9622.net

Uglier than a baboon's arse.

Okay, call me a wierdo monkey, but I would TOTALLY love to see THEIR sex tape. Forget Tommy & Pam (don't even mention Kid Rock & Scott Stapp). I think Manson & Dita would be all kinds of freaky-cool-hot makin' the monkey-love!

"Golden Age of Grotesque" in all the right ways, baby!

First: Dita, why are you with that two-different-eyed treasurer of the D&D club, when it is I that truly loves you? Why??

Second: Are we all that shocked that people are people? I like the Nature Channel; you like the Nature channel. Marilyn Manson and Dita von Teese like the Nature channel. Is it really so crazy? They're people just like us. Just like us!!

I'll bet you a million dollars that Trent Reznor sometimes finds himself in a stall that has no TP. That Lee Anne Rimes sometimes gets a rock on her flippy. That Charlize-friggin-Theron occasionally gets some gum in her hair. They are not angels and devils from some elder plane! They are living, breathing, farting, irritable, itchy, stanky humans! HAIRLESS APES!!

So skip the autograph, next time.

I should exercise care when drinking my own beer.

"They're people just like us. Just like us!!"

You must not have noticed the picture up there at the top, Fes old man.

A one legged man swam in the lane next to me at lunch today, and totally kicked my ass.

At first, I didn't see that he had one leg - I can't see anything much without my glasses, and I wasn't paying that much attention. But it started getting on my nerves that this guy was leaving me in his wake, since usually it's me and a lot of grannies in the pool, and I am usually the hot shot.

So he zooms past me, and I see that something is amiss - namely, his leg, without which he's making me look slow as a frog in molasses.

I'm just glad that I could provide him with this self-esteem boost.

I would only watch the sex tape if MM were holding the camera and remained entirely off-screen.

So, tizzie, in your expert opinion, how exactly was the one-legged swimmer propelling himself through the water? Was he using his one leg as a fin? Were his arms super-developed? Or something else?

I think we should all contribute one-legged people stories. I have one: Flannery O'Connor's "Good Country People.

Oh, and was that FES?!?

At least once you got out of the water you had a leg up on him.

Bush is driving past my office in one hour. It is everything I can do not to run outside with a giant IMPEACH sign. Either that, or make a color copy of my butt and hang it on the overpass.

I've buried three people so far with only one leg. And all of them were missing the left.

That is all.

Now, if I reach twenty without a lefty, I guess that's SOMETHING.

So what we learn is that either there's too many dang right-wingleggers in Louisiana, or the ones that are there are all dying off.

"I've buried three people so far with only one leg."

I didn't know you only had one leg.

Or was 1 the sum total of all the legs on the three people?

I'm so confused.

Don't three lefts make a right?

Chef, did they have both legs when they came into the funeral home?

Hey ColdChef! Two new stiffs!

Yeeha! I'll get the bonesaw! Legfight in chapel 3!

I'd like to apologize to the entire world for that mental image.

9622.net: Was he using his one leg as a fin?

Was there a "rudder effect"?

Where the hell is ColdChef? Are we going to get any MardiGras reports or not?

Jeez, you'd think that the way we fawn all over him all the time that at least he'd post some pictures of boobies.

Didn't you get a copy of his last Xmas CD, tiz? That was all the ColdChef boobies I care to see for a very long time, I can tell you that.

Checking in from Mardi Gras in New Orleans.

Sorry. No boobie pics.

And I'm going to diet, thank you very much.

Oh, so you post it over there. What are we, chopped beignets?

The flickr pictures make me forgive you!

Oooh, Chef, you should submit to this!

Random note to house burglars: I understand the swiping of the laptop and digicam, but did you really have to steal the vodka and Jager?

Assholes.

DON'T USE YOUR TOOTHBRUSH!

Oh, Ufez! Those rat bastards! Is Coya OK?

That. Sucks.

And ColdChef's comment has me squicked. I'm trying desparatly to remember if Mom threw out the toothbrushes when we were robbed. I think I was 5. Defile my toothbrush on top of stealing my piggy bank?

I might need therapy.

Random note to house burglars: I understand the swiping of the laptop and digicam, but did you really have to steal the vodka and Jager?

Assholes

That's low. That's so mnay kinds of not right.

Ufez, that sucks! I'm sorry.

Though if it makes you feel any better, I'm sure that they'd have left the digicam behind if they'd done something nefarious with your toothbrush.

Ack. Ufez, that sucks!

Can one claim booze theft on insurance?

Thanks kids, but it's really not that big of a deal. That laptop was a hand-me-down and I was looking to replace the camera sometime this year anyhow. Nobody was hurt, and it could've been a whole lot worse.

(so help me, if anyone had laid a finger on my job, someone, somewhere would be wearing their balls as earrings)

Can one claim booze theft on insurance?

I'm not sure, but we're gonna try!

(so help me, if anyone had laid a finger on my job dog, someone, somewhere would be wearing their balls as earrings)

Sorry. Been working too much.

Heh, I thought you found the Jagermeister.

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