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OK, here's the list they gave me.
My Name is Earl
Prison Break
Kitchen Confidential
Invasion
Surface
How I Met Your Mother
Out of Practice
Commander in Chief
Bones
Supernatural

Should I tune in? Am I missing anything?

they all seem to be new shows for this season.. personally, I don't care I gots hockey to watch tonight

I didn't know there were other shows besides the Red Sox.

Commander in Chief looks promising. No clue on any of the others. Except for Kitchen Confidential and My Name is Earl, which look bad.

I see that My Name Is Earl commercial and all I think is "Flieschmann? Joel Flieschmann? Where's Maggie?"

Also, some desperate part of me wants Invasion to be good or even marginally non-terrible, but I doubt it will be.

Interesting is the fact that, in this climate of paranoia and general scaredness, there are so many You're Being Plotted Against! kind of shows.

Oh, and How I Met Your Mother looks like it has Doogie Howser in it, which is not necessarily good or bad.

Also I for some unknown reason watched the post-Simpsons fare on Fox the other night. The new Married with Children clone was all Hey Look at Me! I'm contraversial! And I have that guy from that one movie! You know! Was it Higher Learning?! Or Something?

And then there were Family Guy and American Dad. They were both kind of meh, but I was surprised at how old I am now, because I was thinking how offensive they were.

I've heard of the Earl thing via jodic, but all the others are totally like WTF?

I tivo'd and watched Bones tonight, and it was a freshly popped largish zit of noisome suck. It was briefly fun to watch a gaggle of self-important turdburglars say idiotic things like "Let them in, Mr. Homeland Security - they're forensic anthropologists!" and "What do I have here? A piece of paper!" (to another fed who was asking for the results of, well, some sort of forensic anthropological test or something). That fun exhausted itself pretty quickly, and over to The Apprentice: Martha Stewart I went. Woot!

Apparently on that show, Doogie Howser has a blog. Which tells me that the role was written for Wil Wheaton, who must have turned it down, and that will give you an idea of how good that show is.

Also: whenever I see the word "turdburglar," a little voice in my brain goes robble robble robble.

Again and again, my decision to not have a TV proves that I too can be smart and clever.

Normally about one a decade.

Speaking of which, why didn't any of you tell me me haircut back in 1988 was terrible? I count on you people to be the Unflinching Voice.

I was surprised at how old I am now, because I was thinking how offensive they were.

I find shows like "Biggest Losers" and "Extreme Makeover" to be so much more offensive.

And the Martha Stewart thing makes my nads climb up into my body, where it's too warm for sperm to survive, lest I bring forth innocent life to suffer on this godforesaken rock.

(But does anyone watch "The Ultimate Fighter"? It's the only reality show I've ever been able to watch. Imagine: that guy you hate, the one who got drunk and accused his roommate of stealing his tshirt? Well, by the end of the night he may end up with multiple facial fractures!)

"I learned that 'Rappers Delight' by Sugar Hill Gang was the first rap single in 1979," she explained before introducing Diddy. "Rap was a word that originally meant talking to a girl, derived from conversation."

If I had nads right now, they'd be all "Paratroops over the side!"

Creepiest part about the Martha Stewart show: her tagline. Whereas Trump's is the now-ubiquitous "You're fired!", Martha's is a subtly malevolent "You don't fit in." Very Shirley Jackson.

I find shows like "Biggest Losers" and "Extreme Makeover" to be so much more offensive.

Oh, no doubt, that's true. And nothing is as degrading on every level as having that carpenter guy show up and film you while you cry. I was just thinking How would I explain all these masturbation jokes to a kid?

(Without a bottle of Jack Daniel's and an October 1977 issue of Oui?)

GREAT issue.

GREAT issue

"How to Seduce Your Aerobics Instructor"

and

"Do the Hustle...Nude!"

There were articles?

And don't forget the cartoons!

I think my favorite thing in Playboy was The Playboy Advisor, where everyone seemed to want to know the best type of cartridge replacement for their hi-fi.

Apropos of zippo, I just referenced Seurat's La Grande Jatte in a cover letter to a prospective employer.

I'm not well. Not well at all.

Hopefully the employer will get the point.

I think my favorite thing in Playboy was The Playboy Advisor, where everyone seemed to want to know the best type of cartridge replacement for their hi-fi.

