9622.net

The cuteness of him is more than I can bear.

*rimshot*

coz you so dumb you thought Bling-Bling was a panda!

/got nothin'

That bear looks ticklish.

Ticklish? Looks to me like that sicko handler has her fist up his ... oh, the horror!

You tickle your way, I'll tickle mine.

That bear would shred your entrails before you could say "bamboo".

"It's safe to put your bananas back out."

Right in my 'hood! Shoulda come to my house, silly creature. We always have room for one more.

"La ricerca di - "chuck e. cheese" "cock ring" - non ha prodotto risultati in nessun documento."

Don't ask.

Ciao!

Romauffezi! The visit has begun.
Uh-oh, better give Uncle Fes a tranquilizer.

And we want pictures.

If I may be so bold as to quote signora kimmy:

"I don't even know how to begin to explain Chuck E. Cheese or cock rings, much less Chuck E. Cheese cock rings".

Loretta Lynn was involved.

*seethes with jealousy*

My envy will be assuaged in direct proportion to the lasciviousness of the shoutouts.

I *knew* those ass shoutouts last year were gonna be tough to top.

But I have full faith in your abilities to do so, mio angelo.

*raises one spocklike eyebrow, stifles a leer*

I just want it noted that if I was a cat-dog-fox-monkey-lemur,
I too would hide from the paparazzi.

I just want it noted that if I was a cat-dog-fox-monkey-lemur, I too would hide from the paparazzi.

Got that?

that bear is a poor bear, i wish that i could have it as a pet! i feel so sry for it:(

9622.net: scampering unselfconsciously through the leafmould.

Liam!

Limited time offer:

If any of you doofuses (doofi?) want a copy of my annual Christmas CD, send me an email with your address. It's chock full of holiday horror, including a chorus of cats singing "Carol of the Bells". It's as terrible as you would imagine.

(Also included, PinkStainlessTail's holiday nightmare: "Jingle Rock Bell.")

If any of you want a copy of my annual Christmas porno entitled: She Came Upon a Midnight Clear just let me know.

*tentatively looks around, raises hand*

Er, one please.

Other titles in the Witchstone Holiday Porno series:

I Saw Mommy Blowing Santa Claus
Jingle Balling
Good King Wenceschlong
The Little Hummer Boy
How the Gunch Stole Christmas
The Island of Misfit Toys
A Christmas Whore-y
It's a Wonderful Lay
Yulelogjammin'

And, of course, (sing along everybody!)

I'm Dreaming of a Tight Anus.

(too far?)

God bless us, every one :)

You forgot the seasonal ballad,"It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Goatse," by Fred Ass-tear.

boo

The rather distressing lack of sprightly images and lewd shoutouts from the Eternal City gives me no small measure of consternation.

I would much prefer sprightly shoutouts and lewd images, myself...

By the way, here's the track listing for my annual Christmas cd. Not that anyone asked.

1 The Day It Snows On Christmas-Allen Toussaint 3:16
2 Peace In the World-The Subdudes 4:04
3 Gloria-MercyMe 4:12
4 Christmas for Cowboys-Jars of Clay 2:49
5 I Want to Spend Christmas With Elvis-Debbie Dabney 2:15
6 Louisiana Santa-Wayne Toups 3:47
7 Blue Christmas-Tammy Wynette 2:30
8 Merry Christmas, Baby-Christina Aguilera & Dr. John 5:43
9 Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer-The Brady Bunch 1:10
10 All I Want For Christmas Is You-Olivia Olson 3:27
11 Christmas Without the Creole-Irma Thomas 4:31
12 Donna and Blitzen-Badly Drawn Boy 4:19
13 Put a Little Love in Your Heart-Dolly Parton 2:27
14 Lonely Without You (This Christmas)-Mick Jagger 2:37
15 O Come All Ye Faithful-Art Garfunkel 2:10
16 I Got A Used Kazoo For Christmas-Benny Grunch & The Bunch 3:41
17 Frosty the Snowman-The Brady Bunch 1:49
18 Santa Put The Hurt On You-Benny Grunch & The Bunch 3:11
19 We Wish You A Merry Christmas-Willie Nile 1:34
20 Carol of the Meows-Guster 1:23
21 Another Auld Lang Syne-Dan Fogelberg 5:20
22 Jingle Rock Bell-P. S. Tail, Esq. 2:33

Don't take it personally, Chef. This community is a bunch of slackers and lollygaggers (well, *some* type of gaggers, anyway).

I would love a copy of the CD, but George Soros won't let me. Rules of war, and all that.

ColdChef, you're missing a crucial song: All I Want for Christmas Is a Soldier Coming Home, by Nashville mystery band XMAS-BALLS.

Watch that and tell me why America has such a hard time believing Kenny Chesney is gay.

heya folks-
guess what--- I'm still employed! even got me a promotion! (although who in their right thinks I'm management material -- it is very Office Spacey)

ok, back to whippin' the minions!

