9622.net

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Happy Birthday, kid!

Happy b-day, miz tizzie!

(Should that be thee? Or thou? I don't remember.)

Thou. But Tizzie lives in Kentucky or somewhere so it'd be y'all, right?

happy birthday, tizperson.

Have a hell of a nice birthday, tizzie!

Happy Burfday Tiz! I raise my Jalapeno Popper and Czechvar in your honor.

*bows*

Bah. Who the hell needs birthdays?

Hope you find money.

Bah. Who the hell needs birthdays?

Those waiting to born appreciate them, I imagine ;>

I need a birthday. And money. And some more booze please.

mmmm....Czechvar.

Several booze drinking discussions on MeFi and not a peep. I think Miguel is dead.

Poke him with a stick. Or a nude woman. Or a bottle of Port.

Happy Birthday, fellow Aquarian!

Now what's all this about nude women and Port, then?

They said that when we pull into port there'll be nude women. Ahoy!

Now shut up and keep rowing, dammit!

HARRRR! Jimlad! Bottle of beer?

Happiest of days, Tizzstress (and e-mail me your street addy, I've got something to send you). Here's hoping all went great today.

(and, of course, since I missed out on all the action, a hearty welcome back to Dan!)

Happy happy, tiz, Oh Queen of the Flinging!

Thank you, thank you, to all of the monkeys in the kingdom!

**splat*splat*splat*splat**

Thank god I throw like a girl.

Hapy 29th Birthday, Tizzie my dear!

"Age cannot wither her, nor custom stale her infinite variety. Other women cloy the appetites they feed, but she makes hungry where most she satisfies." -William Shakespeare

...and may it always continue to be thus with you.

Now then: time for a birthday spanking, I believe!

Also: where the hell IS Miguel?? I feel a sense of aimlessness, as if my liege has gone a'falconing and stayed far too long in the field.

we seriously need some spellcheck on this mutha.

Time for the Migs Signal?

And thanks for the love, Fes!

Has anyone seen those commercials for Philly Cream Cheese that show this pretty young woman with a halo and wings eating a bagel with a schmear up on a cloud?

I realize they're trying to say how "heavenly" their product is, but all I can think is: this poor girl is dead. Waht happened? Car Wreck? Homicide?

Which kinda puts you off your bagel...

"I realize they're trying to say how "heavenly" their product is, but all I can think is: this poor girl is dead. Waht happened? Car Wreck? Homicide?"

Worse. She choked on a bagel with cream cheese.

Bestest of the best days, my dearest!

yay for you!

um, link.

It was a good birthday, what with the trip to Rochester and the happy puppies and all.

Almost as good as when I was eight, and my mom took all of my friends to see Mary Poppins at the movie theatre. It was by far the biggest blow-out birthday bash amongst my peers.

I've never been able to top it.

Sally: It's her teeny tiny little bottom, isn't it. Teeny teeny tiny little bottom. Susan's bottom... is full of puppies! Tiny, happy little puppies. That's why she walks like that. Whoof, whoof! In the shower all the little puppies climb out and sing like in Bambi...

Happy Birthday, Miz Tiz!

No garbage plate, though?

Alas, my friend! I was only in Rochester (actually a suburb, maybe, called something like Oneka?!?) for a few hours. No gustatory delights, just a few tears shed when I kissed my babies goodbye and left them, tails wagging, with their happy new families. Bittersweet.

Then we drove as far as Erie PA, and got a jacuzzi suite at the Holiday Inn for ice-cold beer and birthday hubba-hubba.

Ah well, a jacuzzi suite's almost as good as a garbage plate.

(P.S.: Don't tell B. I said that.)

Can we make this thread about how embarrassingly fucking stupid Metafilter has become these days, or would that be bad form?

I want so badly sometimes to just leave it behind (like most of you have), but it's like extricating myself from an abusive relationship : "He's a good maya-an, officuh! He just gets drunk once in a why-ahl. I love him!"

That Ann Coulter thread made me want to eat ass and spit lightning, I swear.

..and it was just a speck of dumbass flyshit in a veritable freakin' hurricane of Teh Stupud.

I'm with you, brother.

