9622.net

I'm hoping to get through all 12 stages of grief by dinner time. That way, my evening will be free for drinking and internet porn.

Forgive my ignorance, but what happens Thursday?

I bought one of these to wear, but I'm not sure it will be here on time. So, Plan B, I'm just going to paint that across my chest.

And drink. Drink, drink, drink.

By weird, cosmic coincidence, Thursday is my mother, my boss, and my hubby's birthdays. Yes, those are 3 separate people, and, no, they really aren't at all alike.

Needless to say, I'm not celebrating anything on that day, so if they want happy, they better look elsewhere. If they want wailing and gnashing of teeth, I've got that.

I'm "celebrating" Not One Damn Dime Day.

So I should assume there'll be a run on beer at the local bodegas wednesday night?

Beer is not enough. Brain novocaine?

Ah, the inauguration. I wasn't invited. I will, subsequently, be marking the day by not changing my usual activities one iota:

5:30 am: wake up, 20 minutes of PowerLifting
6 am: shower, dress, muffin
7 am: catch bullet-train to downtown corporate arcologies (this morning's scheduled periodical: "Highlights")
8 am - noon: thuggery
noon: lunch al fresco at Eat Rite (scroll down for pic)
1 pm - 3:30 pm: rapine
3:30 - 4 pm: daily pr0n downloading and erection-hiding
4 pm: think about leaving early.
4:09 - 4:11 pm: daily ass-kiss (give to superiors)
4:11 - 4:13 pm: daily ass-kiss (receive from subordinates)
4:13 - 4:13:30 pm: Minesweeper
4:15 pm: leave early, by way of supply closet (note to self: need legal pads and miniposties at home)
4:20 pm: check out chicks' asses on bullet train platform (much hampered by recent cold snap)
4:30 pm: bullet train to BFE (this evening's scheduled periodical: "Maxim")
5:30 pm: cocktail
6 pm: dinner with loved ones
7 pm: give loved ones bath
7:30 pm: storytime
7:55 pm: cocktail
8 pm: CSI
9 pm: News
9:02 pm: nod off briefly, fart myself awake
9:30 pm: cocktail
10 pm: log onto internet, download more pr0n, respond to snarky emails generated by right-wing blog posts made during day, review and update Enemies List
10:30 pm: arts and crafts
11 - 11:06 pm: self abuse.
11:07 pm: Sleep

The Eat-Rite looks like a real gem. Give Mary our love.

And I want a gig like Fes's.

Thank you, Fes! That was beautiful. Truly.

And I definitely want to have a 9622 lunch meetup at the Eat-Rite. Booyeah.

I'm "celebrating" Not One Damn Dime Day.

tizzie - By weird, cosmic coincidence, my girlfriend and the previous girlfriend both share this Thursday as a birthday (which creeped me out when I discovered it). Are we the only people who weren't born on the 20th?!

Apparently my tags were frowned upon. *sigh*

Oh, I'm under no illusions -- this isn't going to be an "effective" way to protest the inauguration, but it's pretty much the only way I can do anything on Thursday. Also, we know that Dubya's gonna get re-sworn-in no matter what we do. At least this way, I have some meager self-satisfaction.

I could definitely do something with all of the steaming bags of dog shit that I collect on a daily basis. I mean, normally I just toss them in the nearest bin, but the local Republican Party HQ is/was right near my apt. I hear they're moving, though.

But yeah, I'll buy some vodka tomorrow night and spend Thursday sipping some and listening to the Mavs game on the radio. Wake up friday morning with the same sense of dread I do every AM.

I got a black-ops pizza party planned with some former spetznaz who're mostly still drunk from Russian Xmas. At the moment, it's all about trying not to get skin cancer from ten minutes unprotected in the sun.

Fortunately, I'm on another continent from the official festivities, so I can walk freely around with my assault-grade weaponry and subversive literature.

But are you gonna get drunk and desecrate a church?

(which, btw, I did not do [hear that, diety?] I was merely looking for a place to relieve my self. They were quite nice.)

Think I might do the Bushblackout thing at the 'bottle, or maybe not. Regardless, Thursday there is Friday here, thank ghod, which means my schedule is something like:

9-6: Work.
6-12: Drink. Possibly swap out index.php. Drink more.
12-shortly thereafter: Dance in my underwear.
Afterthereafter: Sleep the sleep of the just (drubk).

