9622.net

Constant poo-flinging was often cited as grounds for divorce in such cases.

Story of my life, that is...

test

passed!

diploma!

I'll go fetch the champagne.

you're a grownup now...

...so get to work!

Plan for retirement!

Oh my god, Lupo, it worked. Yayay! You are so good to me. Thank you!

Speaking of Impressive Administrative Feats, did someone just (recently) clear out all the accumulated comment spam? Because whoever did, you, sir (or ma'am) are a God.

Well, among monkeys. So, grain of salt.

Woops, I didn't mean to misspell the email address above, although it's really only there as a spam-catcher while I'm on extended semi-hiatus/occasional-lurker/looking-for-a-new-job status. Bona fide MonkeyFriends are reminded that my real address is philevansATverizonDOTnet, if anyone ever wants to drop me a line.

The goddess who has been cleaning up the spam is our own Dana! Let's give her a big round of applause!

*clap*clap*clap*clap*clap*clap*clap*clap*clap*

It's no trouble, really. Comment spam is IMO the single most annoying thing aside from sand in one's crevasses.

I'm relatively crevasse-free, but even I must admit that unwanted sand can be a total bitchcake.

It's a honkin' big deal, is what it is.

That's a significant undertaking.

And like tizzie, I too have claps for you!

disclaimer: he did not get the clap from me, even though we were roommates for a while :)

I used chico's toilet once. Do I have the clap now too??

You're doomed. I've taken the liberty of notifying the authorities on your behalf, and soon, moon-suited government workers will arrive to seal your apartment off. You know, like Eliot's house in E.T..

Been nice knowin' ya.

someone just told me that aim: SmarterChild is a robot, but it won't talk to me. Wtf?

You people are dissing my pissoir unnecessarily, especially considering how many of you have actually used it (Vidiot, I'm looking right at you) and the minor fact that we're talking about the Pied Piper of Long Island City ridding this fine site of infestation.

My claps, I suppose I must clarify, were palm-specific and especially hygeinic. If I must I shall wrap myself in clingfilm specifically for the purposes of applauding you, dana.

You've made the world, this world, our world, a better and more beautiful place. Again.

I dunno what's going on here, but it makes me feel sexah!

Titties.

Fallopian tubes.

Neck waddle.

Crisco, Icy Hot, and Martha Raye videotapes.

SEXAH!

Overlooked in this conversation is that chico's loo has the intake power of a jet engine. Seriously. I think you could probably flush a few puppies down there without so much as a hiccup.

If you were into that sort of thing.

While I've never had the pleasure of using chicobangs' dooblavay-say, it is legendary throughout much of the eastern seaboard. I envy the power of chicobangs' flush. It makes mine seem utterly inadequate.

I am ashamed.

This seems as good a time as any to mention that my mother once blamed a case of crabs in the '60s on having taken a Berlitz course "in a bad part of town."

Adam is not exaggerating. Chico's is the place where I'd want all my drugs to be when the feds came knocking at the door.

Over the course of about a week back in '86, a hippie chick delivered cases of the crabs to a full 2/3 of the men in my fraternity.

I was in the (un)lucky third, more's the pity. Not for lack of trying either, lemme tell ya. Some girls just don't go for the tortured Byronic antihero types, I guess.

As if we needed one MORE thing for which to envy Chico.

Chico flushes, and the Gods laugh at the rest of us.

Not to sound like a true Johnny-come-lately (ouch) and braggart, but I wish to note that I live upstairs from Chico. And my loo has the same awesome powers of suction that would make John Edwards very happy indeed.

I guess what I mean by all this is that if you have any drugs to dispose of, by all means give them to me.

That John Edwards joke is teh WORST!

I don't get it.

hee-hee.

John Edwards' biggest case, in his plaintiff's lawyer days, was when he won $25M for the family of Valerie Lakey, a little girl who was permanently maimed when a faulty pool drain sucked her intestines out of her body.

Augh! Sometimes not getting it is better.

Um, yes.

Holy shit. Is anyone else getting visuals of the final scene of Aliens: Ressurection?

On the lighter side, ever since moving into my apartment, I've wanted to recreate an activity that I first saw in a 767's bathroom:

I was about nine or ten years old, it was a flight to Europe, and I was capital-B Bored. Everyone was asleep, so I wandered back to the galley at the back of the plane where the flight attendants were hanging out. One of them asked me if I wanted to know a secret. Of course I did, so she told me that the suction on a 767's toilet was incredibly powerful. She demonstrated this by unrolling a length of toilet paper all the way down the aisle, sticking one end in the toilet, and hitting the "flush" button. The zzzzzzzzzzip! as the toilet paper slurped up the aisle was one of the funniest things I've seen.

Perhaps I'll test out the "movie" function of my digital camera and see if the same holds true for my apartment's toilet.

Hey! We can run a length of string between your loo and mine, flush them at the same time, and watch the entire universe fold in upon itself!

I am so there for that.

Ooooh, a rupture in the fabric of the cosmos, with its epicenter at The Lady Patricia.

good luck dana....

The building would become a doorway to netherworld. Like Ghostbusters.

It isn't already?

Well, it's the doorway to someone's netherworld.

Now. Who wants pie?

Keep your pie, chico. I want this shirt instead.

Is there anything in this world as good as cold lomein?

No.

I answered myself.

Cold Singapore Mai Fun, I think.

I have a very strange aversion to eating "hot" foods cold, even pizza. I do not know why this is.

Cold pork lo mein is part of the Breakfast of Champions. Cold pizza and Kellogg's Corn Pops make up the holy triumvirate.

Now. Who's for Tums?

I'm the same way, Jon, with the exception of chicken. Leftover fried chicken is ok. But otherwise, hot food needs to be hot.

aine42, maybe you and I are like the opposite of cats. Everytime I've given a tidbit of hot or even warm food to a cat, they always bat it around for a minute or two before chowing down.

I assume they're making sure it's dead.

Odd. The local strip-mall Chinese place now offers computers and hi-speed access. Take that, Panda Express.

Cold curry and guiness.

Walrus! How delightful to see you! Welcome back. I didn't know how to find you when I was in London in October. How are you?

Hi tizzie! Would have been difficult, since I wasn't in London in October ... although I probably could have made an exception in your case. Am very well thanks ... got a new job and that. And a new flat in Wimbledon. And an internet connection finally. How about yourself? I haven't been on here for ages, so I don't know any news about anyone ...

Oh by the way I lost my walrus website somehow whilst I was away (forgot to renew it to tell the truth and someone had it the minute it expired) ... bit pissed off, because it hasn't even been updated particularly since I was gazumped.

Walrus!

So glad you are around again!

Hi Dan!

Also, 9622.net: Some girls just don't go for the tortured Byronic antihero types.

Hi kaf, stav! Nice to be around again ...

Yo, walrus. Let me join in the welcoming chorus of poo-flinging!

Walrus! Welcome back my tusken pinniped pal!

Wow ... so much poo, what am I gonna do with it all? Better fling a bit back ... dodge this Vidiot ... oops did that hit jonmc? I'm nursing a hangover today, so my aim might be a bit off ;)

Think I'm going back to bed with a cuppa actually. What was I thinking last night? Guiness, wine AND drambuie. Think the drambuie is mostly to blame ...

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