9622.net

That's weirder than fuck : this evening was the first time in weeks I watched the good old Armed Forces Korea Network for more than a second or two, and the 20 minutes I spent watching, I was watching the exact 60 Minutes piece you're talking about.

I'm all freaked out now.

Obligatory Stephen King reference.

Nice story, sorry I missed it.

BUY-A-BRICK
Help pave the way for our next monkey placement.

The Helping Hands "Buy a Brick" program is a unique opportunity to commemorate a special event or honor a loved one in a lasting way, while supporting a monkey helper placement.

When you contribute $100.00, we will engrave a brick with the name of your choice. Each engraved brick will be placed in the garden patio at the Bernice and Milton Stern Building of our breeding facility at Southwick's Zoo.
I am SO down with this. Can we get a brick that says "9622.net: Pollocking your keyboard since '02"

Hundred bucks? Are there 20 people here willing to donate a five spot?

Even weirder, I was only watching 60 minutes because I was waiting around for the last episode of the "Stephen King's The Shining" miniseries. It's all too much!

But it all makes sense when you remember that Stephen King shot John Lennon.

I'm down with a fiver for the monkey-brick.

Count me in. Aw too.

I'd put in ten if we can put something vulgar on the brick. Five otherwise.

And also, Monkey Shines wasn't Stephen King.

Damn, you're right. Oops. Why did I think it was?

Here's the info page about the Buy-A-Brick program.

Here's the Southwick's Zoo homepage.

A couple of us live not too far from the Zoo. If we were to do this, one of us could take a pic of the 9622 brick.

I love you guys. *sniffle*

Has anyone got PayPal? I'd collect the money, but it'd have to be cash or checks.

Um...here's the info:

Buy-A-Brick

The zoo

I'll set up a paypal address. I already use the service.

i'm in.

Wow today is flippin Thursday, for me. Lets see here, Monkey business, has real stories, about being human, odd. Over there, Metagossip, and school must be out. As it is obvious the children are at play. I also didn't realize The Enquirer was so read by the young ones. Now how long till Matt joins us? Boy this is proving Darwin wrong. As man becomes a monkey, then we lower ourselves from there. How do you pancake gossip?........... add your favorite syrup.

I have PayPal, so can send whoever it is who will put it together.

Could this be the first positive contribution to society on the part of us monkey freaks?

OK, we've set up a donation page.

I'll post a thread to the front page, announcing it.

Adam, I'm going to have to back Kaf on this one. Close graphic, though. Looks like you'll have to donate double now.

que? quoi? what? huh?

egg salad?

Oh, my bad. That was to the Stephen King reference. I believe the cover of The Skeleton Crew had a similar graphic and contained a story called "The Monkey" about a satanic monkeytoy that can't be gotten rid of.

Okay, this is all too serious for me so I'm going to vanish again like a runaway monkey hitting a dangerous 3.7mph in his crippled master's wheelchair.
*runs away embarassed*
Hmmm. Is it just me, or did I just let off a loud fart in a quiet room?

Chill out, monkey woman! All is good!

*flings poo*

egg salad?

*flings egg salad*

Yay for egg salad!

Wheeeeeeeeee maoyonaisssssssse!!!!

I gotta agree with you there, Aw. Mayonaise is *totally* whee.

*Hides Hellmann's before Aw gets home*

Swizz! The 9622 buyabrick thankyou page does not exist. Can I have my $5 back? (j/k)

oops. thanks. will fix.

Mayonnaise is not wheee. Mayonnaise is repulsive in every facet.

aw, britt. you just don't know how to use it...

I learned about a month ago that mayonnaise is made from eggs.

This warped me more than I am prepared to admit.

I mean, ewww gross.

I learned about a month ago that mayonnaise is made from eggs.

This warped me more than I am prepared to admit.

I mean, ewww gross.

Who else gets all red-faced and pissed off when they do that?

Dammit!

I don't know, britty-bear*. I've never done it.

*My niece is named Britnee, and that's her nickname. Nothing personal. Unless it's a major turn-on, then we can talk.

Nothing personal but there is no way I am letting you call me that.

Only because my name already immediately brings to mind The Britney, or the Brittany from the Chipmunks, or a five-year-old. Being known as britty-bear might only compound the problem. You can, however, call me a thunderslut. I've got no issues at all with this.

Damn. I was really hoping for the major turn-on angle.

OK, the nickname-to-never-again-be-mentioned is out.

IM DISABLED MYSELF AND YES I DID SEE THIS AND TO THE GUY WHO SWORE AT THIS AND MADE FUN. WHATCH IT BECUSE YOU COULD END UP IN THIS MANS PLACE. IM APPLYING TO BECOMEA FOSTER PARENT FOR THESE MONKEYS I THINK THIS IS A WOUNDERFUL THING TO HELP SOMEONE OUT WHO IS WORSE OFF THAN OURSELVES.
GOD BLESS THESE MONKEYS FOR THE WORK THEY ARE DOING AND FOR THE PEOPLE WHO ARE WORKING HARD TO TRAIN THEM AND GET THEM TO THE PEOPLE WHO SO NEED THEM.

