9622.net

Just a quick note on how things work:

Everyone is welcome to join in on the discussion. Just jump right in.

After you've been around a while (a couple of weeks or so), send an email to admin AT 9622 DOT net reminding us, and we'll hook you up with posting privileges. It's not a perfect system; We just need some way to keep out the trolls.

Wasn't the first rule of 9622.net "you don't talk about 9622.net"? Wasn't it?

Oh, wait - maybe it was "bring enough for everyone if you're going to do that in here". Sorry.

Hazmat suits to the left, copies of Miguel's novels (like our Little Red Book, but in Portugese) to the right, and don't forget to see Stavrothewonderchicken to get your key to the wine cellar.

Alternative Punishments for the Monkey, Seeing as How Spanking is Cruel.

so you guys stole the poo-flinging thing from monkeyfilter? j/king.
what's everybody's a/s/l?

I just realized my email address had defaulted back to my real one on my last few comments. Damn. Hello, v|agra marketers! C'mon in!

Gotcha beat by about a year and a half there, dano.

99/android/couch

Man, if that crazy clown doll comes to life and starts strangling me I'm gonna be pissed!

Oh my god, adam's an android. I guess that makes Jasper a real chip off the old ... something.

yes! just look how evil he is!

godDAMN that's one cute velociraptor.

Why would anyone want to join this site? It's failed!

Haven't we all had enough failure in our lives?

We wrote the friggin' book on flingin' of the poo, y'all. If anyone's enforcing copyright on the concept, it's us.

But, being failures, we simply release our most potentially lucrative invention to the rest of the world. Because we're about the people, not the blow and the hot rims on the Jag.

No. We're about the people. And the hours of beautiful, vital, life-purpose-giving oral pleasures we might give and receive from the people.

Come. Join us. Come.

ONE OF US! ONE OF US!

Flinging poo is encouraged?

*swoons with happiness*

just don't fling any this way while i'm having my 'people' contact chico's. it's quite the turn off.

sorry, you are way to new to be making condtions...

*pulls out the MegaLauncherFeces9000*

oh, it's on!

*fling*

*goes limp*

They have pills for that now, you know.

Wait. I paid Fes in chichi shoes and tailored pants. You mean I didn't have to? I could have just walked in with no by-your-leave?

You know, I wouldn't boink that guy with the frozen smile on his stupid face, even if his willy was the size of a Louisville Slugger.

And I'm talking about the guy in the "enhancement" commercial - but the same statement would apply to GWB.

Randy, but not THAT randy, eh tizzie?

I don't think GWB's wife would bump nasties with him either.

And by "him" I mean her husband. I don't know about her boinking the guy in the commercial. Maybe she's got a sekrit life. Who knows?

I still have those shoes, they are AWESOME.

readymade, I was going to bring a by-your-leave as a hostess gift but I couldn't find one in a decent color. So I just brought poo.

*emabrrassed*

Does anyone else think that when deep impact hits that comet, a swarm of these are going to come pouring out and take over the world?

See, where I come from, we don't fling poo, we put in paper bags and light them.

Oh, we didn't say the flung poo couldn't be bagged and flaming as well, me3dia.

Think of it as a cross-over style. All the fun of flinging with less of the work of doorbell ditch-it. You don't always get the fun stomping part, though.

You just called shit "poo".

Or vice versa.

Well, I hope you are all satisfied. You couldn't police your own snark, you couldn't behave, you had to turn Meta into your own personal warzone.

Now Matt has been woken from his slumber and is ruling with an iron fist. No more innocent fun to be had.

I hope you are all satisfied.

By which I mean, of course:

LET THE POO FLINGING BEGIN!

I, for one, am not yet satisfied.

hey all! have you seen the wily and elusive pnada? Unfortunately it is not a monkey, but perhaps we could breed it with a lemur or something.

by the way the other day i read the whole 9622. really. all of it. i could have read a book. but i dint. i read 9622. please award me some sort of prize. for magnificence or plodding stubborness or god knows what. there can't be too many people that did it on one long chunk. i still have scars.

Yes, but it's a classic in its own right.

"I once had a pet hamper... my parents didn't trust me with animals.
posted by tj at 1:56 PM PST on August 24"

Comedy gold!

you know, reading it is nothing.. you didn't have the anxiety of waiting 10 minutes for it to load to see if it loading was gonna cause the server to go down.

I'm actually very impressed that someone read that whole thread.

Did it...y'know, hurt?

I once printed out and read all of 1142. It was cute, but terribly one-sided.

You know what? I hate you fuckers.

Dude, that's harsh, G.

Time to haul this one out again :

Kitten cleans your computer screen.

"There's a monkey for every wino and wine for every monkey."

Wine and monkeys together? What's not to like? Plus, cheap.

Which is to say, the wine is cheap, not me.

Er, well...

Papio wines are delicious, fruity and priced to drink every day.

Papio supports primate conservation

Shit, I'm sold. I may go try to find some of this this weekend. There are two dealers in my zip code.