You know the worst thing about MetaFilter?

Simon obviously hates the show now, Paula is like some sort of passive Mom-figure who looks for the flowerpetals sticking out of the dogshit, and I swear to jebus that Randy forms his opinion about ten seconds after the performance is over and that it has no relativity to the singer whatsoever. Randy makes the shit up. Is he watching the same show?

Wait. What were we talking about?

To me, MetaFilter will always be like my first girlfriend. Yeah, she's not as fit as she used to be and the people who came after me didn't treat her as well as I did, and maybe she's getting softer and duller...

I'd still mercyfuck her, though.

That Ann Coulter thread made me want to eat ass and spit lightning, I swear.

Oh come on, the song parodies were fun.

sigh.

there, there ;>

Every morning I feel a pang of regret for having committed Mefi seppuku 14 months ago, then every afternoon I read the site and the feeling of regret goes away.

Would it help if told you that you were missed, fes?

Jon, thanks, but we both know that two weeks after I quit, the whole joint was like "Unclewho?" That's the way this world works, man.

Nah, they need intelligent conservatives over there. Badly.

That Ann Coulter thread made me want to eat ass and spit lightning, I swear.

Weird. The Kung Pao chicken I had for lunch made me do that.

And Happy Belated Birthday Tizzie.

Not that either of those are related.

Nah, they need intelligent conservatives over there. Badly.

And I need someone to articulate my thoughts betterthan I do myself, which is what you usually did, brother. And I'm not even a conservative.

there, there ;>

*sniffles, bucks up, heads back into the fray*

I appreciate the compliments, gentlemen, but I can't go back. In light of the fashion in which I left, and the circumstances and people that contributed to it, it would be inappropriate to return.

Anyways, I hang out here and at Monkeyfilter - who needs the gladiator school? Not me. I hung my sabre on the abbatoir door two Novembers ago and have no desire to strap it back on. Growing soft in my dotage, maybe, but hey, collegial is nice, and arguing like rats over a fresh turd accomplishes zip.

If nothing else, can I say that tonight was a bit monumental. Not only did I attend a Mavs game where they actually won (for the first time since last season, a streak of 6 solid games, including playoffs and pre-season), but the local Irish themed trendy pub down the street has begun to stock Stella Artois.

I've missed you, Stella. Let's not do seven years apart again.

Stelllllaaaaaaa!

btw, what the fuck has Stavros been up to?

That'd be Japanese, ufez, a language that I understand even less than I do Korean...

Also, Stella was my grandmother's name. She was a pretty damn cool lady, but then I always saw her through granny-coloured glasses.

Ha, we've got the boobies over there now. I think it elevates our monkey business to a whole new level of sophistication and taste.

*cracks herself up laughing*

Mefi sucks ass, yes. We should start our own site! Waitaminute....

Hell doesn't want us and MeFi's afraid we'll take over.

Hey, that'd make a snazzy tee shirt.

Can't think of a gift for Valentine's day?

Here ya go!

oh and those are at cost people!

ANYWAY.. just thought I'd remind y'all that it's there and we(I?) make 0 money off of it.

What is the origin of the Thundersluts meme, anyways?

I think it was me, but I won't swear to it.

Wow. That's odd. I thought I posted a link to it, but it seems to have disappeared.

That is weird; I saw the link and can attest that you did indeed post it, and now it's gone.

Ah seen it too. Risin' up over the swamp it were, bigger'en life isself!

Did you guys give jessamyn admin privileges here too?!?

ColdChef and the Case of the Disappearing Lynx, A Hardy Boys Mystery.

It was the eve of Mardi Gras, and the Crescent City was at its most convivial. All except one tortured soul, lurking there in the darkness of the cemetery. Since its escape from the Audubon zoo, the creature had moved only in darkness, spending the daylight hours crouched among the crypts. He moved only to catch the rats that saunter, unhurried, by.... to be continued...

Ack, it's my fault, Cold Chef. I'm really sorry. My old iMac burped and died as I was cleaning up spam last night. I didn't know how to find the cache of this page to repost it. Mea culpa!

(also, the iMac has been drinking, not me.)

