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That is just about the best thing I've ever seen.

Ummm...does that duck have a beard or is he chewing a paper towel? I'm sure that Sgt O'Howler Monkey will fix his wagon good.

My favorite part: In a bomb threat situation a monkey is not going to freak out about the green wire or blue wire and which wire should be cut. The monkey will just pull all the wires out and if it blows up we'll get another monkey.

Not that I advocate monkey explosions or anything.

Didya see Dana's new digs? Classy and chic. We are impressed.

I don't feel so good. But I had a strange day yesterday, capped by an acid-trip level lucid dream ivolving mysterious houses, gigantic White Castle factories, and topless women sitting by moving highways, and I mean that the highway moves like a conveyor belt through the landscape.

Maybe somebody put something in my drink.

Has 9622 become the neglected dog to the newly arrived MeCha puppy? Here 9622, go get the ball. Go ahead boy, go get it! Good boy. Who wants to go for a walk?

MeCha is so far beneath us that I can't really address it. After all, we have the horizontal scrolling that they can only dream of.

look away from them! look. away.

slack-a-gogo? email me your mailing address for the swap, would you?

When do the swap lists come out?

Swap *list*, my dear. It's just going to be about six of us. I'm still waiting on a couple addresses (ahem), then out they go.

Which is to say, probably later tonight.

Great! The more new music, the merrier.

That's what most people say, until they get my Attila the Stockbroker's Greatest Hits compilation.

I'm working on my mix right now. "Bagpipe songs about Proper Nutrition."

It's got a nice beat and you can dance to it.

I'm thinnning my usual smorgasbord of Journey with a wee dab of Loverboy and a soupçon of Christopher Cross.

I'm thinking of going all Canadian, so you kids can look forward to a real feast of Celine Dion, Brain Adams and I Mother Earth. Oh boy!

I think Rush is Canadian, too!

For truth! I once served popcorn to Geddy Lee.

Man, that's like having the opportunity to go back in time and kill Hitler.

Or at least spill a coke on him.

You best watch what you say, kaf, or they'll make you apologize just like your buddy Durbin.

Yeah, apologize, you Rush-hating nogoodnik!

*hums "Spirit of Radio" ferociously*

as an aside, we're putting together a coalition of Illinois Republicans to go to Dick's office and give him a much-needed wedgie. Will it be atomic? My sources say "ask again later." Later I asked again, and my sources said: "You may rely on it."

Ya know, fes, you and your wedge-mob are no better than the Nazis.

...Or my gradeschool gym teacher Mr. Dobrozielsky.

Take that back! *sniffle*

True story: my sophmore year gym AND behind-the-wheel teacher's name was "Mr. Meatus."

MEATUS?!?

Ewww!

When I was in middle school, we called our coach "Bull-Nut" because they frequently swung from the bottom of his shorts when he hiked one leg up on the bench.

My wife cringes when I refer to this man as "Bull-Nut."

That was his name. We didn't wear it out. But at least he never showed us his nuts.

Did vile discharges often ejaculate from the maw of Meatus?

I apologize to the entire world.

Don't you dare talk like that about Meatus' maw!

I'm sure she was a lovely woman.

No problem.

Drop and give me twenty, lard asses!

*drops, pants*

(or was that supposed to be *drops pants*?"

Breakfast Time!

Great, now I have THAT song running through my head. Although it does have the lyric that I think will speak to future generations:

Eat a cow
Eat a cow
Cause it's good for you
Eat a cow
Eat a cow
It's the thing goes mooooooo.

That is so true.

Hey, that's a Rev song (the Eat Steak one). It's also, lamentably, in a Boston Market Commercial.

Well, ufez, to be fair, putting that in a steak commercial is really a no-brainer, and neither I nor the Rev. mind. Although they could've done better than Boston Market.

I thought Boston Market went out of business. At least the one by my office did, and is now a Skyline Chili.

You all know about Cincinnati chili, right?

Six amusing hours of everything you've eaten in the last three days launching itself at around light-speed from the nearest orifice, right?

From the nearest meatus, good sir.

Trunk Monkey!

Was it my imagination, or did I see a parody-type ad with a trunk monkey trying to bribe a cop? It would have been an actual ad, but I may have been drunk or dreaming at the time.

Cop-bribing is a delicate and sensitive operation, best left to the higher orders of ape, and masochists.

When I visited Cincy many years ago my friend took me to Skyline Chili (3 times in 2 days) and told me that I would forever be craving it like a junkie craves the horse. And he was right. Since then a few Cincinnati style chili places have opened up around Chicago, but none of them satisfy the way a bowl of Skyline 4-way does. Damnit, now I'm going to think about this all day.

I love Skyline Chili. A friend of mine brings back cases of it when he goes on tour in the midwest. You can't get it here.

Damn you, ufez, for introducing me to the first viral ad campaign I LOLed at.

You guys, we missed the Gorilla baby naming ceremony.

Oh, let's be frank: We would have come up with names like, oh, Harpo or Rosencrantz or Boutros-Boutros or Hamster or Kafkaesque-esque or something.

Really, they did a fine job with the naming. And hey, twins is great news! (Isn't they?)

Dissenting opinion here: I've never had Skyline Chili, but Pips lived in Cincinatti for a few years and said she found it utterly repellent. "Chili is not supposed to be sweet," is how she put it.

Agreed. Gimme Texas style, big hunks of steak covered in hot red sauce, some shredded cheddar and a dollop of sour cream.

All chili must have beans. This is my first commandment.

Also, do not covet thy neighbor's sour cream, for it is sour and it is cream and it belongth not on chili.

Skyline's not really "sweet," jonmc. Maybe a few years just isn't long enough to acquire the taste!

And where are the pictures of those twin baby gorillas? I have searched these internets high and low for the baby animal cuteness!

Miguel would have found them for me. He knew my weakness.

Mmm. Skyline Chili. We've got a place here in Milwaukee that comes very, very close, but it's not quite the same.

If it wasn't 90 degrees out, I'd have gone to Chili for lunch today. But it's just too hot to eat a big, filling bowl of the stuff. I pretty much live there in winter, though. It was very dangerous when I lived 3 blocks from their campus location and then a few years later, worked 2 doors down from their other place.

Typical cajun; always taking a perfectly good dish and fucking it up with beans.

If you want beans in your spicy beef stew, by all means put them in there, but don't try to call the food that results "chili".

/purist

Remind me not to invite the Commish over for Red Beans and Rice.

Unless he really, really likes rice.

Mmmmmmmmm, red beans and rice. I'll have the Commish's share!

And about this, well, I'm sure he has a good explanation.

Heh. I was gonna link to that too, but with a plaintive "gee, look who got a cool new job" caption.

Hysterical. :)

Dejah!

Chef!

Hey, you have to have hobbies.

Why did I read that as "Hey, you have to have boobies."?

Because boobies often count as hobbies?

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