Thank you, MJ. We're all actually pretty good primates, but sometimes we do need reminding that there are people in all levels of need who we can be helping.

And yes, this is a wonderful thing. We weren't making fun of it. Hopefully someday you can come back and see pictures of the brick we had installed at the Southwick's (Massachusetts) Zoo with the donations we raised among ourselves to support just this program (hint, hint to the admins - what is the brick status, anyway?)

Good luck to you, and God bless.

Indeed, MJ, I was moved by the 60 Minutes spot to create this post. Apologies if the tone here was misunderstood, but it is a worthy cause and we wanted only to help.

On behalf of all the 9622 members, your continued good health and our best wishes to all concerned in this admirable project

And just to pontificate here a little bit, this act was one of the things that made me realize how great the combined power of a bunch of cynics can be. The example of Modest Needs is a good one, where merely by pooling resources and funds of but a few conscientious participants, you can help someone out.

We had discussed a rotating charity idea, where we could give to various causes throughout the year, and I'd like to see that idea come to fruition. I think I spent over ten dollars on beer after work today, so I could definitely forgo one such night to help out every month.

Thoughts?

I think it's a good idea, but maybe not every month? Maybe every two? I wonder if all the monkeys can swing a lot of ducats every month. Sometimes ten bucks can mean eating or not.

And what sort of charities? How would we decide? Or maybe every couple of months a different monkey could pick a different charity?

I like the idea of a bunch of curmudgeons pooling beer money to make someone's life better. It's nice.

Me three.

I could go fer that.

We've been chastized for making fun of something that we actually didn't make fun of. That's got to be a first.

I'm down with the beer money for charity gig (although I have no more beer money since I'm well on my way to being a starving grad student). But I could probably scrape together a few bones a couple of times a year.

9622.net: GOD BLESS THESE MONKEYS

So, speaking of charity... On New Year's Day 2004, I'm scheduled to join Boston's "L Street Brownies" in their annual jumping-in-the-ocean-in-the-middle-of-winter ritual. A bunch of us are doing it at work--we're hoping to have 100 swimmers from our company alone, and our goal is to raise $100,000 for various charities. We're all picking our own charities. Since I really don't have a favorite charity these days, I was planning to give the money to Helping Hands.

But this talk of charities makes me wonder what else is out there. Let's take submissions. If you have a favorite charity, let us know at admin(AT)9622(DOT)net. We'll see how many we come up with and we'll set up a fund.

Also. The status of the Helping Hands Brick:

When last I heard, everything was on track. They only place the bricks once a year--in the summer, I think. They say they'll let us know when the brick is in place.

A bunch of us are doing it at work
Well I guess that beats stuffing envelopes. *snare drum*

But this talk of charities makes me wonder what else is out there.

We should consider the Dong_Resin Home For Wayward Girls. Non-profit! He does it all out of the goodness of his heart.

the goodness of his heart.

Close. Try another organ.

How about this one? (NSFA)

How about we all pull together and finally recognize dong resin in the way he should be, with a much deserved " title="Almost an embarrassing gesture for such a fine human being." target="_blank">La Pavoni?
You're all english majors and shit, what's 700 bucks between you, what with the rich cabbage you pull down? Piffle. And what were you going to do with it, surely not feed some lil' brown kid who'll only grow up to resent americans anyway, or some obnoxious cripple who deprives us the good parking spots.
Charity begins at home, right? He'd do it for you.
Some of you.

Heh. That's real fun the way they thwart deep linking.
Thank you, espresso jerkwads.

I thought you meant that the girls thwarted deep licking. I was about to say, after doing a monkey-gal headcount, that you got the wrong girls.

We love the deep licking.

I used to use a model similar to this when I'd do catering for a cafe I worked at lo these many years ago. It was damn fine. It was also 4 grand or something. But it had an eagle on the top, so that makes it all worthwhile.

9622.net: We love the deep licking.

It'd be good if it was at one point a real bald eagle, reduced in sized like a shrunken head, then gold plated.

For 4 grand, merely being built by children in some asian country just doesn't cut it.

This is almost the same one. Only 800 bones though!

Sweet Jesus, doen't anyone just microwave instant maxwell house anymore. You people put out a suspicious amount of effort.

I can't drink that kind of coffee, Jon. I fully appreciate that some people like it, but for me there's no point if I don't like the taste. And actually, I get stomach aches from Folger's etc.

It's fun to know a lot about coffee and find what you like, in the same way that knowing wine is fun. As long as you're not a snobbish a-hole about it, it's all good, right?

For 800 clams, I'd want my coffee delivered by Sting, naked.

Would you settle for 800 naked clams?

Oh, and also Jon, it's all part of The Intellectual Conspiracy Against The Common Man.

What, did you miss a memo or something?

EEeeek! Clammy!