It's cool. Just wanted to make sure I wasn't losing my mind this early in the potatocream fishty bum.

Hey, I was cleaning off my desk, and I think I found ColdChef's mind!

Or maybe it's leftover birthday cake.

But I can't go back. In light of the fashion in which I left, and the circumstances and people that contributed to it, it would be inappropriate to return.

Jeez, did ya kill a hooker or something?

After a manner of speaking, it sounds like that's pretty much it.

Anyway, I'm now an exile too, Fes! Wuhoo!

So who does a fella have to flash his naughty bits to to get a drink in this expat bar, fergodsake?

I'm sure no one else here but me watches "American Idol" (I only watch the terrible tryouts), but if you did happen to see last night's and thought the guy with the glasses rapping looked familiar, you've probably seen him before.

(And despite what the article says, his rap was sweet.)

If you all keep leaving, pretty soon I'm gonna be holding down the fort all by myself over there, and it's gonna force me become even more insane.

Metafilter Outcast merchandise.

That's where the money's at.

Damn, the shit has hit the fan over there, has it not?

Here's a big hug for my dear roommate, chico! And a stiff drink for me. I had a helluva bad day.

Do ya think there's something in the water?

Hugs to all that had bad days.

I had a perfectly average day, but I did get to see a producer here at work scream while kicking a trash can so hard that it flew about eight feet into the air, sending garbage flying everywhere and coating one of the walls with old Coke.

It's completely nutzoid over there! What the hell happened? People get their corn flakes pissed in by a SG?

People, don't forget to breathe into a paper bag!

Jeez, did ya kill a hooker or something?

Nah, basically, after 2.5 years of being called a murderous barbarian nazi retard, I got this in a *single* post:

"You are such an ignorant fuck of a prick, Fes... I hope you never, ever become a father. That's some sick and twisted shit you've got going....You've been a real nasty piece of shit in this thread. Once again, fuck you you fucking fucked fucker."

I typed and deleted ten or more responses to that, but in the end I figured, who needs it? That was enough. Welcome to the club, Chico! The list of members is both long and distinguished, and you are very welcome.

At least he left my mother out of it :)

Happy (Belated) Birthday, tizzie!

I'm lurking at MeFi. Waiting. They'll all get comfy, thinking they can just post politics and stuff....thinking it's all theirs for the taking...then *BAM!*....I'll be posting links to interesting...oh, who am I kidding? I've been spending a lot of time at del.icio.us instead these days. I feel kinda badly for matt, I think what we're seeing is just the nature of the growth there. Hopefully he can find some kind of revenue stream that helps him dedicate more time to keeping the place civil.

And of course, I blame the newbies. Just cause they're the easiest target, really.

Hey, kids. Another MeFi refugee here...mind if I pull up a chair?

(And Ufez? Dallas gets Stella once I leave? Meh.)

I'm such a crackhead.

Let me get you a bandaid for that.

*raises big banner: "Welcome Mefi Exiles: See front desk for vodker and bandaids"*

*accidentally hits amadaudoff with banner*

*runs away*

Fes, if someone called me an "ignorant fuck of a prick," I think I'd have to have a t-shirt made. Or at least a bumper sticker. I mean, really, that's impressive.

*runs away*

VODKER!

Fes, you're our murderous barbarian nazi retard now!

I'm happy to have newcomers. It means 9622 officially has more women than mefi.

Ah, ya pussies. i've been called everything but a Rueben Sandwich over there, and half the time they were right, but despite my occasional threats of leaving, I'd never give any of the Asshole Brigade the satisfaction.

meow!

So who does a fella have to flash his naughty bits to to get a drink in this expat bar, fergodsake?

*clears throat noisily, points to 50 foot high, neon blinking 'Flash romakimmy, Get a Drink' sign*

jon, ya big friggin' Reuben sandwich...

*flashes romakimmy*

*receives drink*

*holds emesis pan for romakimmy*

*repeats*

*completely removes pants, adjusts tie, orders a round for the house*

And Ufez? Dallas gets Stella once I leave? Meh.

At Trinity Hall, no less, so you can catch a movie and a pint or eight and call it an evening.

OH SHIT!

