9622.net

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**big smooch for Crash Davis**

If nothing else, I have my finger on the pulse of the simian community.

Speaking as a member of that community, we would like you to kindly take it the fuck off. You press too hard and your hands smell like transmission fluid and cheap sausage.

And no, no job yet, but my pr0n collection is increasing exponentially.

Careful, man. You get carpal tunnel syndrome and there's no chance for worker's comp.

"And no, no job yet, but my pr0n collection is increasing exponentially."

Well, that whole "get a computer tech diploma instead of a law degree" thing is starting to look a hell of a lot smarter now, I tell you.

OK, I have a question which is also, I suspect, sex-related.

The guy who is painting my house showed up this morning with a giant hickey on his neck. So I'm like, "Nice hickey, Ben." And he says, "I earned it."

Back in my day, hickeys were bad. But now you earn them? I don't get it.

Back in my day, hickeys were bad

Depends on how you look at it. Getting caught with one by, say, your parents or your boss was bad, but the process of recieving a hickey is quite nice.

The guy who is painting my giant hickey had a house on his neck.

who lives in the neck house, chef?

I suppose that's better than an evil second head.

Speaking of evil heads, would someone please stop all the pounding in mine?

Oh, sure, it's a self-inflicted hell I live in, but I would like someone else to fix it. Thank you. (I'm too old to party like a rock star any more. Ugh.)

aine42, dear, the key is to never stop drinking.

Ah. Knew I was forgetting something.

Ooh. And suddenly a bloody mary sounds really, really tasty.

I'm lucky that way. Today's laundry day, but my laundromat is right across the street from a nice hole-in-the-wall bar. I spent an hour sucking down Buds and palavering with the Venezuelan bartender. When I put "Suspicious Minds," on the juke both he and the Maltese (I found out later) senior citizen two stools down started singing along. Nice moment.

Whether or not you sing along to Suspicious Minds happens to be my litmus test for being my friend.

And you come down on which side -- to sing or not to sing?

oh, my. to sing of course!

Figured so, but just wanted to be sure you weren't one of the weirdos. ;)

OK, everybody, 1 and a 2 and a 3:

We're caught in a trap
I can't walk out....

Get that lip goin'. Not no fool Billy Idol lip, neither.

Today they've got me working on the Lords Of Dogtown soundtrack album.

I'm in my own personal heaven right now.

Why does anyone needs a fictionalized Z-Boys movie? They should have just spent half that money promoting and distributing the real thing.

ColdChef! 14 Tony nominations for Spamalot! You have your finger on the pulse of the American musical theatre, my friend.

I agree with you on the movie, but the soundtrack is pretty fuckin' badass, you have to admit.

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