...but where the hell is Waldo?
[Hint: There is no maximum limit to the number of clicks allowed.]
And not one feckin' Anglican Primate, that bane of all monkey-searchers, among them!
We've all been had!
Adam Felber debunks the "new species of monkey" conspiracy.
Due to bandwidth and traffic restrictions, I'll only leave this up for a short time, so get it while it's hot.
Robin and Crystal "The Chick From 'Wings'" Bernard (as children) with their Ode to Ignorance "The Monkey Song" (mp3, 1.8MB).
Oh and beware the Anti-Christ too, moviegoers! (Not to mention women and commies).
Welcome to the website of the royal order of the ape-o-naut - listed on yahoo's 'What's New', specifically due to their Famous Monkeys Through History section. I am most disturbed/pleased by Oliver, the chimp who (at the bottom of the page) is listed as having learned to drink, enjoy coffee and beer, and smoke cigars - and make sexual advances, no less. Saddest is the rhesus named Crap. Yes, someone appears to have tattooed 'CRAP' on her forehead.
If you haven't been under a rock for the last three weeks, you know a little girl was abducted from her house in Salt Lake City on June 5th.
What you may not know is that, according to Fox News, SLC police are apparently investigating Father Guido Sarducci.
And what would you drink with it?
These made the email rounds a while back, but they need to be seen on a regular basis.
The Beverage
The Flowers
Warning, 950k and 650k mpg downloads, respectively, and approximately.
And that's exactly the way it should be. Dude: Bonobos rule.
Our dear Commish, and perhaps others, are finding themselves locked out of 9622.net while at work. I don't know how that works, but I've added a subdomain, which may help get around the problem. If you can't get to www.9622.net, try foobar.9622.net. It's worth a shot.
Fantasy Football Weekly's 2002 Annual Guide hit the mailboxes today. It got me thinking - as I'm going to soon start having to tinker with my own league (logo only at the moment, sorry), and as several of the league's owners have asked about having a fully on-line league (which is impractical for the real league, as some other owners aren't computer-literate or inclined), I was wondering if there'd be any interest in a 9622 league?
Nope, the Bonobos.
"We played some music - the male ape and I jammed a little and his sister joined in with us."
"He played keyboards and she played drums. It was wild."
Okay, so here's what I was thinking:
I really, really enjoyed the last CD swap. It was fun, and we got to peek inside of your musical collection. And while I won't say I loved them all...some of them have become regulars in my listening lineup.
Seeing that there seems to be some interest in another swap, I'd like to propose we give it a second go. However, this time, I'd like to suggest something different. Grab a coaster and follow me inside.
If only I could afford the good stuff, I could be one with the cosmos. I could walk the talk and talk the flock. I could fly like an eagle, sting like a sea-wasp. I could screw the livin' daylights outta those identical cheese-hostesses! But this large and painful neck-goiter has left me a-cursed, by god, and consigned forever to the shadows : I gotta keep cleanin' this goddamn bus-stop toilet, and it's starting to make. me. mad!
Well? It can't be Kafkaesque, because he liked 12 Monkeys. My guess: it's kokogiak. Or tj with a false beard, perhaps. But, whoever he or she is, he's definitely one of us...
Porca miseria![Insert Italian footballers' poor-losing antic of choice]. Funny how difficult it is to spot the differences between this year's awards and the previous ones.
I nearly posted in an I/P thread!
I need to just lie down until the urge goes away.
As a continuation of this post, I present to you more songs, with a twist.
The new template is in effect! If you see something weird, or something broken, or something you just don't like, comment away!
This layout should work fine on all reasonably modern browsers. There is an issue with Opera, though, which I'm trying to fix.
The side-scroll is goofy, but goofy is good sometimes, right? There should be no vertical scroll at 1024x768 or higher. I really couldn't do it at 800x600 - sorry. If you post an image wider than 400 pixels, it'll be slightly wonky, but nothing should break.
If you post anything that ends up being longer vertically than 400 pixels, either text or images or a combination, the hockey-card should acquire a scrollbar.
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Like this one has.
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You shoudn't need to scroll the page vertically at all, if you're at 1024 or higher. Comments are now flat and inline - click on 'join the discussion' to talk some crazy talk....
Hope you like it, fellow ape-afficionados (and monkey-maniacs)!
Someone who hasn't posted on the MetaFilter server test page (http://209.10.108.225/) yet should really go and post TJ's excellent old 9622 image:
I used my one post up already! Hell, Mathowie put up the 1142 medallion himself - we need some graphics of our own up there too!
I double-dog dare someone to post the new server to the front page of MetaFilter with a link that says something like "Hey, check out this new site! It's a little like MetaFilter!" Miguel would do it, but he's used up his freebie today. And I'm a coward who fears the wrath of The Matt.
http://209.10.108.225/
According to the book Wacky Wisdom, by (some people call me) Maurice Benziger, here's how to tell an ape from a monkey: Apes have arms that are longer than their legs, have no visible tail, and are longer than monkeys.
So carry on, good monkey fans, and find the exit with the snow-cone stand that much faster.
Monkeys on Juice--Red Lorry, Yellow Lorry
Monkey Suit--Plasmatics
Monkey Man--Rolling Stones
King Kong--Jimmy Castor Bunch
and...
