarous pics of monkeys
wearing dresses or programming for Linux. But posting images that reside on someone
else's server is considered by many to be bandwidth theft. Our thoughts
on the matter, along with some solutions to the problem, can be found
here. Thanks.
In an effort to help eliminate spam (and to preserve the sanity of the 9622 Volunteer Simian Spam-Cop Brigade) all threads older than 30 days will now be closed to comments.