This community is a bunch of slackers and lollygaggers

Lupo, I can barely muster the energy to dispute that.

Hey, on an entirely unrelated note, did you read Dana's favorite story of the year? I'm reading away this morning, and suddenly I realize, I went to grade school with the kid's dad. Small freaking world.

Ah, quit yer grousin'. I finally puked up some pics here.

I woulda sworn the Chuck E. Cheese cock ring would've been tittilating enough for you. There's something wrong with y'all.

Is this going to be the lewdist one? I mean, it's nice and all, but I was hoping for something a little more, I dunno, pleathery?

also: congrats, Mighty Tay Hota! If you need someone to sharpen pencils, fetch coffee, eliminate enemies, &c., let me know. I also have compooter skillz.

Congratulations!

*waves, lolls, resumes torpor*

And ColdChef, that CD sounds hott.

Really beautiful shots, ufez, despite the disappointing lack of kimmytitties.

Yikes! I missed this little entry on Chef's CD the first time I read it.

Merry Christmas, Baby-Christina Aguilera & Dr. John 5:43

Christina Aguilera & Dr. John...

Christina Aguilera & Dr. John...

Christina Aguilera & Dr. John!!

I would like to throw myself on the mercy of the court and remind the jury that this CD was a collaboration between myself and my musically evil wife.

Forgive me.

How cool is this -- I just found out Milwaukee has a "Gorilla Suit Society."

I was checking out the details for a show my friend's gallery is putting on at a local bar and there was mention of the group. Called my friend and found out that after the opening last night, they all adjourned to another bar and it turned into a monkey dance party.

Damn this 'working late' thing. I miss all the fun.

Technical question - jpoulos, taking out spam since the upgrade is much easier. Kudos! But it doesn't seem like it's necessary to "rebuild the site" afterwards. Am I right?

I think we need to bring this thread back on track.

*crickets*

Please, do not try to tell me that y'all are diligently working on the week before Christmas. What has happened to the level of goofing off around here?

I'm appalled.

We even missed National Monkey Day, and that ain't right.

I don't know about the rebuilding thing, tizzie. And I'm too mired in my annual pre-holiday funk (don't worry, it's not nearly as deep and funky as my annual post-holiday funk) to bother to check it out.

Fuck pandas. Fuck them!

I kid! I'd never fuck a panda. (Unless she was really hot, of course.)

Happy holidays, you bastards.

I'm goofing off, but it's less a seasonal malaise than it is total disgust with this friggin job and the people who currently own my time. If anyone has any connections they'd be willing to expend on my behalf, email me and I'll send you my resume and references.

I gotta get out of this place. By the hook or by the crook, I care not. But in the interim: thank god the internet has p0rni0li0. And stock quotes! but mostly good, olde-fashioned toothsome nekkid wenchery goodness.

ColdChef, you look like my dad ca. 1971.

Is it the man-titties? It's the man-titties, isn't it?

Whoa! I just noticed that if you look closely, you can see my erect nipple. Wow. That's disturbing on many, many levels.

You "just noticed" your erect nipple?!? Puh-lease!!! That is so obviously photoshopped in just to titilate us in a poor man's attempt at some Janet Jackson like glory. Shame shame.

Yes, the photo is impressive, but what really got me was this comment from the liner notes:

"And remember: here on the Gulf Coast, just because you have a tree in your living room, doesn't necessarily mean it's Christmas."

ColdChef, you naughty elf!

8 hours to vacation! I'll be spending three glorious days and two exceedingly lethargic nights at the premier indoor waterpark in the Kansas City, Missouri region! How 'bout you?

and yes, ColdChef, it is the man titties. If I wasn't so far away and so sober, I'd have half a mind to feel you up a bit.

I'll be walking 4+ miles each way to work. Again.

(Well, until Saturday morning, when I'll most likely be walking to the airport.)

Vidiot, I believe it was Pepys who declared that a daily constitutional was essential for the soul.

Heh heh heh.

Ow!

my sympathies to ya, vidiot. I've decided that I've been through too damned much this year to risk my already fragile health trudging from even further out than him to my unimportant job. I passed To Hell With It Ville an hour ago, I'm hurtling towards Fuck It All Town as we speak.

A note about posting images:

We encourage users to post images, especially those hilarous pics of monkeys wearing dresses or programming for Linux. But posting images that reside on someone else's server is considered by many to be bandwidth theft. Our thoughts on the matter, along with some solutions to the problem, can be found here. Thanks.

In an effort to help eliminate spam (and to preserve the sanity of the 9622 Volunteer Simian Spam-Cop Brigade) all threads older than 30 days will now be closed to comments.

Name:


Email Address:


URL:


Comments:

Remember me?