Category : Monkey Thoughts
I would be sad to see this beloved place go. The monkeyhouse was a community, a spirit, a moment in time, maybe. But if it disappears altogether, we lose the hope of its resurrection, and the chance to go back and reread the threads that are like beloved books that I keep next to the bed and can't bear to part with.
Am I being selfish?
Love,
Tizzie
BLOEMFONTEIN, South Africa (AP) - A South African zoo wants a chimp to go cold turkey.
Pink frilly dress and a bow, or are you wash-'n-go? Confess - are you high maintenance, or low?
Quote Machine Monday! I love a good quote. What are your favorites?
Also: Cybermonkeys! (courtesy of the Republic of Farkistan)
Two of my favorites:
"In the Void is virtue, and no evil. Wisdom has existence. Principle has existence. The Way has existence. Spirit is nothingness." --Musashi, 1645
"The two greatest of man's sins are these: Laziness, and Narcissism. All the evil in the world stems from these two things." -Fr. F. X. Cleary, 1992
OK, one more: "When in doubt, it's vitally important to keep moving. Velocity is important. Kinetic energy frees the brain and confuses the enemy." Damn straight.
In honor of some legendary bad advice from AskMen.com in re: picking up chicks, I pose the question: what's the worst advice you ever got?
For me: "What you do for chigger bites, Fes, is take a half gallon of bleach and put it in a tub of cold water. Then, you scratch the s**t out of those chigger bites - I mean, really dig in, open 'em up. Then, get into the water." Don't ever do this.
I also once took a cat in the shower. But that's a different story entirely. I don't recommend trying that one, either.
Our beloved witchstone is going under the knife today--twice! Although she's probably deep in an anaesthesia-induced slumber right now, let's give her something to read when she wakes up.
Get well soon, babe.
A while back I asked everybody about their nutritional crack. Today I wanna know your media valium, that peice of popular culture, that instantly lowers your stress level and turns you into a happy ball of relaxation.
For me, old M*A*S*H reruns are the ticket. All I gotta do is hear the theme music and I'm happy as a clam, which is odd considering the show considered "provocative" in it's heyday. Plus this is one of coolest pieces of memorabilia I've ever seen.
WKRP, I Love Lucy and any 70's Top 40 like the stuff on here is like sweet sedation. I'd love to know what you guys' fix is...
Some say Caruso defined the role of Canio, others would say Mario Lanza or even Placido Domingo.
They are all wrong. None could hold a candle to Mr. Winkie:
It's either colds or the Martian Death Flu. This gives us plenty of time (between naps) to contemplate things like life-size, stainless-steel installations of anthropomorphic monkeys.
Rona Pondick's Monkeys, and other equally disturbing works, are currently on view at the DeCordova Museum and Sculpture Park in Lincoln, Mass. If you go, bring us some chicken soup. And stop making all that racket.
Today I celebrate my first birthday on the blue side. What's the big whup you say? Well I never would have met so many twisted, eloquent, hilarious people had it not been for that side. And had it not been for that side, I never would have found myself feebly flinging feces over here. So happy birthday to me and thanks, all you magnificent sonofabitches.
I'm feeling verklempt.
For a mere $35, we can get a 6x3 bed. Do I smell the next 9622.net group purchase?
Above: A Helping Hands helper monkey assists one of the programs most "challenged" individuals. Thanks to your donations, Jason can now lead a reasonably normal life--except for all the poo.
Thanks to your kind and generous donations to the Buy-A-Brick fund, we have enough to buy the brick.
The tally has reached $92.08 (after PayPal fees). One of the admins has conveniently found $7.92 in the cushions of his sofa, to put us over the top.
We'll send out the check on Monday. Zod only knows how long it will take to actually get a brick installed, but we'll keep you updated.
The monkeys thank you.
OK!
Things may have gotten a little out of hand in that other thread, what with all those deities and assorted riff-raff stopping in for a spot of tea and salvation. I offer you this new (and very serious) thread in which to review the CDs which have winged their way into your mailboxes. Unless you had Optamystic in your trading group, in which case the CDs you sent to him will never be delivered, because he sleeps under a bridge in Hollywood.
Or something.
Have at it, ye scurvy dogs!
I swear, they should have these things on a weekend...it's way to early to be at work...
Pics here, and I must publicly lament not having the time to hang with more of the MeFiers and not getting a wider array of pictures. That said, I am sure that there will be more pictures at assorted Web sites soon...and no witchstone/aw catfight! Lawd have mercy! Methinks for the next meetup, we do whitewater rafting...
The monkeys of Vietnam are endangered. Seeing as most of us will never get there, have a look here. Then forget about them. They're lunch for larger primates.
1. How long is a monkeys tail?
2. Does a monkey poo in the woods?
3. If you lead a monkey to water can you make it drink?
4. Is a monkey catholic?
5. Why not?
Answers to be written on a piece of poo and flung from the highest tree you can find.
Winner gets this prize.
I happened to see a story on Hellion the Monkey on 60 Minutes last night. In the 1970s she was trained to be a helper for a disabled man named Robert. Now there is a large organization called Helping Hands Monkeys, which trains monkeys to be caretakers for the disabled.
Don't know if anyone else saw the spot, but it was truly remarkable the tasks Hellion was performing for Robert. More than a little moving, too, as it juxtaposed their modern day lifestyle with that from the original story in the 70s. Now old and a little grumpy, Hellion still went about her Helping role with what almost seemed like pathos. The two had grown into symbiosis.
Build your own comic at angrymonkey.com. I coulda posted this at that other site, but c'mon angrymonkey. Plus it has nifty scroll bar tricks.
