We all know our conscience and our will are puppies who have the nous to sleep together and pay no heed to each other. And yet... We are, after all, a hopeful species... Will you share one or two unfulfillable resolutions for 2004 we can all goad you about come 2005?
Don't be tongue-tied now! Who knows if we can achieve the odd one?
More compassionate? Fitter? Less selfish? Thinner? More sober? Less anti-social? A better cook? A better friend? A better husband or wife? More honest? More focussed?
The mind boggles!
Merry Holiday Cheer to all.
Okay, this was actually the photo I made for our baby shower last month (the "Immaculate Reception," of course), but since it's a celebration of certain Messiah's today, why stop at just one? Sure, our Conception wasn't Immaculate (not that there were judges watching or anything) but for all of us monkeys who are pretty sure that we're just about as important as any run-of-the-mill Chosen One, happy holidays to us all.
Are you, at heart, a stubborn, curmudgeonly, utterly reclusive cat?
Or a patient, understanding, anything-for-the-season little monkey?
Are you - or have you ever been - in possession of decent crabcakes? Not to mention alcohol and peace and quiet?
And, most importantly, do you condemn those monkey-lovers who rewrite their posts after reading Tizzie's reply?
If this is true, then we need to plan the route as well as the Biggest. Monkey. Meetup. Ever.
"The fate of nations is intimately bound up with their powers of reproduction. All nations and all empires first felt decadence gnawing at them when their birth rate fell off." --Benito Mussolini
I'm just trying to make America great again, you know. I'm going to be a father again, to another son, on or around February 25.
I shudder to think what would happen if Readymade and I ever got together. Daycares would give us volume discounts. Bunnies would seethe with jealousy. The Chinese would have us brought up on UN charges.
I have to start wearing tighter underwear.
....which means "swimmer with a large penis."
It's not a monkey, but I thought it was worth mentioning.
Here's a smoocher for your blessed toocher, Oh Most Free, Fanciful and Musically Knowledgeable One. May your pooky and nooky always be good ones. May you fall off the wagon as soon as you can. Long live the truly American Irish-Italian alliance that brought you into being!
And here's the first twenty bucks towards that heart/spleen/liver transplant - the choice is yours, meu irmão!