9622.net

MARICOPA COUNTY, Ariz. -- An extremely overweight dog is being rehabilitated after being fed a diet of beer and doughnuts.

Today, 3 p.m., email to Evil Corp CEO, COO, CDO, CFO: "It is with sincere regret (ed. note: heh) that I must, at this time, tender my resignation as designated butt-boy and chief blame officer for Evil Corporation, Inc." Gnaw on that, sphicterians! Booyah! That's all.

AMSTERDAM, Netherlands -- Bears killed and ate a monkey in a Dutch zoo in front of horrified visitors, witnesses and the zoo said Monday.

More carnage (not for the squeamish).

I got to pet him. Then, he won the Kentucky Derby!