In honor of some legendary bad advice from AskMen.com in re: picking up chicks, I pose the question: what's the worst advice you ever got?
For me: "What you do for chigger bites, Fes, is take a half gallon of bleach and put it in a tub of cold water. Then, you scratch the s**t out of those chigger bites - I mean, really dig in, open 'em up. Then, get into the water." Don't ever do this.
I also once took a cat in the shower. But that's a different story entirely. I don't recommend trying that one, either.
Summer Swap '03 Ends Tomorrow!
Got your disks out?
previous thread here. My disks went out today, here's the playlist:
You Don't Really Ever Fall In Love Unless You're 17
First, an interlude to indulge in a bit of stress-relieving fun:
1. Supersuckers Gone Gamblin
2. Bus Boys New Shoes
3. Ton Loc Cheeba Cheeba
4. Pursuit of Happiness Cigarette Dangles
Then: vacation!
5. Urge Overkill Sister Havana
6. Pink Floyd San Tropez
7. Dan Baird Lost Highway
8. Gladys Knight and the Pips Midnight Train to Georgia
Intermezzo: Underrated Joe Jackson Song
9. Throw It Away
A summer without girls is like a winter without women! Or something.
10. Robert Cray Right Next Door
11. David Gilmour All Lovers Are Deranged
12. Cake Short Skirt Long Jacket
13. Bryan Adams The Only Thing That Looks Good On Me Is You
14. Arc Angels Sweet Nadine
15. Veruca Salt My Sharona
16. Ugly Americans Piece of Heaven
17. Letters To Cleo Dangerous Type
18. The Donnas Too Bad About Your Girl
And as autumn approaches, a mans thoughts invariably turn to the fin of de siecle:
19. Kate Cebrano and the Ministry of Fun Stairway To Heaven
20. Ian Anderson Walk Into Light
As ColdChef noted, it's after midnight, Lisbon time. So...
. . .let me be the first second to wish our favorite boulevardier, bon vivant, flaneur, cult author, drug pusher, failed political candidate, wedding-brochure model, newspaper columnist, record label owner, International Man of Mystery, and (oh yeah) functional alcoholic a very, very happy birthday.
I got some pictures developed the other day. It turned out to be an old roll of film from last summer. Amidst these nostalgic photos appeared:
I have no idea what the fuck this is (more inside).
It all started when I helped Jonmc find hisself a pad in my neighborhood. He, stupidly, wanted to buy me a drink in celebration. That devolved fairly quickly into an all-out (and I do mean all-out, if ya know what I mean) episode of depravity, debauchery, and other nasty words that begin with "D."
Some of the most [ahem] creative shoutouts of all time herein. You have been warned. Not safe for children, old people, small animals, livestock, people with heart conditions, people with stomach conditions, people who use conditioner, employers, confessors, father figures, infants, or cheesemakers.
Many things in this world get better with age. Cheese, for one. And wine. Fucking C-Span.
But none so much as dong resin.
In which case, hooray for 30 years old today!
Well, today guess [I] know will what be day!
Hope it's a good one, Thomcatspike!
Today is, shoeless joe jackson day, in honor of the All Star Game's new format.
Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you the master melody-maker, and surely one of the finest beings on this or any other oxygen-atmosphere planet:
Joe Jackson!
It is time someone recognized the magical confluence of every single event prior to Joe Jackson's conception that came together in one perfect moment to allow the creation of this man, this God, this Joe Jackson.
Please celebrate Joe Jackson Day responsibly.
I wash my hair and I kid myself I swap pretty smooth...
We're a week past dead - it's time to burn, ya big apes!
Here we go: We had a total of 11 swappers (of 18) who reported having completed master disks or had master disks pending. Since 11 is an odd number and the rules state no groups over five, I have placed myself in both groups two and three. No one (including myself) is in a swap group with anyone they were in a swap group with during the spring swap, and no one is in a group with someone they have requested not to be in a group with.
Deadline for sending your disks is July 31. I'll be sending mailing addresses to the groups momentarily, probably in your mailbox by the time you read this. Anybody got any beefs? Email me.
Swappers One: "The Clint Eastwoods"
kaf
salmonberry
mikrophon
jonmc
Swappers Two: "The Lee Van Cleefs"
tizzie
vidiot
eyeballkid
fes
Swappers Three: "The Eli Wallachs"
cyrano
anathema
aine42
fes
On August 1, we'll post playlists and commence out-of-group (and out-of-swap, as needed) disk begging.
Original NSFW(gross, but not pr0n) pic here. It's neccessary to understand a few of the jokes within
Well, you know. Tonight I had a fun, life affirmingly ridiculous evening and I realized that, after pips, the first people I wanted to tell aboout it were my monkey brethren. Yes, I admit it, I already miss you bastards. I'm not sayin' that I don't have legit reasons to get peeved every once in a while, but it ain't worth destroying the cool thing we've made here.
TJ, I'm sorry. I wouldn't have even bothered kidding around with you if I didn't consider you a freind, OK? I've just been under a lotta stress, and well people have their limits.
Mefi's a whole other kettle of fish but you guys, I'd hate to do without.
Forgiven?
*ducks*
Don't you sometimes just wish you could have those 166 minutes of your life back?
What and who is the Worst Of Britain? Isn't it about time the Anglos got a touch of their own venom? James Delingpole, in an amusing article, has just let the cat out of the bag as far as self-deprecation is concerned. It's all fake, of course. So let's have you!