Coffee is a drug. And addicts, like donger, and perhaps Kaf, like to make their addiction a hobby.

Same way I drool over a hand-blown glass bong or fine, homegrown ganja--or you deep-fried pocky--these fools finger espresso machines in stores and wax philosophical about Ethiopian beans.

The above was addressed to jonmc. Like the deep-fried pocky reference didn't give it away.

I'm not really a coffee maniac like I used to be. I still dig it, but I can't do caffeine like I used to.

The deep friend pocky always gives it away.

Chew through ONE week dead AIDS patient to retrieve a swallowed balloon of kona beans, and suddenly you're an "addict".

Did I tell him to swallow the balloon?

So just what kind of coffee are you enjoying lately, El Dongo?

I've just been getting organic French Roast from our local tree-huggin' store, french pressed in the morning. And usually a large Celebes Kalossi from the local Diedrich's in the afternoon.

I have nothing against people enjoying good joe. I've been known to enjoy it myself, when someone else makes it.

I just don't belive in exerting myself without pay.

And tizzie, RTEMT met sting when he worked security at a concert of his. He said that the stingster was kinda rough on the old olfactories, if ya know what I mean.

Someone in the office just committed the cardinal sin of confusing French Vanilla with French Roast. Hot flavored-coffee spurting through one's nostrils is not a feeling that quickly fades.

I just seem to be winning freinds and influencing people all over creation lately. I'm just gonna shut up for the rest of the day and then go drink myself stupid and possibly start a bar fight. Check tommorows headlines.

Flavored coffee is an agent of Satan.

Not only is it made from the worst possible beans, but it stinks everything up and ruins your grinder.

It ruins your grinder?!

Well, in the sense that it makes all subsequent grinds taste like flavored coffee.

Ya didn't ask, but I'm drinking Ethiopian Yirgacheffe and some Mocha Java, which with a bit of milk is heavenly.

Dong tells me that when I use milk I'm fucking over all that is good and holy. But he's a prick like that.

I used to like to put milk in the light roasts, to cut down on the acidity. Lately though, I can't hack the black, and take milk in all my coffee.

Jon, I think you're overreacting.

Dude! It's an emoticon!

Get the dart-gun!

My taste for coffee is more goat-like than your own refined pallet Kafka, as I mostly drink to avoid homicide, and will drink what's handy, although when in the Miami area I'll enjoy one of many fine Cuban espresso which they all but give away in various foodstops down there. It can be like 50 cents for an ungodly rich, condensed milk-thickness shot.

It's almost like they want me to start humping things.

Flavored coffee is like peeing on a baby, only wrong.

God, this place never changes! [I love it.]

Here's a coffee recipe for the donger:

Scary Mike's Heart-Explodin' Caffienne Wonder
(This needs a percolator, no Mr. Coffee shit for this)
1 Take about 4 bottles of Water Joe (Caffinated water)
2 Grind 1 pot's worth of coffee beans.

3 while that is brewing, grind another pot's worth of beans.

4 toss old grounds out, put new ones in, brew again.

5 repeat steps 2-4.

6. Crush up 4 Vivarin, put in pot.

7. Stay awake for 72 hours involuntarily.

Note: Do not have 2 cups of this...

The only reason I remember the process is that I stopped studying and watched in awe and anticipation... (It ws finals)

I'm pretty sure I read that one in the Anarchist's Cookbook.

That would make sense if you knew Scary Mike

The only coffee I can drink involves whiskey and coke.

And I prefer it without the coffee.

FYI, I used the other spelling of "palette" solely for a sheer love of controversy!
Booogah!

I actually did use that Water Joe stuff to make an espresso once.

It was bloody awful. It's like having elephant lungs in a muskrat.

odd, ufez.. since that's the exact kind of coffee I'm having right now.

Actually, dong, it's palate.

*sigh*
It's a good thing I'm pretty.

Just remember, tj, you're not drinking, you're just having a cuppa. Also, you're not an alcoholic, you're a caffiene addict.

I miss coffee. Damn the migraines. Damn them.

Hey, it's just a job, you know? Some people, they get to be CEO. Us, we just punch the clock and make your head hurt. It may not be glamorous, but it's all we've got.

gah! first day of my internship, and i miss out on this coffee discussion? utter frustration!

I'm not really a coffee maniac like I used to be. I still dig it, but I can't do caffeine like I used to.

I am better with it. I still go nuts, but only until about 3:00. I can't drink after 4:00, or I'm up all freakin' night.

100!

101!

Hey, someone with a better grip of the tongue than myself use "pathos" again.

That's one of those things that distinguish us from those off-brand monkey-themed chat sites.

Yes I should have used "which" instead of "that" but that only illustrates why I'm staying away from "pathos".

I wanted to buy a tamale
But I didn't have enough pathos.

Yooooou're dithpicable.

Pathos peanuts over here please, I'm hungry.

haha @ jonmc

Actually, in writing you should endeavor to use "that" instead of "which" whenever possible, or so I've been told by technical writing gurus.