Also, re: birthdays. My first girlfriend was born August 4 1966. I was born August 3 1965. My second girlfriend was born August 4 1964. All three of us had (presumably still have) small birthmarks just to the right of our sternums, north of Nipplevania.

Still makes me scratch my head.

*scratches head*

He's a witch! BURN HIM!

My freshman year in high school, I dated a girl whose birthday was August 29. My sophomore girlfriend was born August 30. My Junior year I spent alone and weeping. And my girlfriend from my senior year of high school was born on August 31.

All my high school girlfreinds were imaginary and thus had no birthdays.

Creepy on the birthday thing. So, this obviously means (from a sample size of 4) that this is an all-too common phenomenon which can only be explained with astrology.

And jonmc - imaginary girlfriends are much cheaper, so you've got that going for you, which is nice.

And they put out whenever you want.

and they like it when you slap 'em on the butt and tell 'em to get you a beer. And they don't talk during The Simpsons.

[Comic Book Guy visits a dating service and grabs all the one-nighter presentation videotapes]

Clerk: Are you going to call all those women?
Comic Book Guy: No, the tapes will do just fine.

Oh, and to answer the question... I'll probably be thinking about finally moving just north of Nipplevania; I hear it's nice this time of year.

Snopes really ought to stick with urban legends, and stay out of the politics.

Well, I'M happy about Thursday, myself.

*ducks*

Will you be having a pizza party then? Because I've taken the liberty of having 20 anchovy pizzas delivered to your house.

*ducks*

Ok, here's my technical question. If I spend money today to have flowers delivered to my mother for her birthday tomorrow, does that count as spending on Wednesday or Thursday?

Not duck, flowers.

What's wrong with a duck?

Senor WonderPollo, I think you should post something truly nasty about the bastard. It would be cathartic for the rest of us, and you're at a safe distance from any possible retribution.

Umm, safer than, say, me. Who has been all over the internets saying how much I hate him, and is now waiting for an ominous knock at the door.

See y'all in Gitm--

*knock knock knock*

!#)*&)DFSLKJ:NO CARRIER

WAR IS PEACE

FREEDOM IS SLAVERY

IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH

TRUTH IS OVERRATED

CHEESE IS DELICIOUS

Have you ever SMELLED AN ANCHOVY????????

ANCHOVIES ARE DELICIOUS

ANCHOVIES ARE NASTY

SALAMI IS DELICIOUS

ANCHOVIES ARE SALAMI

Also, every time I see a picture of Condi Rice, she looks like she should have the blood of tiny wooland creatures dripping from her fangs.

But maybe that's just me.

Also, every time I see a picture of Condi Rice, she looks like she should have the blood of tiny woodland creatures dripping from her fangs.

But maybe that's just me.

Can you spot the subtle difference?

Tiny woodland creatures? Condi could fell an elk.

My husband says elk liver tastes wonderful.

Dunno about elk liver, but I can say in all honesty that both fried gator bites and kangaroo on a stick are quite delicious.

Condi Rice is hella hot!

All politics aside: EWWWWWW! She looks like the vamps on "Buffy" did when they got their game face on.

Speaking of Buffy,

"Anchovies, anchovies,
you're so delicious,
I love you more than
all the other fishes"

Truer words have never been spoken.

Wha? She's like an adorable chipmunk. Only wicked smart! ;)

I just wish I could let Barbara Boxer beat me up as dirtily as she did Der Condi.

mmmm, damn liberal-old-woman crushes.

/me runs from Fes.

Gonna have to respectfully disagree, Fes: Adorable chipmunk vs. The Undead.

Fes, I love ya brotherman. But Condi always looks like she's about to jump over whatever desk she's sitting at and start choking the life out of you.

And that's, y'know, kind of a turn-off.

Angry Hawt!

/me runs from Fes, hollering and involuntarily releasing his sphincter muscles, throwing buckets of anchovies over his shoulder to discourage pursuit.

Also, elk is yummy. Dunno about the liver, but the other bits are pretty good. I prefer moose, myself, though. [/proud (but expat) canajun]

Keep running boys! Mo' Rice for me!!! Bwahahahahahahahah!!!!

OK, enough tomfoolery. SWAP GROUPS:

Group 1: The Troublesome Miscreants
adampsyche
ufez
aine42
chico

Group 2: The Degenerate Blackguards
tizzie
mikrophon
fes
eyeballkid

Group 3: The Unrepentent Ne'er-do-wells
chef
bmarkey
towerbrave
vidiot

bmarkey and towerbrave? Send me your names and mailing addresses, please? My email is below (I guarantee discretion). Once I hear from bmarkey and towerbrave, we go. Any questions, comments, or charges of gross incompetence?