That was in code, you fool!

I liked the cartoon with the dominatrix with the torpedo boobies. I think Witchstone later played that role in a revival off-Broadway.

OK, I have a question. Or two. Or three. When does Bill Frist get his own TV show? What is the difference between Martha Stewart and the senate majority leader?
Or, just, wtf?

Vidiot: Bwahahahaha!

Took me two readings to get it.

Can anyone identify what's on the TV in the photo above?

I think that's an episode of Quincy.

Thank you. Will you be spending Sunday in the park with George?

I have bested another hurricane.

That is all.

Hurricanes are so over, dude. No one cares any more.

We recorded the first episode of "My Name is Earl" and watched it last night. Pretty funny; would watch again. I was less impressed with "Everybody Hates Chris".

I did lose an arm in the storm! Hello! Hello? Someone love me?

I Tivoed "My Name is Earl." Nothing like watching a show about a freeloading good-for-nothing redneck with a house full of freeloading good-for-nothing rednecks.

It showed promise, so I got a season pass.

I will, however now be deleting "Joey." I was only Tivo-ing it because I liked most of the female characters. The "retooling", though has absolutely ruined it, though, as I will admit, it was hardly a good show to start with.

I am also radically re-ordering my Netflix list. Because as much as I want to see "Russian Ark" or "Love! Valour! Compassion!", I don't want to watch them with my mother-in-law.

Everybody Hates Chris

*sob*

For some reason, my Tivo refuses to record "Outland."

And apparently, Keen Eddie is not being broadcast on any channel anywhere, which is just wrong in some fundamental sense. I believe it was Gene Simmons of KISS who first opined: Dress British, Think Yiddish.

*tips bowler to Miguel, wherever he is!*

I believe that Miguel is probably dead.

He has ascended to a higher plane.

Didn't we do these jokes already?

Alternatively, stop forking with my head - it's a tenuous grasp on reality I've got here, but it's mine, damnit!

I believe that Miguel is probably dead.

*tear falls into Vidiot's Sapphire & Tonic*

Across the land, reports of sightings are setting the wires abuzz. One man in the hurricane ravaged gulf coast tells the tale of a kindly stranger who he describes only as "debonair...so debonair", who saved his cockapoo and eight turtles from certain death.

"I remember the cigar, and the martini...and I want to say beer nuts here. Is that what those things are called?"

*assumes lotus, levitates, eyes go lambent green*

I have not felt a disturbance of that magnitude in the force, ColdChef. Miguel lives.

File under "Idiotic Things I Do For The Company": I just purchased this.

Worst aspect: this completes the set.

Looks like someone's headed for Sensitivity Training.

All's I know is, there's a steer in Oklahoma that sitting down to pee right now, because I just have to have the proper prizes for the company golf tournament.

See our eBay store for other BULL PENIS items such GAVELS, WALKING STICKS, GOLF PUTTERS, CANES & SCROTUMS.

As if I need another reason to bid on scrotums.

9622.net: another reason to bid on scrotums

Scrotums are one of those things you don't want to run out of even if you already have one. It always helps to have a spare.

(Did that sound gay? I didn't really mean it to sound gay. Or hetero-gangbang-ish even. I meant it more as a, "It's good to have a spare set of balls if the ones I've got go somewhere. But I might need some carpentry nails if that happens...")

On the TV front: "Kitchen Confidential" was pretty meh, considering it's based on a f'in fantastic book. I'll give "How I Met Your Mother" and "Bones" about six episodes or so based on their Buffy alumni credentials. Although I doubt I'll ever be able to watch an episode of "Bones" without thinking, "just bite her neck already!" The Party of Five-ish soundtrack (Listen! Right here! This is where you’re supposed to feel something!) isn’t helping.

Before and after.

The second episode of "My Name is Earl" was not as good as the first, but it's still better than 99% of the crap out there.

Meanwhile, the re-tooling of "Joey" made something that was not-that-bad into something that is God-Awful and nearly unwatchable, except for it's "trainwreck" qualities.

It's so bad, that I'm not sure that it isn't being shit-canned on purpose. The "Hollywood" elements of the show seem like they were written by someone with no experience whatsoever in the process of making films.

I mean, he shows up for his first day of shooting and he has no idea who his costars are?

Truly awful.

Agreed;
agreed.

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