Indeed, I will pray for Mojo, and for tizzie.
Make sure to wear a low-cut blouse.
Posted by: dana on January 17, 2006 10:11 AMNot me, Dana - Crash Davis! He has applied for the position of Grand High Poohbah of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, and is shortlisted for head tenor.
Not exactly, but something like that. I forget the details.
Anyways, we need to direct the monkey mojo westward!
Unless you are west of there. Adjust for your location.
Posted by: tizzie on January 17, 2006 11:36 AMOf course, Crash should wear a low-cut blouse too, just in case.
Posted by: tizzie on January 17, 2006 11:37 AMOh, okay!
Mojo for him then. Will he teach us the secret handshakes if he gets the job?
Posted by: dana on January 17, 2006 12:18 PMOK, ten o'clock thursday I'll rub one out.
What? For luck!
Posted by: jpoulos on January 17, 2006 12:21 PMIf that was lucky, I should win every damn lottery.
Posted by: ColdChef on January 17, 2006 04:01 PMPerhaps the trick is that other people have to masturbate for you.
Posted by: witchstone on January 17, 2006 06:08 PMDear Witchstone,
Please send me some photos of yourself so that I can send some luck your way.
Thanx,
ColdChef
Both mo and jo going your way. Imagine them in their underwear. That's what I do. Even when I'm not at a job interview.
Posted by: Slack-a-gogo on January 17, 2006 10:19 PMImagine them in their underwear. That's what I do. Even when I'm not at a job interview.
Eeek!
*covers up sensitive areas*
Posted by: jonmc on January 17, 2006 10:33 PMThanks everyone. This waiting is making me sick to my stomach:
Okay, after that picture NOBODY'S getting any luck from me.
(For god's sake, man, get some Kleenex!)
Posted by: ColdChef on January 18, 2006 12:16 AMcrash, how can you have any pudding if we don't beat our meat???
Posted by: dana on January 18, 2006 09:50 AMWhen we were kids, my cousin used to refer to his penis as his "monkey".
Posted by: jpoulos on January 18, 2006 11:39 AMThat's funny, I used to refer to your cousin's penis as my monkey!
Posted by: tizzie on January 18, 2006 01:41 PMMy cousins used to refer to feces as "doobie." As in, "Somebody doobied in the tub." That made "The Doobie Brothers" much funnier to me, even if you consider the marijuana slang.
They also called blankets "kivers", (rhymes with "livers") which I've never heard anyone else say.
Posted by: ColdChef on January 18, 2006 03:19 PMIsn't it awful? I abandoned that blog during the aftermath. Still paying for it, though. I'm an idiot.
And doesn't everyone have tubshitting cousins?
Posted by: ColdChef on January 18, 2006 05:00 PMIs "kivers" derived from "covers"?
And when I was a kid, the polite term for feces was "jobbies".
Now, there's a word I haven't thought of in 25 years...
Posted by: jpoulos on January 19, 2006 09:48 AM"Kivers" is definitely derived from "covers." But changing the pronunciation that much is just...weird.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go take a Steve Jobbies.
Posted by: ColdChef on January 19, 2006 10:11 AMIs it 10:00 in Utah yet? Am I supposed to expose my bosom in any particular direction as part of this effort?
Posted by: tizzie on January 19, 2006 11:19 AMJobbies, Big Jobs, Jumbo JJs are actually English euphemisms for, if you will, excreta. This led to much hilarity for Not the Nine o-Clock News and Vyvyan on the Young Ones.
Rik: Will you swear to that, Vyvyan?
Vyv: Alright. Big jobs!
Intellectually taxing humor.
Posted by: kaf on January 19, 2006 01:37 PMJust got back from the interview.
Feeling so-so. Developing an ulcer.
Should have an offer or a rejection later today.
*sigh*
Posted by: Crash on January 19, 2006 02:06 PMDid you tell them that all your internet friends were "pulling for you?"
Cause, that might have hurt your chances.
Posted by: ColdChef on January 19, 2006 02:13 PMJumbo JJ's is the funniest phrase I've ever heard.
I'm going to start a band called Jumbo and the JJ's.
Posted by: jpoulos on January 19, 2006 02:23 PMw00p!
Hey, that is great news, mr crash, sir.
I only hope you will remember us when you become pope one day.
Seriously, congratulations.
Posted by: kaf on January 19, 2006 08:44 PMYAYAYAYAYYAYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sorry, got a bit carried away there.
Well done, friend!
Posted by: tizzie on January 19, 2006 08:50 PMI don't see what the excitement is about. So he got a job as a bouncer at a male strip club. Big deal. I could do that if I was gay, too.
Posted by: ColdChef on January 19, 2006 09:03 PMOh, who am I kidding? Fuzzy Navels for all my girls! W00t!
Posted by: ColdChef on January 19, 2006 09:04 PMOK, here's the deal:
I start Monday, 9 AM, at the TOP OF THE OFFERED SALARY RANGE, and I get ALL MY FAMILY'S HEALTH INSURANCE PAID 100%.
Guys and gals, I could wet my pants with joy. We're alternately laughing and crying here.
HAPPY, HAPPY DAY!
Posted by: Crash on January 19, 2006 09:14 PMI was wishing that you wouldn't get the job, so you would have more time to spend with us here.
I'm a bitter little man.
Posted by: ColdChef on January 19, 2006 11:08 PMHoly cow, congrats! I'm so glad we could be of some use, considering the singing troupe thing didn't work out.
Cheers, mr_crash_davis!
Posted by: dana on January 19, 2006 11:49 PMWow, I'm so glad I didn't read this ahead of time, because I might have ruint the mojo or something.
Way to go, crash!
Posted by: yhbc on January 20, 2006 12:26 AMCongrats, crash!
So, um, I can stop masturbating now?
Posted by: jpoulos on January 20, 2006 08:52 AMno way, jpo. I'm afraid you must keep the luck flowing.
*mails jpo some extra virgin olive oil 'cause it's, erm, good for the skin*
Posted by: romakimmy on January 20, 2006 09:17 AMWOOO!! Congrats, Crash!
So, pursuant to Dana's earlier comment, do we get to learn the secret handshake?
Posted by: aine42 on January 20, 2006 12:58 PM>I could wet my pants with joy
Is that covered by your insurance?
I was reading how This American Life did a piece about the cast of Riverdance stomping their feet in hopes that the energy would help them win the Lotto.
Do you think Ira would go for our "Rubbing for Crash's new job" story?
Posted by: tizzie on January 20, 2006 01:27 PMWell, then, I think you're probably the perfect person to pitch the story, CC!
Posted by: tizzie on January 21, 2006 10:27 AMA note about posting images:
We encourage users to post images, especially those hilarous pics of monkeys
wearing dresses or programming for Linux. But posting images that reside on someone
else's server is considered by many to be bandwidth theft. Our thoughts
on the matter, along with some solutions to the problem, can be found
here. Thanks.
In an effort to help eliminate spam (and to preserve the sanity of the 9622 Volunteer Simian Spam-Cop Brigade) all threads older than 30 days will now be closed to comments.