It's a fine concoction. I bought it for the label, I stayed for the price (and lack of butane aftertaste. It wasn't bad!). Plus, enviro-hooch!

Plus, PLUS!

(Methinks I need a new catchphrase.)

I've had the monkeywine! I admit I bought it simply because of the label. I think I had the syrah. It's not bad, actually. And cheap!

I got drunk last night and then wandered into a church on Avenue A. People were speaking in tounges and stuff and they had a video screen with song lyrics going. They let me use the restroom, too. It was kinda cool.

An introductory 9622 dung flinging monkey (carrying case not included).

Arm the pootacult! The enemy is at the gates!

naw just a harmless, unarmed, poor, defenseless canuck, stavros.

i don't know about anyone else, but i'm inspired.

That's beautiful, man.

I only drink monkey wine that is made out of actual monkeys.

Dana, you plagiarist!

In ref to I hope you are all satisfied speech.

Really, you don't want people thinking you're me.

Meanwhile, anybody have an empty coffee pot? I gotta go number two.

*stares at cappucino in disbelief*

I had to order "extra foam"....

Hey, you better appreciate that foam. It cost many monkeys a good chafe.

The new Butterfinger Crisp bars are quite fucking badass. I'm enjoying my first ever one (purchased here) and it's quite the sucrose trip, yo.

Jesus.

Get off my lawn.

Dude.

Jesus is on your lawn?

Well at least you don't have to worry about the puddles or anything.

You wouldn't believe my utility bills, with a ten foot neon Jesus on the lawn.

There's a Camper Van Beethoven joke begging for release right about now, but I'm not going to go there.

I also got a few of the Nestle Crunch with Peanut Butter which is "Limited Edition."

That's becoming a big thing with candy today, your Limited Edition shtick, which is putting me under a lot of pressure, dammit.

Anyway, glad to see all the traffic here. Hope you are all doing well.

The above picture of my corner bodega is from the superlative outer-borough photo site, Bridge & Tunnel Club which among other things has some superlative pics of me, vidiot, & chico's neighborhood including our favorite outdoor drinkin' spot, and this page of photos of my street, including my building (I won't tell ya which, gotta maintain some privacy).

I missed Queens when I was on the east coast, but man those shots of Ditmars Boulevard are nice.

My current abode is shiney by night, but it's just got less soul.

Kaf! I haven't seen you in year!

Indeed. It has been year.

Been busy, with a new job and side projects like terraforming Mars. You know how it is.

Kafkaesque! I thought you were in the witness protection program!

Swarm! SWARM!!

's not warm where I am.

Not here, neither.

Our office here at the Corporate Entity was burgled over the weekend. Some enterprising soul threw a bench through the patio window and took all the laptops (not my old Dell box, no way!) Anyway, the window hole's making it a bit drafty, what with the 9 degrees outside and all.

Holy shit, tizzie. That's awful!

Well, yes, I had to report to the Office Manager about the missing items in my area. You know, the brand new Ipod and the Rolex that were in my drawer. And the cash! Hey, I have to keep a LOT of cash on hand here, in case my Rolex and my Ipod stop working, and I need new ones!

So, yeah, she's gonna turn that in to the insurance.

And then all of us monkeys are going to Cozumel for the rest of the winter. So start packing, baby!

*strips down to his skivvies, slathers himself in coconut-scented goo, loads up on rum drinks with umbrellas in them*

Ooo, nice site, Jon. Good find.

(Every meal's a festival at Chicken Festival!)

Sadly, there's no picture of this horribly named joint's astoria location.

Not even a "hello, welcome back" from you people?

*ducks*

*gives b****fire Indian drawers*

*ducks*

*gooses*

*slaps vidiot*

you nathty man.

Oh, welcome back, fubbynire.

I could've used you're guidance at that church in Alphabet City the other night. Although, I was obviously schnockered, the parishoners were quite freindly. The preacher was a dude from Yugoslavia, who actually had quite a sense of humor and definite NYC attitude, cracking jokes about how hard Christian hospitality is in a city where closets get rented out for $1500 a month.

Sounds like you did fine on your own, actually. What church was it?

I don't know.

It was in a basement on 7th street. It had a nice restroom. They yelled loudly when the sensed I was going to wander into the wrong room. I guess they didn't want me peeing n the minister's desk.

9622.net: begging for release right about now.

Jonmc is evidently living a Pogues song.

puhtewee

A note about posting images:

We encourage users to post images, especially those hilarous pics of monkeys wearing dresses or programming for Linux. But posting images that reside on someone else's server is considered by many to be bandwidth theft. Our thoughts on the matter, along with some solutions to the problem, can be found here. Thanks.

In an effort to help eliminate spam (and to preserve the sanity of the 9622 Volunteer Simian Spam-Cop Brigade) all threads older than 30 days will now be closed to comments.

Name:


Email Address:


URL:


Comments:

Remember me?