Now if you'll excuse me for a moment, I have to buy a shirt.

aine42, you seemed like you wanted in, so I threw you in. Let me know if that's a problem.

I've got bmarkey's pertinents. Towerbrave, my dear, send along a maildrop and we'll get this trainwreck started.

*stomps her tiny little size 9 feet*

I wanna swap with ColdChef! I wanna swap with ColdChef!

*waaaah waaaaah*

Tizzie, the groups were assembled so as to minimize the possibility of two people who have been in the same swap group before under my swapinistratation not be in the same group this time. It wasn't easy, and in the end, I ended up having to have two people (you and eyeball, Summer Swap of '03) in the same group this time as they had been before.

But Tizzie, I am certain that if you asked Coldchef, he would send you a copy of his disk...?

But of course. Send your address to my email Tizzorino, and I'll send you my love.

That goes for any of you other thunderslutty assmunchkins, too.

I have unregulated access to postage. Bwahaha!

Beware, however, that my tastes run a bit more pedestrian than most of you lugs.

What does that mean for the consumer? More Manilow.

Coldchef, I still listen to your last R&B mix from, when, the late 1970's. It was as good as any I've ever got from anyone.

I'll walk with your pedestrian tastes all over town any day, brother.

Pedestrian is a little gamey...

you need one of them powerwalkers to get the good marble in the meat.

9622.net: Thunderslutty Assmunchkins

And thanks, sweetie pie! I'll send you one of mine, too!

I vote for all of us posting our tracklists once we have 'em nailed down, then we can have the request-a-disc free-for-all...

This is good.

Where are my anchovies???

Festah, I may have to e-mail you a new addy, as I'm moving from my apt. to a good friend's couch soon (temporary, but the price is right). It'll happen at the end of Feb, so if chico, adam, and aine can promise CD's before then, no prob. Else...well, it may be safer that way.

No schwett. Do you know the address now? I can include both when I send out the lists.

Anyone going to be in/near Vegas on Monday evening, April 11?

I just thought I'd BLOW YOUR MIND!

WITH ANCHOVIES!

(stolen from the SA Forums, of course.)

I'm having a seizure now, thankyouverymuch.

A MISCROSFT SEIXURE!

Lord, he's sexy.

Get a load of them bedroom eyes...

I have it on good authority that he rocks back and forth in his seat like a rainman when he goes to restaurants.

I had just cued up a Motorhead CD, when I scrolled down to that picture. Frightening sensory combo plate, that.

Oh, since I din't get to follow up on AskMe:

the results of the haircut.

And the barber's name was....

Hmmmm...specializes in children's haircuts, eh?

I'm very sad to see you didn't go for the cueball.

I tried the cueball once. Made the mistake of doing it in winter. SoCal aint that cold, but clammy cold head knows no geography.

I'm mulling the cueball myself for next summer. This fartass buzzcut I got ain't doing me any favors.

I've done it a couple of times. Not a good look for a man whose neck fat looks like a pack of hotdogs.

My neck looks ok, I'm just worried that my head might be extra denty. I've put it in a few places I, upon reflection, oughtn't have.

No one's going to be in Vegas on April 11 besides me??

No one's going to be in Vegas on April 11 besides me??

That seems highly unlikely.

I meant no fun 9622 monkeys. I can hang out with the dildoes from here at Wolfram and Hart if I have to, I just don't want to.

Well, that's not what you said.

I've always assumed that you could read my mind, ColdChef.

*bats eyes invitingly*

You two need to go to Vegas and get a room.

What gets sodomized in Vegas, stays in Vegas.

*clenches*

OK, I've got everyone's info. Emails go out instanter. It's the 21st - let's say, playlists done by 2/4, disks the week of the 14th? I'll start a thread here in a week to discuss playlists, cover art, who does the suckiest mixes at 9622, etc. Good?

Sweet. Anyone who wants tepid crap from me, email me an address.

Adam, your emailer kicked back to me, send me a working one and I'll forward you the info on your group. The rest of you should have an email from me in your inbox. If you don't, let me know.

I have three.

Hmm. all same? if so, delete two.

You're blowing my mind.

zango!

See -- I knew I ordered that new iBook just in time. Came last weekend. It's like it knew it had to burn 9622 disks.

Now to come up with a good playlist...

