It's a comic. With a drunken monkey. What more could you ask?
Posted to the 'Miguel' category because I miss him.
Posted by mr_crash_davis at August 14, 2005 08:48 PMThis really pisses me off. And not just because of you-know-who.
Posted by: tizzie on August 15, 2005 12:02 PMThat's such a brainfuck, tizzie.
True story:
I have a client that lives in a highrise in trendy uptown Dallas, just a piss-shot north of Downtown. I've no idea what the dog is, but I was riding in the elevator with her and a bleach-bottle blonde that gushed over the dog saying "is that a maltese-poodle mix".
My reaction was: "I really don't know. She's obviously a poodle mix of some sort....why?"
Her: "Oh, those maltese poodle mixes are so hard to find right now...they command a lot of money".
I just bit my tongue to death. One of these days the glitterati will realize that dogs aren't fashion accessories. Until then, may they choke on my tadpoles swimming betwixt their molars.
Posted by: ufez on August 16, 2005 12:57 AMSadly, monkey-picked tea is but a name.
From this page http://hem.bredband.net/steverud/teabookreviews.html
"Another sign of warning that this might not be a good book to buy is the page that deals with monkey picked tea. The myth says that in some provinces, specially trained monkeys pick the tea, and this is a prevailing myth. Such tea does not (according to my sources in rec.food.drink.tea) exist and never have."
And here http://www.grandtea.com/scripts/prodView.asp?idproduct=99
"Monkey Picked is one of the finest Oolong tea. The name come from the myth that monkey was employed to harvest wild tea from high dangerous and inaccessible cliff."
But...we can dream!
Posted by: kaf on August 16, 2005 11:01 AMmay they choke on my tadpoles swimming betwixt their molars
What an awful image. Thank you.
Posted by: ColdChef on August 16, 2005 11:21 AMNo worse an image than spoiled-brat rich girls throwing away their out-of-fashion dogs like last year's Manolos.
Posted by: tizzie on August 16, 2005 01:19 PMLast Year's Manolos is the name of my Kylie Minogue cover band.
Posted by: dana on August 16, 2005 01:41 PMBut - but - I linked to this ad for Monkey Picked Tea over a year ago. You callin' me a liar?
Posted by: yhbc on August 16, 2005 01:51 PMWe actually have some monkey-picked tea at work and, I assure you, it tastes only marginally like dirty monkey fingers. But who am I to say? Yes, yes, Virginia, there is a monkey tea-picker.
Posted by: kaf on August 16, 2005 02:52 PMA bee stung me today. On the achilles tendon. This would be the second bee stinging me this month. I killed the first, but chalked the entire episode up to fate, a drive-by if you will. This one escaped to go brag to his little buzzy pals. This affront cannot go unavenged. I returned to scene and spotted all the little bees just laughing it up over the recent stinging, flying around and smacking each other on their little yellow and black asses, doing tiny high-fives, talking smack. So, as a little appetizer, I gave them a teeny spritz of my favorite cheapass bugzap, the not-quite-EPA-approved kind that disrupts their infinitesimal electrical systems and drops their fool asses right out of the sky. A little taste for you, my honey-making friends! Tomorrow morning, when you're all still sleepy from the evening's rest, I'm coming with a bucket of kerosene, a whiffleball bat, and some M80s. And we. Will have. Some REAL fun then, homies.
Fuckers.
Posted by: Fes on August 17, 2005 12:03 AM“You don't know what the monkey eat until the monkey shit.” A great article about Kinky Friedman in the New Yorker.
Ufez, please vote for him on my behalf, OK? I mean, the man loves mutts.
Posted by: tizzie on August 17, 2005 09:21 AMFes, you have my support in this struggle against your faceless bee oppressors, but the fight is in vain. They are legion, and strong.
Posted by: kafee's gold on August 17, 2005 10:32 AMOoh. I think I'm feeling a return trip to NY coming on.
Posted by: aine42 on August 17, 2005 02:48 PMA vain, doomed fight against a strong, faceless legion? I'm gonna need more M80s! Bwahahahahahahaha!
Posted by: Fes on August 18, 2005 01:00 AMBee Fight Update: they still live. I got busy doing other things today during the last day of my three-day Mr. Mom extravaganza. Also: turns out, upon inspection, that it was two (two!) stings. My ankle has grown to fetlockian proportions. Bastards! My strong yet angular ankles are one of my finest features! AND a bee (presumably from a different crew, but still) tried to land on my son on the way to school! OK, it's one thing to come after me - it's QUITE another to send hired stingers after my family. I swatted him down, then gave him the stomp. Clock's tickin' on his employers. I'm going to salt that nest with liquid death and flaming hellion bitchcakes.
Posted by: Fes on August 18, 2005 01:12 AMKeep talking, you painted cockroaches. Your teeny asses are grasses, and I am the lawnmower of DOOM, punks.
Posted by: Fes on August 18, 2005 10:49 PMResistance is futile. Your pollen will be assimilated.
The meatsack you consider your "body", however, we really don't care about at all. You're just in our fucking way too much.
Posted by: Hive #29874181987 1/3 on August 18, 2005 11:03 PMA note about posting images:
We encourage users to post images, especially those hilarous pics of monkeys
wearing dresses or programming for Linux. But posting images that reside on someone
else's server is considered by many to be bandwidth theft. Our thoughts
on the matter, along with some solutions to the problem, can be found
here. Thanks.
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