So jonmc, if rice pudding was code for high-stakes gambling, was "going for a pastrami sandwich and a deep-fried Mars bar" the prostitute and an 8-ball combo?

So who ya got for the game?

The Giants aren't in it, so the question is largely academic to me, but as someone New England born, I'll go with the Pats.

damn, I hope that place doesn't close down.

Crooked or not, their pudding is damn good. And I'm just about out of the futuristic space-age Tupperware it comes in.

I loved that place! Vidiot and Chico took me there for our first date.

~memories, misty water colored memories~

Oh fudge, aine, I just deleted your last post. Please forgive me.
(I'm trying to get a handle on this-ere despamning thing, I promise, I'll have my certification after I finish one more correspondence course.)

sucks, don't it?

Damn! I knew I should have worn the tearaway pants on Casual (and Vig-Free) Friday!

Well, I hope my boss doesn't come in. I wouldn't want to scare her, eh?

TJ, It was either this or HVAC repair. I'm starting to have second thoughts.

chico, what's a Vig?

The vig is the interest you have to pay to a loanshark. Obviously, you've never seen "Get Shorty."

The vig.

(by the way, Dana & J-po: if you need anyone to help out with de-spamming around here, I can help out too.)

Thanks for explaining that. For some reason I thought it had a sexual connotation. But then again, everything has a sexual connotation to me.

For once, an "ever-increasing percentage off the top" is completely non-sexual.

(Audit my spreadsheets, baby!)

You can lay my odds anytime.

You're killing me here.

(You know (he said)... on Saturdays? The vig comes back.)

Good to see everyone posting vigorously.

My eldest child called me today and asked me who I picked for the Super Bowl, and I panicked thinking "who the hell is playing?" So I had to bluff and say that I didn't really have a favorite, and asked him who he was rooting for. Thus, now I know that it's the Philadelphia Somebodys and the New England Patriots.

Go, Bears!

All this smut talk and vig-talk, yet no mention of the saucy one himself?

No, I didn't pick *that* picture just for the URL...why?

He's too sexy for his necktie.

dana -- don't worry about blowing up my comment. I think I did the same thing to someone on my blog this morning while cleaning out the spam.

But NY monkeys -- you're still going to have to keep me posted on whether or not anything happens to Rice to Riches. If my next trip to NYC (whenever that may be. hopefully soon) is gonna be rice pudding-free, I should probably know that ahead of time. It's so embarrassing to break down sobbing in front of the empty storefront.

Well, if there's no rice pudding, we can always get you a deep-fried peanut-butter-and-bacon sandwich.

Well, ok. But only if it comes in futuristic tupperware.

I have extra futuristic tupperware if we need it.

He does. He stole it from me. Quasi-futuristic bastard.

I most certainly did NOT!

I stole many things from you during my stay there, my good man, much of which you don't seem to have missed yet, but I quite definitely made a point of leaving you incredible and utterly covetworthy preservation containers unpillaged.

Also I'm drubk so maybe I forgot something.

Well, if there's no rice pudding, we can always get you a deep-fried peanut-butter-and-bacon sandwich.

One time, up in Michigan of all places, I had beer cheese soup covered with bacon bits and I proclaimed it The Perfect Food (Cheese! Beer! Bacon!!!) Now, it seems, there's some competition...

In Michigan, I also had for the first time one of those lettuce wedges with blue cheese. I wanted to post about it in the "life changing moments" AskMe thread, but it seemed out of place what with all the stories of hellish childhoods and all. So, I guess the soup could have been better if it had incorporated some blue cheese. I'd so eat my own head if you put enough blue cheese on it...

American food scares me sometimes.

This from a resident of the land of back bacon and poutine. ;>

Which should tell you people something.

Ain't that the damn truth.

WoooHOOO, you should see the hillbillies at the Kentucky Mardi Gras down here. I just took my dear old dog Max out for a pee before bed, and he managed to miss the two big old pavement pizzas on the sidewalk across the street.

I somehow failed to warn the young debutante in her strappy heels that she was about to step in it. Hey, whaddoo I look like, a traffic indicator?

I heard a turd on your shoe adds character.

And someone just won Miss Congeniality!

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