*ponders April Vegasing*

btw, for those in my group, the 2nd addy is effective as of the end of Feb, not Feb 1. Damn fester.

But kaf, go, and I mean GO! to vegas. Fes is a fantastic person to share drinks with, and presumably more so when he doesn't have to hang out with the in-laws afterwards.

Additionally, yes, I took this picture just for tizzie.

No, kaf, ponder some New Yorking.

East Coast meast West Coast in an orgy of booze, wit, and cholestreol. We need you here and would treat you like visiting royalty.

You folks have barely two weeks to consider *Mardi Grasing*

Don't even think about coming to Korea. It sucks here.

Also, I'd probably get you drunk and steal your wallet or something.

I'm bored.

*does the nekkid dance*

If you go to Vegas, stay at the El Cortez, the official residence of MeFiVegas '03. Shoddy but hygenic, with only one or two tables with miniums higher than $1, we found it suited our needs perfectly.

Also, the regulars that play there are crazy, the kind of crazy you can see coming. It's just the way Vegas should be.

I've never been to Vegas.

It's a secret shame.

(Now a Google cached shame...)

Nor I, alas...

Can any of you NYC monkeys drive? I say road-trip to Vegas! Picking monkeys up along the way... hum, we'll need a large pink school bus with a heavy metal band on the roof and plenty of Pocky; also playing cards, chewing gum, a ping-pong table, hand-cuffs, binoculars, 9622 Official Monkey Music Mixes, flowers for our hair and sleeping bags.
I'll chip in for gas!

I'm in!

And, when are the swap disks due?

Vegas would be dangerous for me, vidiot & chico. Three cocktails and we'd turn into the Rat Pack.

Or married to each other.

You kids would have to come up here for that, Viddy.

Actually Vidiot, chico would be frank because he's a singer, you'd be sammy and I'd be dean, both for obvious reasons. readymade could be Shirley McLaine and Adam could be Joey Bishop.

Pips has actually said that a summer 9622 convention in Vegas might not be a bad idea since that's when the hotels are cheap.

and here's a link to subject close to mine, and others' heart

btw, for those in my group, the 2nd addy is effective as of the end of Feb, not Feb 1. Damn fester.

Doh! Sorry about that. In my defense, I am a massive stupe.

Adam! Send me your email address.

Kaf, my friend, come to Vegas and let us paint an already pinkish town redder! We'll meet the Rat Pack, steal their smokes and double entendre them into submission! And all while assiduously hitting on every waitress, change girl and towerbrave we chance upon!

Jon, the heart isn't the organ that link is close to.

But Vegas? We could do Vegas like Debbie Did Dallas. rrRRRRWAWRRR!

you'd be sammy

Ah yes, because after all, I am a one-eyed black Jewish man.

And because I'm an even more massive stupe than Fes -- way, way more -- I need to send out e-mails updating my address to my swap partners. FYI.

Ever since I met Vidiot last summer, I've been wondering who it was that he reminded me of, and now I know! Sammy Davis, Jr.! Of course.

Separated at birth, dude.

Cool monkey stuff from my childhood, via Mr. Bali Hai.

Some of you know this, but -- Frank is my real first name. I haven't used it since I began high school and saw a way out from under the nasality of it.

So I'd even answer to it if you called me out, even across a crowded casino floor. Unless I was on a roll.

I wouldn't be happy about it (unless it was Ava Gardner, in which case all bets are off), but I'd answer to it.

Baby.

Yeah -- I've got a good name for yellin' around Vegas, too: Anne Margaret.

Oh, sure... it's not spelled the same, but a lifetime with it gets you all the "Viva Las Vegas" comments you'll ever need.

If you kids do Vegas, I'm there.

It's a short jaunt for me.

Unless salmonberry's there. All kinds of nutty shit happens when she's there. I don't know if I can live through all of that again.

What date are you thinking of? I am going to Hawaii for a week in April.

I am definitely there on Monday, April 11. At the Venetian. One night only. Then it's back to my chain and harness.

Hey EBK, how short a jaunt? 'Cause it's cheaper for me to fly to LA than to Vagas for some reason, and then I could see two great american cities with one stone. Could you take a bus from LA to LV?

Hey EBK, how short a jaunt? 'Cause it's cheaper for me to fly to LA than to Vagas for some reason, and then I could see two great american cities with one stone. Could you take a bus from LA to LV?

RAts!

It's a five hour drive for me, if traffic's good. You could easliy book a bus from LA to LV, I'm sure.

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