9622.net now comes third, outranked by this charming antique toy, just asking to be given to that much hated little cousin we all have:
= ?
...or is it halftime and the US is actually beating Mexico (and holding them back pretty handily?)
Well, it complements Kafkaesque's Tom Waits clip quite nicely.[Via Bifurcated Rivets and Sharpeworld. Requires Quicktime and a little patience, but worth it.]
He's tanned, he's rested, and he's ready to rumble.
Apologies for the complete dearth of (real) monkeys in Bermuda (I looked, believe me!) Apparently, the days of monkeys tossing coconuts from palm trees is all but gone on most of our tourist paradises. You'll just have to settle for a monkey on a motor scooter.
Points of Interest
You must watch the Stephen Hawking videos. Horrible, but in a good way.
Footballers celebrate goals by kissing and slapping each other as part of a special ape-like male bonding ritual.
Apparently, monkeys can be trained to do a bit more than bring you breakfast in bed.
Nobody saw the chimp. Gina, 23, said: "The DVD player was moved and a watch was missing. Police dusted my flat for fingerprints but how will that help catch a chimp?"
things i've said or overheard said to the monkeys in my laboratory, by daniel engber.
After I sorta kinda got the go-ahead from John and Chris (are there any more admins? I didn't get the memo...) this morning (uh, my time : about 9 hours ago) to fire up my templatey skills, I've had about 11 cups of coffee.
Mmmm. Coffee.
I've also whacked together some html for your perusal. I'm far from a Real Coder or anything of the kind : I just like making stuff. I hope y'all like the stuff I made. I'm feeling a little bashful at the moment, to tell the truth.
But onward and forward : here's some detail on the design decisions I made... the sideways scrolling thing is a bit of a wank, I know, but I wanted to try it, and it's growing on me. Different, at least. All permalinks now go to flat pages where all comments can be seen in-line, not unlike our dear MetaMother. I hate pop-ups for comment threads. The #006699 is of course an homage to MeFi too, since that is from whence we sprang. I know some people hate the blue and grey colour schemes all over the place, but I kind of like 'em. It's not like they're written in stone, anyway. A little css-changer doo-dad would allow us to customize our colors : I could add one if you like.
The code is a mess - all the stylesheets are still inline to individual pages and stuff, and a bit messy. I just wanted to get some feedback on my work so far.
The layout seems to work flawlessly in IE 6 and Mozilla 1.0. I haven't tested Netscape, as it sucks donkey butt. There is an issue with Opera 6.0 and the z-indexes, but I'm too whacked out and caffeinated to figure out what it is right now. Also, things might be weird at low screen resolutions. Let me know...
Please let me know what you think. Keep in mind too that we can have multiple index pages with multiple different designs under MT, so other folks who can do better than I could make new ones too, of course.
So, without further ado (and please be gentle if you think it sucks - it's the first time I've done something like this for an audience) : have a look! I had tons of fun making it, anyway.
See you guys later - I'll be on Bermuda next week.
Hey, could you keep an eye on the house for me? Maybe water the plants, watch out for burglars, that sort of thing? The key's under the mat, just let yourselves in.
Thanks!
Did the KKK actually take his baby away? I'm listening to the song (for probably, what, the 200th time in my life?) and it occurs to me that the girl wasn't kidnapped. She just left him, and he can't cope and so he's blaming the KKK. Maybe this has always been obvious to some, but it's like the scales have fallen from my eyes.
Gabba Gabba Hey!
So. It's the weekend. It's the Cup.
What are we drinking, friends and neighbors?
I just secured my Grolsch supply, to be moderated with a little Gin and Tonic, should I feel the first pangs of malaria beginning to set in. I am also toying with a little julep action.
Webtender, take me away!
Title: MINT JULEP
Categories: Beverages
Yield: 1 servings
4 Mint sprigs
1 ts Powdered Sugar
2 ts -Water
2 1/2 oz Bourbon Whiskey
Servings: 1
Into a sliver mug or a 12 oz. Tom Collins glass put: the mint,
powdered sugar, and water. Fill the glass with shaved ice, add the
whiskey and stir gently until glass is frosted. Decorate with slice
of orange, lemon, pineapple and a cherry. Insert 5 or 6 sprigs of
mint on top. Serve with straws.
This recipe is from OLD MR. BOSTON DELUXE BARTENDER'S GUIDE".
France drawing with Uruguay is a good excuse to look at National Lampoon's spoof of Man's Health magazine. Oh - if only I knew how to post an image! Hint, hint, hint...
Then I must go on about the only Cup that matters to me...
Lord Stanley's.
It's no use pretending it isn't going to happen, monkey-lovers. Portugal, the tiny but amazingly talented(and perfectly formed) 9622.net of the world wide web of sports, is about to tenderly make love to your behemoth AOL. Please, guys - do not deny me this rare David vs Goliath moment and, above all, do not attempt any of these songs.
You can fit 47 in an ordinary shoebox.
One day we will wear clothes and drive cars made from microscopic monkeys. This is just the first step!
One day, monkeys the size of a cheese-mite will course through your bloodstream, eradicating viruses and making our country strong!
Or, heaven forbid, SoccerMonkey.
One post on the front page, and it's all World Cup, all the time. If we don't start getting some more monkey and random weirdness stuff around here, then I'll - well, I don't know what I'll do. Let me think about it.