Judge Stephen Henroid: "She should have taken a gun and shot the other five [dogs] before she came back to court, if she didn't have any other options. This is serious. She's going to jail today."
Posted by mr_crash_davis at April 12, 2006 10:35 AM"The five dogs, are now at the Humane Society and its director is planning to petition to have the judge removed from the bench."
Does Kaye Grogan, write for ksl.com?
Posted by: jpoulos on April 12, 2006 11:49 AMKaye Grogan? Whozat?
But damn, that's, poorly, written.
And why is there a two-dog rule?
And what about Three Dog Night?
(Mama told me not to come...to Utah!)
Posted by: Vidiot on April 12, 2006 12:01 PMIf I was that court reporter, I'd have put a pack of Ballpark Franks in the woman's car, so that when she got out of jail the next day, she'd think, "Oh noes! Hot dog!"
Posted by: ColdChef on April 12, 2006 05:58 PMSo you can have thirteen wives but only two dogs? Utah sucks.
Posted by: towerbrave on April 12, 2006 07:02 PMThis is why I left! Well, no, this has nothing to do with why I left Utah. But What. The. Fuck. Utah? was pretty much how I felt the whole time I lived there.
Posted by: witchstone on April 12, 2006 10:11 PMIt's one thing to say "Don't buy a house here unless you have less than two dogs," but it's completely unreasonable to expect people to conform to a rule that wasn't in place when they bought their house. (sorry if my grammar is terrible - blame the pain pills.) Existing pets should be grandfathered in.
And everyone else would have a good reason to resist the pressure to add to their zoo. Sometimes, that would come in handy.
Posted by: tizzie on April 13, 2006 12:39 PMThis is, on the other hand, a nice and beauti site, and for which the management ought to be roundly complimented.
Posted by: Fes on April 17, 2006 04:29 PMA nice and beauti site that once bought a brick for the Helping Hands monkeys, like this one. Awwww!
Fes! I kiss you! How is life on Arrakis?
Posted by: tizzie on April 19, 2006 09:58 AMLife is good! And cherry on the sundae: tomorrow night me and Ufez are going to do a little night on the town. Woot!
Posted by: Fes on April 19, 2006 10:57 AMYou're in Dallas? That clears something up. you bitches better hoist one in my direction...mwah
Posted by: romakimmy on April 19, 2006 12:09 PMNot in Dallas yet. Flight's in a couple hours. Ufez is picking me up tomorrow evening after the corporate idiocy has wound down for the day.
Posted by: Fes on April 19, 2006 04:33 PMWe were going to do shout-outs, but MSNBC has called bullshit on the practice: "59 Things a Man should not do past 30," #19: Give shout-outs. Sorry ladies.
Hoisting of all sorts towards Italia will still be done, however.
Posted by: Fes on April 19, 2006 05:03 PMWho wrote that list? If you don't mist up during "Dream On," well .... you ain't right.
Posted by: tizzie on April 19, 2006 09:53 PMWell, it doesn't say anything about things women shouldn't do past 30, so there will be plenty of shout outs from me from New York this weekend. And I believe Chico & Vidiot are both man enough not to let a list tell them what to do, so I'm sure they'll chime in. :)
Posted by: aine42/czeltic girl on April 19, 2006 09:57 PMOh, and I'm going to Keeneland tomorrow. Get your bets in by cellphone, right up till race time!
Posted by: tizzie on April 19, 2006 09:58 PMAine, please give those manly men a big smooch for me, willya? If so, I'll be on the 3 horse in the third race for you.
Posted by: tizzie on April 19, 2006 09:59 PMI've said it before, and I'll slur it again...Fes is one hell of a fun guy to hang out with. Sadly, shoutouts are non existent, but believe me, many of you were spoken of. Some positively, even.
I've been itching to get back to St. Screwy, so I very well may see him again later this year.
Posted by: ufez on April 21, 2006 02:08 AMIs not the shoutout
in your mind
louder than a napkin
and more gratifying?
Especially when it's on jonmc's naked crotch. To be humane, I won't repost the pictures here.
Posted by: ColdChef on April 22, 2006 11:13 PMUfez is too kind by far, but let me say thanks again to him and Stacy for being superior hosts and delightful company. Not only did they pick me up at my hotel, they took me to an authentic Irish bar called Trinity (or something like that) and treated me to a gutfull of delicious cream ale. I had a great time, and I hope I didn't bore them too badly with my compendium of alcohol-fueled tales of yore.
Posted by: Fes on April 23, 2006 01:54 PMStop sulking, you buttholes. It's not that we don't *love* you, it's just that we had no sharpie.
Posted by: Fes on April 25, 2006 09:52 AMIf you really loved us, you would have used a steak knife to carve a shoutout into your chest. And then walked the country to show each of us your handiwork.
Guess your love is conditional.
Posted by: ColdChef on April 25, 2006 10:19 AMNot sulking, still trying to figure out why the phrase ...gutfull of delicious cream ale makes me think dirty thoughts.
Posted by: romakimmy on April 25, 2006 11:30 AMI think it's not so much the words themselves, but the way I say it, mio angelo.
Posted by: Fes on April 25, 2006 12:25 PMIt's true. He says it in a high pitched squeak reminiscent of a possessed guinea pig.
Posted by: kaf on April 25, 2006 12:53 PMBetween you and me, I always felt it was more "prairie-doggy."
Posted by: Fes on April 25, 2006 12:58 PMThat is the first time I've been called a butthole in ages - and I kinda like it.
Posted by: tizziw on April 25, 2006 01:11 PMSpeaking of body parts, when you see signs like this, you begin to consider a career change.
Posted by: ColdChef on April 25, 2006 10:06 PMUm. ColdChef? I thought you were, you know, a chef...?
at which point I can't help but hear the voice of a waiter saying, "Now then, anyone care for something from the cadaver cart? Very fresh today!" and me responding, "Thanks, but I'm stuffed, just some espresso, I think."
It's that same sort of zany internal dialogue that has, in the past, kept me out of the best schools.
Posted by: Fes on April 26, 2006 09:49 AM"Um. ColdChef? I thought you were, you know, a chef...?"
I always thought CC was a chef too, until Katrina hit and he revealed the truth. Of course, that was after I'd already used several of his "recipes".
Sick bastard.
Posted by: Crash on April 26, 2006 10:04 AMNow Playing at the 9622 Multiplex: Theatre One: Scary Movie 4. Theatre Two: The Truth About ColdChef
No fucking passes, homeslice!
Posted by: Fes on April 26, 2006 01:33 PMSo how many zombies would you say you encounter every month, on the average?
Indicentally, I just bought the extended DVD of Dead & Buried. Highly recommended for all dead-people-coming-back-to-life fans.
Posted by: kaf on April 26, 2006 01:59 PMYOu mean including cow-orkers or not?
I orked a cow once.
Funeral homes used to be called "cold-cookerys". I don't know why they were, but I've always liked that. Therefore, ColdChef.
I had a whole story about it on my MetaFilter user page once, but I deleted it accidentally and never got it back.
Posted by: ColdChef on April 26, 2006 07:18 PMOf course, that was after I'd already used several of his "recipes".
You're saying you didn't like the bloodsausage ala ColdChef?
Posted by: ColdChef on April 26, 2006 07:20 PMA note about posting images:
We encourage users to post images, especially those hilarous pics of monkeys
wearing dresses or programming for Linux. But posting images that reside on someone
else's server is considered by many to be bandwidth theft. Our thoughts
on the matter, along with some solutions to the problem, can be found
here. Thanks.
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